I hate to be a Debbie Downer with a topic, I actually had my doubts on whether I should write about this or not because I feel very strongly and I am against Bullies, people who are mean to others and those who feel are superior to others and like to belittle others. In fact this post is more in support to all those who have been bullied or have to put up with peoples uncalled for and nasty ways of dealing with people… hence, THEY are the ones nobody likes and those whom the rest of us can learn from their “relationship failures”.
I speak a lot about dating and developing good relationships…true most of the time it revolves around love …. That is because I can’t help, but to be a romantic! But what happens when you are the one who nobody likes. For example, recently I came across this:
Why is it that some people even on a social space like Facebook where people whored around the word “friends” some people just can’t get any?? And I know some are thinking “Well I never go on Facebook and I don’t care about interacting with people on their I rather interact in person”. I agree to the rather interact in person, but not so much with ignoring what today is pretty much a way of communication and living whether we like it or not… Virtual communication is here to stay people! So GET CONNECT PEOPLE! Umm.. go ahead and LIKE my page and connect with me now while your at it : CONNECT WITH ME
Now the easy thinig to say is “well they rather have a small group of friends than be liked by everybody” and I agree some people do choose to have a small intimate group of friends, but I also feel that is an excuse for the “nobody likes them folks” to explain their lack of friends and being liked. You see in my opinion having few friends can be looked at in a two ways:
- You Have Few Friends Because YOU Choose It;
- You Have Few To NO Friends Because Nobody Likes You.
They way I strive to be build my life is with this philosophy:
Have Close Nit Circle of Friends And Be Well Liked And Respected By Many!
Why not! You can develop that if you choose too.
So from those folks that “nobody likes” there is something to learn from a failure of friends.
So I and you should ask also :
What do these people do to repeal so many people?
How do they act?
Here are a few things I have noticed and will point out about these loners:
- They talk badly about someone to others, and then go hangout with that person as if they are their best friend.
“ Yeah so&so is such a B***! I cant stand her..you know what she did…”
“Oh so&so of course! Lets hang out this weekend! I’m dying too see you!”
2. They are always devaluing your own accomplishments and speaking about how theirs are so much better.
“That’s cool about your companies bonus I guess…my company gave me a much bigger bonus…”
3. Talking way too much about themselves in a show off type of way
“So yeah like I have sooooo many friends and were just going to have like 3 weddings, 2 honeymoons and top notch all open bar”
“OMG like I cant walk down the street without a guy hollering at me. I have great legs, they just cant stop looking at me”
4.They do not acknowledge people
Scenario: Loner joins the rest of a dinner table full of people, by just sliding in and not saying hi to anyone and they leave without saying goodbye.
5. Are fair weather friends – Friends only when it is convenient to them.
6. Have a critique about everything you do!
7. When in a relationship they seclude everyone except their significant other.
Girlfriend/Boyfriend in town or they just got one = You are forgotten about.
8. Have no loyalty or appreciation. Have my fair share of these folks!
9. They are the “obnoxious drunk” or the extreme “stiffy” friend.
So your at the bar and everyone is drinking or dancing or sharing their steamy s*x stories, but that one clearly-not-religious friend of yours is Mr./Mrs. Closed.- ANNOYING! Why even go hang out??!!
Or you go out and they are the ones drinking & talking so loudly you start wondering if you are out with a friend or a little kid.
Many of have known or know people like this. Some even continue to give these people the time and day ! Why? Not sure, maybe because they feel bad which is a very noble thing to think or feel you are “helping” them. But I believe what makes relationships strong and friendships valuable is when someone can knock some sense in you and not just allow you to keep making the same mistakes. Sometimes the most noble and helpful thing you can do for someone is to bluntly show them the effects of their actions.