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Motherhood, People Skills, Personal Growth

One Trait We All Need To Teach Our Children

One Trait we all need to teach our children is Confidence. As kids it is winning in the playground and havng friends at lunch. As adults it translates to career success and sex appeal. What Is It And How Can You Get Some?  My response is  CONFIDENCE

If there is one skill I intend to cultivate in my children it being confident. Confidence gets you friends, gains you experience, keeps you focused, goal oriented and more importantly teaches you to respect your self.

Growing up neither Mark nor I were the kids who grew up in rich neighborhoods or had cool cars or clothes, but one thing we both had was confidence. Mark says he didn’t become confident until college when he stopped being shy and started to hangout with better people. I would consider myself as confident from an early age. My parents “shoved” me into swim lessons at age 3, dance and other “performance” type of activities. I may have been to young to remember my first puplic performances, but I attribute those moments to the fact that by 6th grade in elementary school I was able to run for class president and do a speech in front of my entire school body….. Confidence.

Confidence gets your kids the ability to say “no I am cool, don’t need to smoke weed”

“Nah I am not drinking tonight because I am driving home”

As adults confidence plays a role in your professional career and love life.

Don’t we all know that not so good looking guy or girl but they always
seem to date good looking and great people?

Ever think “man she’s too pretty for him” or vice versa?

When I was asked this question I quickly placed myself back to that
moment when I knew I was attracted to my husband. I asked myself what made me feel
attraction to them. Or I ask myself Hummmmm what Do I like about them?
What turns me on about them? What makes me want to see or talk to them
again? It was this thing called “sex appeal”

See you can meet a great person, intelligent good conversationalists,
kind, loving, etc but that don’t mean you want to get with them. Something about them doesn’t quite move you like

We can say they are somewhat confident but they don’t quite move you.
Lord knows I had met many men prior to Mark that were like this that leave me with the “eh”
feeling. I leave impressed about them, but that’s about it.

What was it about him or other people that just ooze sex appeal?

Again my only logical answer is their

Confident people are not afraid to point out their faults. If they have
messed up hair or teeth or a weird laugh, they are likely to point it out. They also point out things others would let slide like when you’re talking and you know
your not fully listening they would be the ones to say ” hey let’s
talk some other time because I can tell your not listening to me and I
rather talk when you can listen”
They are also the people who despite not having a perfect six pack
although that is welcomed and are usually never slobs can be
comfortable in their own skin and perform as if they were GQ model or Women with sex appeal would feel like they are a 36-24-36!IMG_20130629_194126

What does Confidence look like?    Like this————->  

hahaha ok you know I am favoring someone! But serioulsy here are some things

* It Walks With Purpose – When you enter a room do you have a destination? Do you know where you are headed? Or do you lollygag your way around and pause and walk and then turn around to where you entered?

* It Stands Tall– How is your body posture? Are you the hunch back of Norte Dame? Are your shoulders back, chin up? How you stand projects how you feel.

* It SMILES- Genuine, cheesy show me your teeth smile!

* It Makes Eye Contact – Not the creepy weirdo kind, but an intense “ I acknowledge you” look. Nothing turns me on more than a mans ability to look me in the eyes when I am talking and when he is talking to me!

* Wears Fashionable Clothing that “FITS” well- Cowboy boots, flip flops, suits, workout clothes, dressed, etc. Whatever it is, it is worn well and FITS not only physically but it fits who they are and what they do. Worst is someone who is NOT a beachbum pretend to be one or a wanna be 20 something year old who is really 50.

I can comfortably say that when I first met Mark he had all of the above and still does! That is why I married him!  Developing confidence within yourself is also possible. Learn to accept who you are and what you like first and not try to make yourself be someone you think others want to see. Loving and accepting yourself are the first signs of developing confidence.


Entrepreneur's Corner, People Skills, Personal Growth

How To Get What You Want

How to get what you want by suggesting things rather than by asking.

I was the baby in the family, so I had “baby” protection What does that mean? That everything you do is “ok” and you never get in trouble and more importantly …. I always got my way. Call it spoiled or whatever you want, but that’s just how it was and that type of childhood instilled in me a “Get what I want” attitude. Throughout my teenage years, college, entering good old corporate American and in pursuit of my own business that attitude remained, but it evolved from a snobby stubborn kid to a strategic and highly confident woman.
The “Get my way attitude” was applied on in many areas. I got accepted into my top choice university, always got the jobs I wanted, traveled where I wanted, dated the guys I wanted and well developed and founded the business projects I wanted… and still want.

This attitude though can be applied to things you want to accomplish, but what I am going to talk about here is how you apply it with dealing with those fun lil creatures who have major emotions and attitudes called… PEOPLE. How To Get What You Want

One way I learned was thru watching others who always seem to get what they wanted from people and also paid attention to how people I interacted with got me to do what they wanted! I was always floored by how some of my mentors always were able to get “yeses” or better yet just maneuver people to act and do what exactly what they wanted them to do.
I learned this skill in my businesses and in my dating life. I know it’s a funny comparison to say dating and my business taught me this, but the truth is it did.
You see, growing up with an ultra hard working-respect-my-mom-type of dad and an older brother who couldn’t be more disciplined and manly I looked for those traits in men. And in my dating extravaganza I met many more who were not vs. the ones who had a little more confidence and self assurance.
I paid attention to what I liked about certain men. What turned me on and what turned me off. Now I must admit many men were good on “paper” like all the facts about them were “perfect” almost like a baseball card! All their stats were great, but when it came up to bat they… Struck Out!
One of the most captivating actions a man could do and did to capture my attention was this method and skill I want to share with you. The interesting thing is that not only was it something I realized myself and many other women loved in a man, but it also helped me when I was a newbie sales person and entrepreneur.
Now let me share with you what I mean and h

ow this concept will not only completely change the amount of successful approaches you have with single women or even men ladies, but also can alter your status and your ability to add more value to yourself in this ever growing, changing and highly competitive market.
When I speak about successful approaches I am referring to all those attempts you have made at a bar, park, gym or grocery store picking up women that embarrassingly fail! You fail so bad you resort to lil penis syndrome where you are just scared to ever approach a woman. I don’t blame you, if I had that many rejecting experiences maybe I would be hesitant too. The great thing is it does not have to be that way.
It doesn’t have to be that way for your business either. If you own a business that relies on acquiring new clients, this concept I guarantee you will also revolutionize your success in your business.
Am I over confident?
Too good to be true?

Well all I have to say is this:
Adopt my “If it don’t kill ya, try it philosophy”.

And if it helps any, I’d like to share with you that almost 99% of the time if a man was clever and smart enough to try this he always got a yes from me in accepting a date.

And for my “Get R Done” entrepreneurs out there this concept almost always guaranteed a lead, referral, new client or opportunity to present my services.

Here it is….
Women do NOT like to be asked, instead they like to be influenced into a decision.

Now you can replace the word “women” to business owners, home buyers, people, patients, clients, etc. Basically whomever you are dealing with in a transaction.
Transaction of pleasure, dating, learning, selling… any exchange between one person and another.

Ok so in dating since we are all familiar with this here is an often too familiar scene of what I mean by the asking approach, failing.
It sounds like this:
“So hey umm do you maybe want to grab a bite to eat Thursday night? I know you work, but I was thinking we maybe if your not to tired we can meet up after work, do you want to meet up?

That’s very courteous of you to ask kindly, but you know what, it does not cut it!
Women do not respond to questions. People in general do not respond to questions. We do not know how to or what to answer.
We live in a society that from birth practically have things around us controlling are every thought. TV, video games, etc. and you expect for these people to make decisions for themselves?
It ain’t happening!
In seduction every women no matter how conservative or how big of a woman’s right advocate she is Looovvvessss to sometimes be tossed around and controlled and nudged into a decision she wants to make, but hates to admit it.

So to learn how to “nudge” people into an action try this:
Ok so now let us see how this influencing and nudging approach works for your business. When approaching a new client or looking to increase your business influence their decision by approaching them like this:

Hello Mr. Prospect. I would love to come over to share with you briefly ways where you can be more efficient, make more money, be better presented out there in the the marketplace. When would you have time for me to come by? Right now, I’m available Monday 3:00 Or Wednesday at 3:00.

Basically the key when approaching someone in a business setting is to figure out when they are free or have a little time for you without giving them the entire week or month as an option. I have learned that the less options you give people the more you get from them.

Have you ever asked someone “Are you free this week?” The normal response is “Oh I’m super busy, I am not sure” But if you ask “Hey are you free Tuesday evening or Friday evening?” They can usually tell you exactly if they are free or not and even give you specific times.
It’s funny but when people are given less to choose from or no choices at all…. They tend to go with what you present to them.

I hope that the examples I shared above help bring some insight or illustrate to you what this concept of getting your way by suggesting things rather than by asking.

Love & Marriage, People Skills, Personal Growth

The Dying Art Of Communication

I wasn’t alive nor did I experience those times when men used to serenate their women or where they formally asked the girl to be their girlfriend. Your thinking “Common Adriana, that’s some Brady Bunch sh*t! Were in 2010!” And yes I too also know how to check my calendar and know the date, thank you for the reminder.

What I want to point out and have realized about “2010” is the lack of verbal communication or shall I better state it as the transition from verbal communication to virtual communication.

It seems like the days when people would pick up the phone to talk to someone or invite them out to get to know them has been over shadowed by  an overwhelming need to use email, messaging or text messages instead of using your mouth to talk to people.

Now I’m not an anti-tech person, in fact I’m one of the biggest supporters of mass communication and technology.I am a self proclaimed geek. I welcome every bit of it and I am thankful for the people who invented these things to make are lives easier. God Bless Tech Geeeeekkkkkss!!!!

Question is does this ease bring breed misfortune?

Does it harm other areas of our lives without us even knowing??

I tweet in the morning, tweet in the evening, tweet, tweet, tweet and text, text, text. I think I can compete with the best of them when it comes to communicating via these channels, but more and more I have realized that the added convenience of communication has taken a huge hit on human to human contact and communication.

I have been guilty of texting or sending my roommate a private message asking them something when they are in the room next to me!! Hahaha you know you have done it also! Or maybe you wished someone a happy birthday via message and forgot to “call” them.

Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt and the hat!

The all mighty question is up to when? Or how much of this can you do before you feel like your best friend is the keyboard and your cell phone?

Or before you lose the art of making someone smile?

Or knowing how to start a conversation?

Or what to say to someone you care about?

If you start speaking more in “LOLs” “BRBs” or “SMH” then read on.

I have a lot to say about this subject and don’t intend to say it all in this first write up, but I will start with as a society we have become terrible “people-persons”

I don’t know if that’s grammatically correct if you haven’t figured out by my past writing English is not my forte and I haven’t hired someone to “clean” up my writing because frankly I don’t want to and don’t care to, so deal with it. ok so back to people being lame and not knowing how to interact.

See the human touch is powerful!

Remember that old saying “People make the world go round”????????????????

Despite all our cool statuses and tweets and places you visit if you find yourself doing all this “stuff” by yourself or the number of “followers” isn’t quite the number of people that show up to your birthday party or whom you would be able to call if you had car trouble and they would actually help pick you up then the all important question is: Does It All Really Matter??

Are you really enjoying yourself? And are you finding fulfillment in your life?

So bottom line is in Adriana’s words: Who gives a flying f*@$ if you are by yourself.

Im not suggesting we go to our neighbors hold hands and sing kumbaya. I am urging us to reflect a little on how much time, energy and effort we put into solidifying the current relationships we have in your life and ask ourselves if we have taken any steps in increasing our network.

For those of you who think “man I don’t need to have more friends, I’m cool I got Bret, Mike, Ted, Logan from Phi Sigma Gamma Wanna Sleep WithYa, I don’t need more friends” then I would like to explore this question more with you next time, so stay tuned and in the mean time go change your status, go LIKE me on Facebook.

And Tweet and Text about what you just read … hahaha 🙂

My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth

Do I Lack Confidence- How To Handle Sarcastic People

Many of you have secretly asked “Do I lack confidence?”. Why is it that I rather hide and not interact with people and prefer to stay to my self. Or maybe you find that you one have 1-2 people you socialize with. If this is the case you may lack confidence. But there is more to it and I will share one sure sign that you lack confidence if you react in a way that I will share.

A few days ago I asked “what makes someone a “jerk” and not liked while other “jerks” like TV personalities are admired? You ever notice how certain people adore TV personalities that one would describe as “jerks”  or “smart asses” such as Ari on Entourage, Gym teacher in Glee, the Vince Vaughns, but in real life these same people who are fanatic about these characters on TV do not like and get mad at similar personalities that happen to be their friends and a part of their real lives.

Why is it certain people appreciate sarcasm, truth and no bullshit on TV, but when it applies to them in real life they do not like it and get mad and hide?

Could it be that they lack confidence?    




A sure sign to know if you lack confidence in yourself is if you love watching these characters expose obvious things to other people and characters on TV, but if the Ari in their life ever points things out to them or of them… well they just run and hide

Why? I can only come up with one reason: Lack of confidence.

Knowing how to handle sarcastic people is a useful and helpful tool to help you gain more confidence. It is like a weight. The more you learn how to handle sarcasm the stronger and more confident you become. We all have been victims of sarcasm. I have many times been the center of being made fun of or people pointing out certain things about me. I have been made fun of or have been called on for something I did that may not have been the best. Or many a times have had the Vince Vaughns in my life point out the obvious about me. For example… I often times make mistakes on the proper pronunciation of words, or I walk with a very loud step or I am a control freak. My close friends that know me and know these things about me the “sarcastic” or “jerks” in my life…point it out. Often! My way of reacting is well to laugh. I know it’s true. I am a control freak. I do step loud as hell. English is my second language so I do make mistakes. If someone I know and care about and who more importantly I know they care about me points it out or makes fun of it, I simply don’t care and I acknowledge it and laugh it off.

How else should you react?
Should I get mad?

If the same happened to you what would you do?

For the men out there who played any type of organized sport whether in school, on the street or semi pro I do not need to be in the locker room or practice to know that all men do to each other all day is make fun of each other. To talk about how slow you were at running drills or maybe how you have big boobs and need to lose weight or possibly how your feet stink. The list can go on and on. These type of things are part of the game and also part of growing up.

*****VERY IMPORTANT: I am not promoting bullying. Bullying comes from people who DO NOT KNOW YOU. ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. WHO DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU and HOW HARASS YOU. If you feel you are being bullied contact someone you trust and of authority at your job, school or community.

I am talking about good old growing up! People who know you, like you, care about you, sweat & cry with you. Can you take a few not so positive comments from them?

I am not a mom yet, but I would teach my kids to learn how to handle a little sarcasm and the “jerks” they will have in their life. If my boy is tall and skinny you better believe I will teach him how to handle being called Jolly Green Giant! Or If my girl has curly hair like her momma you better believe I will teach her how to react and respond to people calling her frizz head.

How do you respond? How do you gain more confidence? ACKNOWLEDGE IT!

Say “yup I’m pretty dang tall aren’t I? Or maybe you are just short”

Say “Yeah my hair is a little wild today not behaving very well. It has a mind of its own and a zip code of its own”
I will share this story with you one night I was having dinner with a few friends one of which I have not seen in several years. This girl has the habit of completing your sentences for you. It’s like she will wait to hear the first 3 words of what you are going to say and then shout out the last 3! It is quite hilarious and she does it ALL the time…not even knowing! So myself and everyone else at that dinner table that night just openly pointed it out. We not only pointed it out, but every single time she did it we would all in unison yell out ” you just did it”. Then we began mocking her by us now being the ones that finished her sentences and everyone else’s sentences at that dinner table.

Question: How do you think the girl reacted?

Did she cry?
Was she upset at us and got up out of the table?
Did she say or think ” I don’t like them anymore…they are making fun of me”

Nope. She laughed. She laughed a lot.  And kept saying ” I really do that??” In disbelief and laughed and continued to joke with us.

Now having this type of reaction is not always the case. I have had many people in my life get mad or decide to avoid and hide. A guy I knew was dating a girl whose pronunciation was pretty bad on certain words properly. She had an accent nothing wrong with that so do I for certain words. So as a friend sometimes it would be pointed out or mocked. What was her reaction? Totally opposite of the previous girl! She took the opposite approach and got mad and decide to avoid and hide. Not only did she hide she just decided “we were no longer friends”.

Why is it some avoid and hide when people point out imperfections and or flaws in the, or there personality while others acknowledge it and laugh it off?

I believe it boils down to the magic word of CONFIDENCE.
I have met people who have imperfections in there body and honestly I could have hung out with them for years and never noticed until THEY point it out. Why? These people elude confidence and they do not let there imperfections hinder them.

Some of you may be saying “well Adriana not everyone is confident and can handle that so maybe those people should be left alone” I fancy this thought. Oh so some people are hanging out in the ocean on a raft that is sinking, but we should just leave them alone?? If you think taking a little bit of sarcasm is “tough”  you probably haven’t done or experienced much in life nor will you ever. The key here is being able to take truthful comments that are not intended to be hurtful. In fact the people who deliver the message are your FRIENDS. They are not people who purposely want to hurt you. When’s the last time someone so “evil” says “hummmmm let me be super mean and hurt this person soooo bad by ummm mocking the way my friend from Boston says ‘car'”?????  Really? That is hurtful and mean??

Common man!

So my point here is to remember that none of us are perfect and the sooner you start to accept that the sooner you will remove yourself from this avoidance of people. The sooner you will gain more confidence and the sooner you will live in truth. If you love truthful characters on TV and the big screen ask yourself if you really had a friend like that in real life would you appreciate there truthfulness or would you avoid them and hide?

People Skills

Art of Conversation With Women

Is there an Art to speaking to women? The Art of conversation with women..sure is! I didn’t have a typical “20 something” growing up experience. I didn’t go to college, I wasn’t in a sorority, I was never the chick that did keg stands and slept with guys whose names I didn’t know. In my early 20s I was traveling, living in different countries, running a business and oh yeah I wasn’t single, so I didn’t “date”. So much of my dating experience has come in the last years and well I now found a fun way for myself to share what I experience and what I learn because the “science” between men and women or men&men or women on women if that floats your boat, has always intrigued me and I find it fun & interesting.

Anyway a few days ago I shared my views on The Dying Art Of Communication .Today I want to share how this misfortune has also changed the dating game.

When I was single and dating I would meet many men in NYC. In fact, I do have to give it up to the city boys I tend to have much more human interaction. What I mean is that a man in the city is more likely to say “hey meet me in a few for a drink” basically they are more inclined to want to meet you for some face to face time. Now I don’t know if it’s because the ease of being surrounded by blocks and blocks of neat places to sit and grab a drink or the fact that cell phone service is crappy all over this island, either way they are more likely to suggest face to face time. But, let it be clear that they are not exempt from this annoyance and sad reality of the dying art of communication in dating.

At one point I used to be bombarded by men I meet, good looking, seem competent, have their shit together but man oh man all they want to do is TEXT!


It’s so annoying! I’m thinking can you just pick up the damn phone and talk to me if you care to chat or stop being cheap and unconfident and just ask me out for coffee! I’m not asking for a 5 star dinner, coffee or water bottles and a picnic table by the beach will do! Here is how “Text Massaging”  is defined on…


Webster Dictionary


Urban Dictionary

A way for teens to breakup with each other.

Most often performed by teenage girls, these messages often include such front page news as: “OMG did U C her @ss? Itz HGE”

I would like to point out the word “short” and “teenage girls”

I welcome text messages, in fact I send out a ton! However when the messages sent out turn into a tennis match or question and answers that last a long time, that’s when I just have to stop it and say “ok I’m done texting, just call me”

Ladies and gents, did we forget how to use that little thing we call a mouth??

There are tons of ways to use it and alllllll are very important.

We use it to eat delicious foods, drink, kiss, munch, nibble, suck and well…TALK.

And what is it with guys asking to send them a picture?? Did you forget how I look already? Or do you want it to show off to your friends? I swear the next guy who ask me to send him a pictures is gonna get a funny surprise! Hahahaha

But seriously if you want it so bad, then shit take one of me when we see eachother. I don’t get it, I really don’t.

Then something else I find quite fascinating is when men and women “text date”  or known on the streets as Text Fishing. Yup Gone fishin!

This is when a guy/girl sends out a casual text message to a list of people they would like to hook up with and see who “bites”. To start up a possible chance to hook up. Ahh technology has really made dating interesting, entertaining and creative. And you know you have done this!! Don’t deny it! Caught! Hahaha.

Here are a few of my fave text messages that are fun to send out or receive.

  1. 1. Sextmessage- the sms version of phone/cyber sex. This is very mind stimulating and fun. Helps ya get out of a quick rut you may be having. Ideal for the 9to5 time slot.


  1. 2. Drunxter –texting equivalent of habitual drunk dialing. Rather than calling everyone in their contact list when drunk, a drunxter sends numerous text messages. Twitter has made this one really fun to watch!


  1. 3. Text Mess provides you with too much information, but always welcomed to know and find out!

Will I continue to text? Absolutely! Should you? Absolutely!

All I’m suggesting is to ask; “How did we stray so far away from what makes human beings, human “Be-ings”?”

Maybe I’m a helpless romantic, but how did we lose our human touch? We have emotions. We have feelings. We like to laugh, be touched, and be acknowledged.

Make an attempt to use your gift of communication to talk and connect with another human being, don’t allow yourself to rely so much on text to do the connecting for you, it will never be as good.

If you want to network and meet better people come hang out with us on FACEBOOK

My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth

You Can’t Photoshop Your Personality

Money can buy nearly everything except for true love, meaningful relationships, and that something we all are in search of… Happiness.
Some people or companies try hard…real hard to sell you that they can make you happy, but deep down inside it is a lot more complex and unique than it coming in a box. Truth is you can’t Photoshop your personality.
Today’s post isn’t too deep and esoteric of a topic as happiness, but it is an important one. It is one that I believe makes life more enjoyable and one that helps you create a better life. It is about something you take with you everywhere. It gives people a reason to create a judgement about you and decide whether or not they like you, want to date you, hire you or marry you!
It’s your personality! And it cannot be photoshopped! But it can be fixed and if you need professional help, Well I take it back…money can help you to learn how to develop yours into something worth hanging out with just hang out and be coached by me!

If you don’t like your boobs you can buy new ones!
If you look fat, you can take away inches!
If your not very worldly you can learn and educate yourself more
I can go on and on about things we can quickly change cosmetically and women and men do it all the time.
But did you know the one thing you can’t physically change is the one that can get you the most results in life?
More friends, more dates, better relationships and more success?

That is true, you can’t photoshop that ugly personality. Ahh the little thing called a personality!
Ugh have I met some stanky ones, stale ones, desperate ones and just plain boooooring!
Signs you may need a personality make over

1. You still only have the same 4 friends from the neighborhood or college
2. Your at a dead end job
3. You find it hard to carry a conversation with someone and actually prefer that people don’t talk to you.
4. You give one word answers when someone tries to ask you a question
5. Around a group of people you tend to not talk to anyone and cling on to the one friend you do know or the arm of your boy/girlfriend.

If you are guilty of any of the above then I suggest you take into consideration how to be friendlier, funner, and just simply to learn the skill of conversation and rapport.
This skill alone can transform your life!

People Skills

The Three Online Dating Profile Pictures You Need

Online dating? Sure, why not! For a lot of you a new year means a new you! A new relationship. A new experience. A new online dating profile. Why the hell not!

The Three Online Dating Profile Pictures You Need

Well if you are going to venture to online dating (and yes people I did have a few profiles out there) you better do it right! Watch the video so you learn the three online dating profile pictures you need. The picture speaks loud and very, very loudly. So here are the three online dating profile pictures you need to have on your online dating profile. How to have a great online dating profile. It starts with pictures! Welcome to the new age. Yes although I prefer to meet people in person today there are many sites that can serve as great tools and resources to help you meet more singles. So watch the video below and take into action my tips.

Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth

7 Habits of Unsuccessful People

Is there such a thing as habits of unsuccessful people? Well recently during a conversation I was reminded about the importance of time management. It feels like a century ago, that I used to be the type of person who needed to be reminded that I should have goals and things I want to accomplish for the week. At one point in my life, I had to learn how to prioritize things and be able to multitask. Today, being organized, having goals and successfully running several business & careers is hate to sound conceded but almost like second nature. But again, it was NOT always like that. One of the books I read that helped me become the person I am today was Steven Coveys 7 Habits of Highly Successful People well here are 7 Habits of Unsuccessful People…

I can say it is almost foreign to come across and hangout with or even talk to people who have nothing going for themselves or what I deem to be “unsuccessful”. Most everyone I know has their sh*** together either working at a company that they enjoy, excelling at their career or education and or growing a business. And mind you what I mean by this is that these people are actively working on all this. They are not millionaires or bazillionaires, to me that’s awesome, but even working towards what you like in my opinion is a success! So what do I label as unsuccessful?   Well here are some common characteristics I believe unsuccessful people share I like to call it the 7 Habits of Unsuccessful People:


  1. 1. They have a bad attitude.

Its as simple as “whatever your mind believes, it achieves” So if your mind is constantly negative or thinking the world is against you, then it is clear to see why things just never seem to work out for you.


  1. 2. They think “poor me”

This is an attitude of pitty. These people are usually ones to think “why does all the bad stuff happen to me” or often times these people feel no one likes them or no one wants to help them. They remind me of a helpless frail dog. Often these are the same folks talking about how because they grew up in certain place or because of their sex or race they aren’t successful.


  1. 3. Have no purpose or goals

Did you ever as a kid play with big leafs and pretend they were boats? You ever see how they drift and have no real direction? That is what these people act and are like. They kind of just “go with the flow”. If you were to ask them what they are doing tomorrow or this weekend or anything they probably do not have a solid answer. It is always “I don’t know”. If you ask them what they like to do or their thoughts on things; they “don’t know” or have no opinion.

  1. 4. Always do just enough, never more.


Simple enough. Successful people stretch to do more and be more. Unsuccessful people just do enough. Whether it is as simple as cleaning their room to getting their life together. It is all the same. Their attitude of “just enough” keeps them unsuccessful


  1. 5. They are usually very messy

I once learned that people who are messy in their homes and who have messy cars, usually always have messy businesses, lives and relationships. So far, so true. I don’t believe I have ever met a messy successful person.



  1. 6. They think they know everything

These are the people who rarely listen and are not open to learn anything knew. You tell them or offer a suggestion and they respond with “oh I know” and do not listen fully to what you were attempting to share with them.


  1. 7. Always wake up late and have no plans for their days


Now don’t get me wrong I LOVE to sleep in…but to do it everyday?! Come’on now! Grow up and get with it. Having no plan for the day…everyday is just the biggest warning flag for disaster. When you are excited about life have goals and things you want to achieve you usually find yourself eager to get up and start working on those things. So if you find yourself not being in the mood to wake up, it probably has more to do with your ambition than the fact that you feel “tired”


If you find yourself just loligagging around, “oh hem hum let it slide” then I suggest you pick up some books, courses or sometimes even a friend. A friend who has a lifestyle or a way of looking at life that you can learn from and is willing to teach you (because most people could care less about you) then snatch them up and appreciate them for caring enough to share with you or tell you when your screwing up and how you can become better.

Have anymore habits to add? Let me know Here!



My Thoughts, People Skills

Dating Is Like A Job Interview

Dating is like a job interview and we all have had one. A few years back a cousin of mine went thru this time period where she was dating a lot and God bless her for it! The girl was smart about it and met a lot of guys and well did what I think many people do not do: Date.

Dating to me is an interview process.

If you’ve ever worked for a large company you know that they don’t jump into bed with you after the first interview. If your only taste of the workforce is dead-end low paying jobs then yes I stand corrected they DO jump right in and hire you before testing you out, but again a legitimate company with a name to uphold, millions of dollars at stake and who produce great results or amazing products, those companies do not just jump right in and hire someone. They treat the culture of the company and employees as something sacred.

So for those of you who are trust fund babies, born entrepreneurs from age 10 and or never stepped it up to go after a job with a large company then let me share with you how the process works.
You have to have a stellar resume to land your first interview and if your first interview goes well, then they schedule a 2nd , 3rd and possibly 4th interview for the exact same job position.
At each stage of the interview process they introduce you to new people usually management and if that management likes you then they introduce you to the next.

It all happens as a process and little by little. Now people keep in mind this is for a job! Now in dating which to me is and should be treated like an interview process, what happens to us about that something so sacred and special called your family and friends? Why is it that so many of us who start dating fail to be as selective with who we date and who we introduce our friends and family to that we just bored around and allow some chic or dude your dating distort the harmony in your friends and family??

Companies take interviewing and adding someone new to their “family” seriously because they know how important it is to hire someone of value. Someone who will add great chemistry to the existing group and not be the cancer.
If companies are so protective of their culture why aren’t you with your culture of friends and family?

To me the guy I was going to be known to be “dating” was superrrrrr important that the following things happen:

1. I Have To Like Him and Be Totally Into Him—-> HE, has to like me and be totally into me!

2. My Family Has To Approve and Like Him—-> HE BETTER like my family & be on his best d*mn behavior

3. My Friends Have To Like and Get Along With Him—-> HE BETTER like my friends and respect them.


4. We have to have similar spiritual beliefs, morals, etc all that other stuff that is important in a relationship!


If those 4 things are good, then to me it is like “hiring” time which I then proceed to turn it into an exclusive relationship. I would suggest that your introduce the potential “BF/GF” little by little and I usually recommend them meeting your family last.

A huge dating FAIL is when people just override and skip what I consider the 4 essentials and just date someone who:

1. ISN’T Totally Into You —-> They can’t shut up about how OTHER guys/girls are hotter than you

2. Your Family Is Indifferent or Doesn’t Like Them—> Some people are not close to their family, i could see why this wouldn’t matter to them

3. The person you are dating DOES NOT like your friends and your friends DO NOT get along with them—-> I believe good friends want the best for you so if they openly tell you they don’t like the person you are dating there is a major reason why. I don’t think friends sit around and hope for their friends never to date.

4. Bad Chemistry… enough said.

Why is it that some people fail to realize that when you make someone exclusive and date them… They end up having to date your friends & family too!

If the culture of your friends has been spring break trips, weekly dinners and get-togethers with no drama, no awkwardness why the F would you not protect it or give a small shit about maybe considering how your BF/GF effects it??

There is truth in numbers. If 1-2 people don’t like who you have forced upon them to like then hey maybe those people are picky and illogical and not giving your bf/gf a chance. However, of this extends beyond that then why are you forcing upon what at one time was sacred someone who clearly is a cancer in your family and

It is sad to see when men really do chose “Hoes before bros” or women we can be just as guilty of being exclusive with someone who doesn’t add value to you and who doesn’t mesh with your friends.

Now the question is: Is the issue your friends or the person you are dating?

My fondest wish for you is to remember that when you date it’s an interview. You don’t have to introduce the chick or guy you just me to your family of friends right away in fact I’ve gone on several dates with tons of guys that never ever met any of my friends. They just didn’t cut it, I knew I didn’t want to be serious with them so I just didn’t bother bringing them around my friends or family. These guys were good enough for me to spend some time with, hang out with and entertain myself, but not good enough to make it to round two “interviews”.

Interview process is fun! Enjoy it and make sure you “hire” the right one! 🙂

Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts, People Skills, Relationships

What Is An Ass Kisser

What is an ass kisser? When someone says to you “why are you kissing their ass?” What exactly does that mean? Take a few minutes and read with me as we explore what an ass kisser is and if you are one or not.

You may have been the kid who bullies used to say “Oh you’re an ass kisser” or maybe you were taunted with “why are you kissing their ass?” The “ass kisser” when I was growing up was the kid who was nice to his teacher. The “ass kisser” in grade school was the kid who would bring in little gifts (mostly home made by their mother) to the teacher.

As adults, many (negative & immature) adults continue to use that word. They call the coworker who always greets their boss in the mornings with a “good morning” or the one who speaks to the human resources manager in a very polite and friendly way, the “ass kisser”. The employee who always shares his opinion, who volunteers to do things and who acts courteous to his coworkers, that employee is usually called by fellow employees the “ass kisser”.

But what really is an “ass kisser”?

Is it really that being kind and having something called…. MANNERS makes you an ass kisser? I think not! I think this phrase has been misused for years and the true “ass kissers” are under the radar.

You see in life people liking you and being kind, generous and having manners and etiquette can really get you far. Just pick up a few autobiographies and I can guarantee you that they probably acted in what the negative, immature society calls “ass kisser” type of way.

Haven’t you noticed that most people who say “thank you” and give other people compliments and say “good morning” to others… end up far ahead of everyone else?

Haven’t you noticed these people usually are the ones who have more friends, end up getting better jobs or promotions at existing jobs and are well liked by others?

People make the world go round and if you lack the ability or understanding of how important it is for people to like you and win people over then I hate to break it to you, but you are just destined to a life of rough up hill battles.
Crappy dead end jobs, negative friends, live in a poor neighborhoods and continue to have less and less meaningful relationships in your life. Again, my thoughts are QUALITY over QUANTITY.

If you do not have many people you can count;
You have been stuck at a dead end job;
It is hard for you to get a promotion or a raise;
You tend to be the one NOT invited anywhere;
Or you just simply have a stinky attitude, then I suggest you learn to be a better “ass kisser”.

When I come across “non ass kissers” I can’t help but feel sorry for them. They have this attitude of “the world is against me and F people”. What a sad way to live.

Who are the non ass kissers??
You can usually identify them by:

– They do not acknowledge other people. Walk into a house without saying hi to anyone or walk into their office and slump into their desk;
– They are unfamiliar with the word “Thank You”
– They have little to no real friends
– They are unable to have a conversation with someone.
– Are usually single or have “sex” partners. Aka a sex only relationship.
– Do not have things go their way.
– Usually get screwed over and can not get favors done for them.

So why do I think “ass kissers” have been mislabeled?

Because to me a true “ass kisser” is: someone who continues to be nice and polite to someone AFTER the fact that person has lied to them, disrespected them, scammed them or intentionally try to hurt them in any way. If you are STILL nice and cordial to people like that, then YOU ARE AN ASS KISSER! But do not confuse someone who is smart with their networking ability or who simply is generous and polite as an ass kisser…. that is two separate worlds.

I know a few people who have had all of the above happen to them. They were scammed. Scammed so obviously like those old Nigerian chain letter scams and not out of $10 or $100, but thousands!

One guy I knew gave another so called “successful investor” $80,00! Yes people $80,000 for his so called “investments”. You know typical “gold mines”, “hotel deals” Nigerian scam type of things. The guy NEVER got any substantial documentation of the “investment” any follow up.. nothing. It was like puff the magic dragon his money had no trace other than the initial deposit made into the “successful investors” account.  A whole year later still no word or trace of this investment and all the hopeful investor is getting in return is a $200 a month “shut-up” fee and that of course the “successful investor” is still his friend. So the guy that gave him the money to invest is still corgidal with the guy he knowingly was scammed by. Others have been lied to and intentionally hurt. And they KNOW the person/people who did this and what do they do?? KISS THEIR ASS.

Continue to be nice, find and friendly. See the last health company I was a marketing representative for is full of people at the top who intentially lie, cheat and steal. Including the owner. This guy has a history and track record that spans years of people and multitudes of people he has purposely screwed over. Screwy things like: Lie, steal, cheat, take their business away, fire them from their job for no reason, etc. I can go on for days.  The minute I discovered these things my kindness subsided and well to say the least I wasn’t and have not been quiet about it. I am just not the “sweep it under the rug person” others the “ass kisser” not only sweep it under the rug, but act as if nothing has happened.  I do not understand how there can still be  people involved and supportive even after knowing these type of things have been done and are being done.

See my friends that to me is an “Ass Kisser”. Do you agree with me?

So again, this little fun phrase we throw around casually, I would hope that this post shared a little insight and further look at what an ass kisser really is. We are not in the 5th grade people! Life is about being kind to people and getting ahead. If you’re the type of loser who calls people who have manners and etiquette and are smart “ass kissers” it just shows you immaturity and well how far down the people chain you are. The world my friends is ruled by people who know how to and whose ass to kiss the best. It’s the truth whether you like it or not. All I ask is you kiss peoples ass who haven’t lied, stolen or cheated you. Stand up for something and start kissing the right peoples asses. 🙂