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Dating women

Motherhood, People Skills, Personal Growth

One Trait We All Need To Teach Our Children

One Trait we all need to teach our children is Confidence. As kids it is winning in the playground and havng friends at lunch. As adults it translates to career success and sex appeal. What Is It And How Can You Get Some?  My response is  CONFIDENCE

If there is one skill I intend to cultivate in my children it being confident. Confidence gets you friends, gains you experience, keeps you focused, goal oriented and more importantly teaches you to respect your self.

Growing up neither Mark nor I were the kids who grew up in rich neighborhoods or had cool cars or clothes, but one thing we both had was confidence. Mark says he didn’t become confident until college when he stopped being shy and started to hangout with better people. I would consider myself as confident from an early age. My parents “shoved” me into swim lessons at age 3, dance and other “performance” type of activities. I may have been to young to remember my first puplic performances, but I attribute those moments to the fact that by 6th grade in elementary school I was able to run for class president and do a speech in front of my entire school body….. Confidence.

Confidence gets your kids the ability to say “no I am cool, don’t need to smoke weed”

“Nah I am not drinking tonight because I am driving home”

As adults confidence plays a role in your professional career and love life.

Don’t we all know that not so good looking guy or girl but they always
seem to date good looking and great people?

Ever think “man she’s too pretty for him” or vice versa?

When I was asked this question I quickly placed myself back to that
moment when I knew I was attracted to my husband. I asked myself what made me feel
attraction to them. Or I ask myself Hummmmm what Do I like about them?
What turns me on about them? What makes me want to see or talk to them
again? It was this thing called “sex appeal”

See you can meet a great person, intelligent good conversationalists,
kind, loving, etc but that don’t mean you want to get with them. Something about them doesn’t quite move you like
that.

We can say they are somewhat confident but they don’t quite move you.
Lord knows I had met many men prior to Mark that were like this that leave me with the “eh”
feeling. I leave impressed about them, but that’s about it.

What was it about him or other people that just ooze sex appeal?

Again my only logical answer is their
confidence.

Confident people are not afraid to point out their faults. If they have
messed up hair or teeth or a weird laugh, they are likely to point it out. They also point out things others would let slide like when you’re talking and you know
your not fully listening they would be the ones to say ” hey let’s
talk some other time because I can tell your not listening to me and I
rather talk when you can listen”
They are also the people who despite not having a perfect six pack
although that is welcomed and are usually never slobs can be
comfortable in their own skin and perform as if they were GQ model or Women with sex appeal would feel like they are a 36-24-36!IMG_20130629_194126

What does Confidence look like?    Like this————->  

hahaha ok you know I am favoring someone! But serioulsy here are some things

* It Walks With Purpose – When you enter a room do you have a destination? Do you know where you are headed? Or do you lollygag your way around and pause and walk and then turn around to where you entered?

* It Stands Tall– How is your body posture? Are you the hunch back of Norte Dame? Are your shoulders back, chin up? How you stand projects how you feel.

* It SMILES- Genuine, cheesy show me your teeth smile!

* It Makes Eye Contact – Not the creepy weirdo kind, but an intense “ I acknowledge you” look. Nothing turns me on more than a mans ability to look me in the eyes when I am talking and when he is talking to me!

* Wears Fashionable Clothing that “FITS” well- Cowboy boots, flip flops, suits, workout clothes, dressed, etc. Whatever it is, it is worn well and FITS not only physically but it fits who they are and what they do. Worst is someone who is NOT a beachbum pretend to be one or a wanna be 20 something year old who is really 50.

I can comfortably say that when I first met Mark he had all of the above and still does! That is why I married him!  Developing confidence within yourself is also possible. Learn to accept who you are and what you like first and not try to make yourself be someone you think others want to see. Loving and accepting yourself are the first signs of developing confidence.

 

Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts

Why Men Who Work Hard Are Attractive To Women

Why Men Who Work Hard Are Attractive To Women. Who go to work. Who fix things and drill and kill bugs when we see them. It’s in our nature. I didn’t write the human code or our DNA or talk to Adam and Eve about their issues, I just know it’s a fact of life and it’s a fact of male and women tendencies.  I am so thankful that my husband is one of those men. I grew up around a laboror man.. my father is the hardest working man I know! This man cannot just sit around. He knows how to relax, but prefers to be doing something. He helps around the house without hesitation …always. Recently we had to have a tree removed from our yard… my dad and Mark came to the rescue. I tried telling them to just hire someone, but bought hesitated to accept and decided to just do it  themselves. 20150107_115427

Women are made to give. They are adaptable and they love to please others. Women are always asking “what can I do for my man?” Women are thinking about the little things to do for you. The little notes to plant in your pockets. The dinners and romantic evenings she planned for the two of you. Basically all the things you as a man probably overlook and never gave a shit about! Hahaha. Women need to feel safe and they love acknowledgement! The “thank you” the “that dinner was amazing!” Not to get too much into it, because this article is about how women love men who labor, but to narrow it down to two fundamental needs a women has is acknowledgement and the sense of feeling “safe”.

As a man, how do you make a woman feel safe? Is it that you parade around like a bodyguard when you’re out in public? NO! I mean don’t get me wrong no woman wants to date a pansy, someone who can’t stand up for themselves or someone that wouldn’t confront a rude man who is trying to cause problems.

What I’m talking about is this,
The most important “safety” a woman cares about and needs is that the man she is with will always assume the role of the “Hunter”. Back in the days it literally was that, the men hunted and they brought home the food and items that would be used for shelter and survival. Obviously the tables have turned and there is no need for you to walk in to your home grabbing the fish by its head, but the “hunter” in you must be present.

menatwork

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By hunting I mean, going out there and working. Producing. Cultivating. Improving your and your future partners life. Women despite the change in roles we have seen in this last century with many women hitting the work place and many times earning more income than their mates, still the inner desire and need to feel “safe” stems back to the man assuming the role as a “provider”.
Don’t buy into the hoop-la of “Independent woman” stuff. See a woman WILL and CAN be independent, but even if she is and needs nothing from you economically, KNOWING that you can be the provider if needed is exactly what every woman wants to know.

So men, get off your ass and step up your game.

On this LABOR day ask yourself what are you “LABORing” on. How are you creating value for yourself? Are you acquiring a new skill? Are you planning for the future? Are you increasing your network? All these are things that increase your value.

If you’re a conservative reading this article, you may ask “well what happened to the more important things like trust, love and understanding?” I never said those were not important, but keep in mind a woman can have that and find that with her best friend or some family member. The workings of a great relationship between male and female long term must also fulfill the female needs and prove that the man she is with can and will “take care” of her.

Then there are the men who think women are “gold diggers!” that is an insecure man’s way of thinking. He is thinking “oh she is going to use me” and if your dumb and don’t stand for yourself then a woman with bad intentions would use you, and who’s fault is that? Yours! Not the girls. You as a man also set your parameters and remember that ultimately you can never buy love. You can buy purses and vacations and jewelry, but never lust or love. If you turn her on you turn her on because of your energy with her not what you buy her. What you buy will only at best provide decent sex and a complain to hang out with you until she finds someone better. If that’s all your looking for then go ahead keep it up. If not, you must not rely on your finances alone.
Let me finish by telling you this. Men are like Cars. All have an engine, 4 tires, doors and if it’s a working car it turns on and drives. A woman shops around first by her emotion, what looks and smells good to her. Basically what turns her on sexually. After that, to keep her you must show you can be reliable and go the distance. The less you show her this the less she wants to “ride”. Your sex life diminishes your intimacy level decrease and next thing you know she will start telling you its ladies night every weekend!

So on LABOR day and all others Go To Work and like my favorite comedian Russell Peters says “Be-A-Man” these fundamental instincts we have are exactly that, fundamental despite the changes in society and our times women and men will continue to have basic fundamental needs.

Love & Marriage, Relationships

How To Keep Intimacy Fun And Exciting

How do you keep intimacy fun and exciting. Do you find yourself thinking “missionary… again!??” People may argue with me, but the number one sign a relationship is going bad or is already at the point of reconciliation is when your love life gets bad. However, even while it is good there are still many things you can do to make sure you keep it alive. This can be a very personal matter for couples most do not like to talk about it, but I feel it is something that should be addressed and not neglected. Often times we think it will “just be good”. There are many dynamics of course that determine the awesomeness of your love life with your partner and in this post I will only share the physical things we do have control over. I have complied a few tips from many couples that have successful loving and happy relationships and here are some things they do to keep their loved ones yearning for the next romp session!

1. Snap Out of the Routine
If you find yourself getting it on at the exact same time and the exact same part of the week or month for your sex starved readers… then snap out of it! This time initiate a romp session at a different time or day. If Friday nights are the once a week you get it on with your partner why not sneak them in the room on a Wednesday night. These types of actions will not only keep your loved one in suspense and guessing, but will be very healthy for your relationship. “One of my favorite things my husband does is the minute I walk into the house he comes over begins to kiss me all over my neck and little by little leads me into the hallway and next thing you know were engaged in a full on love making session….” – anonymous contributor.

2. Make Out Sessions
A great friend of mine shared with me this tip and little action that I believe is often overlooked and very much enjoyed especially by women. Foreplay!! Having your make out session last longer and then doing the dirty just makes it so much better! Too many times love making becomes a task for people. Like I seriously think some couples think “humm well its been about a week I guess we should be making love if were a good couple… ok take your clothes off…” come one!! The intensity make out sessions provoke is almost irresistible! So next time before rushing into things, take it a little slow, and appreciate each other and every part of them.

3. Props

What would a movie be without music? What would a house be without furniture? Now please pay attention to this one: You HAVE to know your partner. This is not a tip or suggestion that works for everyone. Some people just do not like flavored oils, toys or costume get ups. There is only one way to find out. Keep in mind to be open to the out of the box “props” you may be thinking of. Let your imagination and the creative side of you take over. Maybe you show up with his favorite team jersey on or one day you have silk gloves if you know your partner is ticklish… who knows! The point is don’t be stuck in a box and venture a little bit and have fun!

Love & Marriage, Relationships

Words Of Appreciation

We all know that there are words of appreciation, but are there certain actions to show appreciation?
I_Love_You_Note_Appreciation-300x225

If I could single handedly blame one reason why relationships that at one point were great, completely turn negative it would be exactly this, a loss of appreciation from both parties.

I have witnessed many relationships both intimate, friendships and business relationships go completely sour when one party fails to maintain respect and appreciation for the other. I remember learning a few years back “people do not have to do things for you”. Here is one example we can all relate to; a birthday party. No one has to go. So why throw one and why attend? People go because they choose to. Why? You appreciate that person and want to make sure you show them. Well on the flip side, if you choose not to attend and you make this a habit of never attending your friends parties or things that they throw then soon enough you will find yourself alone because people will have seen that you really do not care to make time for them and neither will they.

In my relationship, I always make a conscious effort to thank my fiance verbally when he does things for me and I also make an effort to show him through actions I appreciate him. So what can you do today, to show the person you are with that you love them and appreciate them? Here are a few of the things I like to do and that he does to make me feel like a queen!

Cuddle Time
There isn’t anything I enjoy more it is the cuddle time I get to spend and get from my fiance. Regardless of how busy or stressful your day may have been, cuddling is like asprin, it can cure everything! Make time to enjoy each other.

Cook For Them
So maybe you are not the best cook! Who cares! Nothing shows I care more than preparing something for your loved one. It can be a smoothie for gosh sakes! Throw a bunch of fruit, juice and ice and blend that baby! Or simply pouring a glass of wine. Preparing something and “serving” your other half sends major “I care about you” signals.

Your Partner Is NOT A Mind Reader

This may be the hardest for people to achieve because most people were raised not to be expressive and openly share their thoughts and feelings. I come from a very touchy feely family and my personality is very expressive, so I admit it is the hardest for me to see why people cannot be expressive. Nonetheless, your partner needs to know and be reminded that you like, love, care or think about them. Whether you say it verbally or write it in a note, just do it and genuinely mean it. I tell my partner almost every morning when I wake up and my head is laying on his shoulder that I love him. Often times I find myself receiving a peck on the forehead and him saying the same to me…. I tell you that makes me melt!! Men, forehead kisses is where it is at!

Friendships are simple. Business partnerships are simple. Love is a simple thing too. If you appreciate what is in your life and what people do for you, you will always find yourself surrounded by people who show you the same.
What are some things you, your significant other or a friend does to you that shows you appreciation? Please share with us!

Health & Fitness

Healthy Holiday Eating

Healthy holiday eatings, is it possible? The holidays are a great time to reconnect with old friends, see family and meet new people! All three are excellent if you are single and dating. If Aunt Martha sees you again, maybe she can introduce you to her friends cute grandson…maybe your coworkers from the neighboring office catch you eye and you two connect over cocktails. They can be great, but can also be a huge trap for gaining weight and in dating looking and feeling your best are very crucial. You may think it is impossible not to gain weight during this time, but I am here to tell you that eating healthy this holiday season IS possible. Here are a few Health Tips to help you maintain your weight and Survive thru the Holidays….     

THIS is NOT a DIET

  • Small Adjustments make a HUGE Difference.
  • Correct Choices Vs. a Strict Diet.
  • Portion Control is the key.

 

Eating Out….

 

  • Ask server not to bring Rolls and Chips to your table
  • Choose dishes that comprise of Lean Meats, Fish and Vegtables. Avoid Rice and other starches
  • Opt for Sauce and salad dressing on the side.
  • Share a dish with someone or ask for a take out box right away and save half for next days lunch.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for substitutions: Baked potato instead of fries, steamed vegetable instead of rice.
  • Avoid “Empty” Calories. cheese, sour cream, butter, and mayonnaise…add hot sauce and mustard to add flavor but not calories.

 

While at Work…..

  • Always have a water available at your desk.
  • Avoid mindless eating by having healthy snacks on hand like fruit or pretzles.
  • Pack your own lunch. This saves you belly rolls and money!

 

Company Holiday Party…. Open Bar…

  • Those “FREE” margaritas are going to cost you…. big time!
  • Opt for a glass of Red or White wine
  • Drink Light Beer…
  • Like mixed drinks?  DIET soda or club soda mixed drinks, avoid fruit juice based drinks.
  • Bloody Mary… tomato juice is a great antioxidant and the Tabasco sauce kicks up your metabolism.

Families Feast….

  • You don’t want to make aunt Cindy feel bad for not eating her food….so..
  • Fill your plate with WHITE meat, avoid Dark meat and vegetables & add a little scoop of mashed potato.
  • Or Get a smaller plate
  • Eat Pumpkin pie Vs. Pecan or Candied yams.
  • Lastly… just remember its only ONE Day.. so don’t beat yourself up and enjoy!

 

 

Busy Schedule…” I forgot to eat”

  • Never Skip Breakfast… take 3mins to make oatmeal, a fruit smoothie or eat a breakfast bar.
  • Always carry healthy snacks with you like: Fruits, Almonds, baby carrots.

Pre-plan your meals… have an idea of what your going to eat.

 

 

My Thoughts, People Skills

Dating Is Like A Job Interview

Dating is like a job interview and we all have had one. A few years back a cousin of mine went thru this time period where she was dating a lot and God bless her for it! The girl was smart about it and met a lot of guys and well did what I think many people do not do: Date.

Dating to me is an interview process.

If you’ve ever worked for a large company you know that they don’t jump into bed with you after the first interview. If your only taste of the workforce is dead-end low paying jobs then yes I stand corrected they DO jump right in and hire you before testing you out, but again a legitimate company with a name to uphold, millions of dollars at stake and who produce great results or amazing products, those companies do not just jump right in and hire someone. They treat the culture of the company and employees as something sacred.

So for those of you who are trust fund babies, born entrepreneurs from age 10 and or never stepped it up to go after a job with a large company then let me share with you how the process works.
You have to have a stellar resume to land your first interview and if your first interview goes well, then they schedule a 2nd , 3rd and possibly 4th interview for the exact same job position.
At each stage of the interview process they introduce you to new people usually management and if that management likes you then they introduce you to the next.

It all happens as a process and little by little. Now people keep in mind this is for a job! Now in dating which to me is and should be treated like an interview process, what happens to us about that something so sacred and special called your family and friends? Why is it that so many of us who start dating fail to be as selective with who we date and who we introduce our friends and family to that we just bored around and allow some chic or dude your dating distort the harmony in your friends and family??

Companies take interviewing and adding someone new to their “family” seriously because they know how important it is to hire someone of value. Someone who will add great chemistry to the existing group and not be the cancer.
If companies are so protective of their culture why aren’t you with your culture of friends and family?

To me the guy I was going to be known to be “dating” was superrrrrr important that the following things happen:

1. I Have To Like Him and Be Totally Into Him—-> HE, has to like me and be totally into me!

2. My Family Has To Approve and Like Him—-> HE BETTER like my family & be on his best d*mn behavior

3. My Friends Have To Like and Get Along With Him—-> HE BETTER like my friends and respect them.

 

4. We have to have similar spiritual beliefs, morals, etc all that other stuff that is important in a relationship!

 

If those 4 things are good, then to me it is like “hiring” time which I then proceed to turn it into an exclusive relationship. I would suggest that your introduce the potential “BF/GF” little by little and I usually recommend them meeting your family last.

A huge dating FAIL is when people just override and skip what I consider the 4 essentials and just date someone who:

1. ISN’T Totally Into You —-> They can’t shut up about how OTHER guys/girls are hotter than you


2. Your Family Is Indifferent or Doesn’t Like Them—> Some people are not close to their family, i could see why this wouldn’t matter to them


3. The person you are dating DOES NOT like your friends and your friends DO NOT get along with them—-> I believe good friends want the best for you so if they openly tell you they don’t like the person you are dating there is a major reason why. I don’t think friends sit around and hope for their friends never to date.


4. Bad Chemistry… enough said.

Why is it that some people fail to realize that when you make someone exclusive and date them… They end up having to date your friends & family too!

If the culture of your friends has been spring break trips, weekly dinners and get-togethers with no drama, no awkwardness why the F would you not protect it or give a small shit about maybe considering how your BF/GF effects it??

There is truth in numbers. If 1-2 people don’t like who you have forced upon them to like then hey maybe those people are picky and illogical and not giving your bf/gf a chance. However, of this extends beyond that then why are you forcing upon what at one time was sacred someone who clearly is a cancer in your family and
friends?

It is sad to see when men really do chose “Hoes before bros” or women we can be just as guilty of being exclusive with someone who doesn’t add value to you and who doesn’t mesh with your friends.

Now the question is: Is the issue your friends or the person you are dating?

My fondest wish for you is to remember that when you date it’s an interview. You don’t have to introduce the chick or guy you just me to your family of friends right away in fact I’ve gone on several dates with tons of guys that never ever met any of my friends. They just didn’t cut it, I knew I didn’t want to be serious with them so I just didn’t bother bringing them around my friends or family. These guys were good enough for me to spend some time with, hang out with and entertain myself, but not good enough to make it to round two “interviews”.

Interview process is fun! Enjoy it and make sure you “hire” the right one! 🙂

Entrepreneur's Corner, Health & Fitness, My Thoughts

5 Tips For Better Sleep

Do you and your partner share a bedroom or do you have a playroom? So as I have previously shared I am one of millions of women reading Fifty Shades Of Grey. I found it quite interesting how they describe Christians’ “bedroom” as the “playroom” I paused for a minute and thought to myself is my bedroom a “playroom” enough? Through my conversations with clients and casual conversations with friends I realized most peoples’ bedrooms are not only NOT bedroom ready, but definitely not playroom ready either. I believe a bedroom whether you share it with someone or just yourself should be somewhere were two things are achieved: Rest and Recreation.

Here are 5 quick Tips to remake your bedroom for better relaxation or play, if that is what you want.

 

bettersleep
5 Tips For Better Sleep
1. Keep Your Bedroom Clean & Clutter Less

I know it sounds repetitive, but really people: Clean Your Room! Just like your momma taught you! A cluttered room will definitely not set the mood, but it is also hard to fall asleep and sleep well when you have to find your way to your bed with all your crap all over the place. You will find yourself restless and thinking of the things you have to do & clean. It is a physical sign that leaves you feeling cluttered and dirty.

2. For Good Fung Shui Have Bed With Feet Pointing Towards Door

Not a Fung Shui expert, but there you have it. This weekend do some rearranging and google all about it!

3. Avoid Displaying Photos

Don’t know about you, but if you have a picture of your mom staring at you from your night stand…. I am not too sure how “in the mood” you can get. I say leave the photo collage and family trees pics for other areas of the house. Your bedroom is like a sanctuary and you want to keep a minimal display of visualization that brings about emotions of :
A.) Accomplishment or goals( this will cause restlessness because you will want to start working on it ASAP if your anything like me)
B.) Love for family (It will scare away the tigress and bring out a wimpy kitty)

4. Nightstand Essentials

Water, baby wipes and paper towels.. yeah I said it! Trust me you will be thanking me one night as you reach over your convenient nightstand drawer 😉

5. Sturdy Bed & Mattress

Ok people get your head out of the gutter!! Nah, your right that was exactly what I was thinking. Nothing can annoy me and kill the mood more than an uncomfortable mattress and squeaky bed!

Add a Comment Below and Share With Me If You Have Other Suggestions

Add A Comment Here!

My Thoughts, People Skills, Relationships

Major Dating Mistake

You all know I enjoy talking about love, relationships, business and traveling, but I will share with you one of my SMH moments when I see people do this.When I see this major dating mistake I think “what a tragedy” You see to me dating is about meeting people, getting to know them… possibly over something called “A date”, testing them out by spending time with them to see if there is any chemistry and commonality.

Too often I witness major dating mistakes men and women make. What is it? NOT dating enough! It is settling for the first thing with eyes and a “P”. I call this the “One and Done”

The “one and doners” are the type of folks who do not even venture to date. They miss the whole concept of what dating is. They find that one guy or girl who is “just ok” and stop looking and then what is worse…they commit a major love disaster they make themselves exclusive to them killing all chances of them ever meeting someone else and also forcing their friends to have to deal with the mediocre dude or chic. The one and done daters will say things like ” oh this person doesn’t bother me and hasn’t done anything to me so I’m staying with them…” Know anyone like that?

But why?

I have concluded 2 reasons:
1. They are too lazy to look for someone else
2. They are afraid they won’t find someone who is “as good” or “better”

I can not tell you enough not to ignore your dating and love life and guess what people… Time DOES Matter! I have seen good people stuck in bad relationships with bad people or end up single and longing for someone. There is nothing wrong with being single if you actually WANT to be, but being horny, negative and longing to be with someone is a no-no.

Yep it happens. Usually the symptoms are it wasn’t “that bad” in the beginning, but guess what it can get real bad and you get stuck in an intertwined relationship where it can feel like there is no escape.

I have said it before and will say it again: It is better to be alone than stuck in a relationship with a bad person.

Major Dating Mistake

Signs You Are Dating The Wrong Person:

1. Your Relationship Lacks Intimacy – This doesn’t always only mean sex although that would be #2, it means do the two of you spend time cuddling? Can you sit next to each other and have an intimate conversation?

2. Lack Of Sex – Yup enough said. I used to think it may be something like some people just don’t have sex drive while others don’t. But now I am convinced when you are totally into that person… you just want it all the time!

3. Texting- If you and your “honey” text more than talk… you got issues. If this is a familiar site: You sit together and he/she is texting and you are just “there”.

4. Your Friends Do Not Like Them – One thing I have always respected in my close friends opinions. Sometimes when we are “in love” it is hard to see the other side. It is always easier to look in than it is to see out. If you respect your friends opinions there is a reason they do not like the person you are with. And wouldn’t you want them to like him or her? To me, it is very important that whom I date is well liked.

There comes a moment in your “relationship” with this person who is just ok because your the “1 and done type of person” where you have to ask yourself this:

“Am I completely done looking and not interested in ever getting to know or meet another man or woman?”

If a good friend or family member of yours were to one day offer to set you up with someone they think would be good for you would you turn them down and say “nope, good I’m in love with the current person I’m with”??

If the answer is YES, then congratulations somehow you manage to be forced under a spell by this lame person.
If the answer is NO, then don’t drag on your 1 and done mediocre relationship.

Get a moving soon and start doing little things that will let your friends and family know your are open to meet more people and go out there yourself and say hello to the world!

Stop thinking in scarcity
Think abundance! There are plenty of amazing people to share your life with!

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Love & Marriage, Relationships

What Does It Mean To Be Dating

What does it mean to be dating? We hear this word all the time “Oh we are just dating” or “I am just dating” or “I need to go on more dates” So what does it mean to be dating??

In my opinion dating doesn’t mean to settle. I am a huge supporter of dating and of people finding and getting into relationships with amazing and great people. People who can bring out the best in you and who can make your life enjoyable, but often times I feel people rush into relationships just for the sake of not being alone. As much of propagator I am for relationships I am also a HUGE propagator that it is better to be single than to be stuck in a bad relationship or one with someone who is well to say the least just “ugh”.

Often I feel the need to explain what “dating” means. Dating in my opinion is like leasing a car. Drive it around a bit and see if you like it. You test out! You try out! And guess what?? There is a return policy when you are DATING.

Dating means meet more men and women.
Go out socially with them.
Get to know them.
Kiss and get a little freak nasty with them.
Then maybe call or never call them again.

Or if you find yourself liking them and they have grown on you and you feel you have found something you truly enjoy and love, then BUY it! Put a ring on it! Make it yours. If you’re not too sure… I suggest pick up another car and try that one out. That my friends in my opinion is “Dating”. No commitments. Just a bunch of test drives.

Now here are somethings you should avoid:

1. If you are not very into that guy or girl do not “date” for too long. You will be sending the wrong signal. Just move on go find you another one to test drive!

2. Don not expect for the guy or girl you are with to be loyal to you, if you are seeing more than one person…and if you are seeing someone else even as a love shack casual “walk of shame” then be open about it do not hide it. Karma is a B****

3. If you are dating someone and you REALLY DO like them.. then don’t be a chick sh*t and take the next step. Turn it into a serious mutual exclusive relationship. Worst thing is the guy or girl who wants the exclusivity, but is afraid to commit. It is like trying to get a free trial over and over again.

I often tell my clients if you have been what you would say “serious” with someone for over 3 years and you do not see the relationship going anywhere then why stay longer??? I was once in a long term relationship that just was not good. We were good as friends just not as a relationship. Worst mistake we both made was stay together and ride it till the wheels fell off! So If its been say 3 years and neither you nor them have taken a step then my thoughts are why wait around. Time is precious and so is your youth! so go find someone else who will appreciate you and will want to “buy now” and share a wonderful life with you.

How else do you think you will find the person whom you are best with and who you are completely in love with?

I do believe in high school sweethearts and that you do not have to date 100 people or even 5 to find someone you really fall in love with. My point is only you know if your truly happy with someone or if you are only with that person out of fear of being alone.

You see the whole thing about dating is searching for someone whom you have that “oh yeah” feeling and “click” with. Nothing can be more disappointing than a great person wasting away their time in a bad relationship or with someone who just isn’t that good to them. Youth and your prime dating age is ticking away so why waste it getting more and more entwined with someone that you really aren’t jumping up and down and swinging a terrible towel around for.

The world has so much more! Imagine if all you drove was a used tractor. Bumpy, dirty, slow as hell! And you never took a ride on a luxury sports car. Smooth, fast, young, vibrant and exhilarating! My wish for the ladies and the men out there is to not be afraid to be single. To be bold. To want to become better and more confident so you can go out there date more! If you feel you need a little guidance or some dating pin pointers check out my coaching services CLICK HERE

HAVE YOUR OWN OPINION ABOUT DATING? LEAVE US A COMMENT AND SHARE WITH US WITH YOU THINK BELOW.

My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth, Relationships

Women and Relationships

As a Woman myself, you may be surprised I am putting women on blast, but I will and I do because I don’t believe in fluffy dating and relationship advice. So here are some facts about selfish women dating and in relationships. Yup Women and Relationships.

Many times in dating or relationships the man gets the short end of the stick. He is usually the first for people to assume the relationship went bad or who “broke” the girls heart. What I have come to find is many women cause the heartbreak; drama themselves! Then they get dumped or wonder why the guy they are with doesn’t want to make love with them anymore, cheats on them (no excuses for this one, men need to grow some huevos and breakup), and get dumped! But again, it is this selfish type woman who brings this all to her.

According to Askmen.com that a selfish woman has the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Requires excessive admiration.
4. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends) and lacks empathy.
5. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

I have had my fair share of encounters with women like those described above and have seen the interaction with their significant other or current boyfriend and I always wonder not only why is this guy putting up with her and also how does she manage to have 1 friend??

If you need more visualization, here are some clear examples when girl selfishness occurs:

1. The guy  is late for 5 minutes, for a woman it is like world war 3 is about to come.  When the guy showed up, whatever explanation that comes out from his mouth would never reach to her ears.

2. When the guy received a friendly message from a woman. His Girlfriend would then erupted with so many queries about cheating and blah blah and blah blah, not knowing that the woman is his sister.

3. When you two are together in a certain place and then some crazy things happen, somewhat like she forgot to bring her umbrella, make-up kit etc… She would say ,”IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Sound familiar?? Look, I do agree sometimes the guy DID forget to bring your make-up….. or in my case… I DID forget to bring my boyfriends suit for a wedding…. but he didn’t flip out! Why do we women have to flip out??

These are the kind of chicks I agree and you can say “B**** you crazy!” Good men stuck in relationships with these type of women… it happens. So men dating does not mean settling or having to put up with this behavior. And for my lady friends if you find yourself being guilty of any of the above I welcome you to inspect your life a little further and count how many friends you have, how many people actually like you and wonder if your boyfriend is only with you for now until he finds someone better…

For some coaching and how to become more well liked check out my dating services.

Know some crazy B*****s?? Share with me what you have noticed or witnessed.
 

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