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Personal Growth

My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth

You Can’t Photoshop Your Personality

Money can buy nearly everything except for true love, meaningful relationships, and that something we all are in search of… Happiness.
Some people or companies try hard…real hard to sell you that they can make you happy, but deep down inside it is a lot more complex and unique than it coming in a box. Truth is you can’t Photoshop your personality.
Today’s post isn’t too deep and esoteric of a topic as happiness, but it is an important one. It is one that I believe makes life more enjoyable and one that helps you create a better life. It is about something you take with you everywhere. It gives people a reason to create a judgement about you and decide whether or not they like you, want to date you, hire you or marry you!
It’s your personality! And it cannot be photoshopped! But it can be fixed and if you need professional help, Well I take it back…money can help you to learn how to develop yours into something worth hanging out with just hang out and be coached by me!

If you don’t like your boobs you can buy new ones!
If you look fat, you can take away inches!
If your not very worldly you can learn and educate yourself more
I can go on and on about things we can quickly change cosmetically and women and men do it all the time.
But did you know the one thing you can’t physically change is the one that can get you the most results in life?
More friends, more dates, better relationships and more success?

That is true, you can’t photoshop that ugly personality. Ahh the little thing called a personality!
Ugh have I met some stanky ones, stale ones, desperate ones and just plain boooooring!
uglypersonality
Signs you may need a personality make over

1. You still only have the same 4 friends from the neighborhood or college
2. Your at a dead end job
3. You find it hard to carry a conversation with someone and actually prefer that people don’t talk to you.
4. You give one word answers when someone tries to ask you a question
5. Around a group of people you tend to not talk to anyone and cling on to the one friend you do know or the arm of your boy/girlfriend.

If you are guilty of any of the above then I suggest you take into consideration how to be friendlier, funner, and just simply to learn the skill of conversation and rapport.
This skill alone can transform your life!

by
My Thoughts, Personal Growth

Why Being Alone For Christmas Rocks!

Why being alone for Christmas rocks!

In Spanish we have a saying that goes “Mas vale solo que mal acompanada (i cant spell excuse me)” basically ” Better to be alone than in bad company” I am sending warm thoughts and greetings and wishing everyone to be with good company and the best during this time of year. This is the month when people “let loose” we tend to party a little more, be a little more courageous in approaching women or men, we are more open with our feelings, finally say the things we have been meaning to say, and in general have a deeper appreciation for who and what we have.

This is also the time of year many of you who are used to big family gatherings or have been in a relationship for awhile and may find yourself sharing a Christmas by yourself, get a little emotional on me. Im going to talk about why being alone is one of the best and most amazing ways for self growth and new exciting experiences.

In past years my Christmas has always been spent with family or filled with a lot of people or in a relationship. This year is quite different. I am single, I just relocated to NYC so I am not traveling back to where my family is and I am spending it doing non traditional Christmas things. Doing it like the Jewish people do year after year after year, treating it like any other day.

Many of you get all cry baby on me and I am here to share with you that is the wrong approach! In fact this Christmas has been and is already set to be one to remember!

I can’t say that I have been completely alone, im very fortunate to have some very close intimate friends here to spend it with, but as the saying goes sometimes “less, does = to more”.

Started “Christmas” with a not so traditional greek lunch with a close friend then being new to Manhattan I spotted out a wine bar that was having a Christmas party so my friends and I decided to make that the place for the night. We started the night early 6pm to be exact! Hahaha the events and what I learned after really opened me up to sometimes that “untraditional” can be very rewarding.

Within a span of a few hours I met many locals, owners of bars in the neighborhood, was invited into people’s homes for their Christmas, and really got to spend time and appreciate the close friends I do have.
Many times in a world full of “mine, mine, mine” or “ I want,want,want” we tend to take our “acquiring” nature into the world of people and relationships. We think “friends” or your “BF or GF” is just another statistic and forget to appreciate and nurture that relationship. We get flooded or bombarded by the “routine” by thoughts of “it will always be this way” but its not. Things change, things happen and sometimes it is healthy to step out of your “routine” and experience something new.
If you work somewhere and your daily routine is the same. You take same transportation to work, take same roads, or streets, same times, you will realize you run into the exact same people.
Try this, next week leave 10minutes earlier, take a different road, walk on a different street, enter at a different door and wah-lah! New opportunities, new experiences, just like that!

The point is this, when you get yourself out of the mentality that your “alone” or that “this sucks” you quickly open yourself up to new experiences and realize that really, your life is filled with great people that you take for granted and that even more powerful there are many more great people you are yet to meet, if you just open yourself up.

So to all you Christmas singles not spending time with your family this year, see it as a blessing and instead of mopping around or getting all pansy on me, enjoy it! Be open to new things, new people and new connections.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas!

Expand your network, develop new relationships learn how to improve your networking and dating skills with someone new today! Check out my Coaching Programs.

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Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts, Personal Growth, Real Estate

My Personal Story & Reinvention

When I was about 5 years old my brother, his friend and I would walk around our neighborhood selling cherry tomatoes and cucumbers. The boys were in charge of pulling our red wagon and decidedly by them, I would be the one who would have to walk up to every house, knock on the door, put on a smile and throw them my sales pitch. “Cucumbers 3 for $1 and cherry tomatoes 10 for$1.” It is funny how till this day I remember what we sold and for how much. I would go door to door to door knocking and selling whatever vegetables we had.

Selling vegetables door to door stop being cool once I hit my teenage years where I found other ways to make money. At age 18, I got accepted into my dream school UCLA and wanted to pursue a career in politics and social affairs working with Amnesty International or on grass roots political movement, but I was quickly drawn to business again. I spent the next 8 years traveling and building a business selling and promoting different products and services. The people I was working with really had me blind folded with the con artist they ended up being. My intentions were always good and ethical, but theirs we’re to take advantage of people.I mean for 8 years they promoted “work hard, build a business and have time freedom & residual income” When I finally wanted some time freedom and keep my income I was earning & had built for myself, the “owner” of this company YOR Health, decided “it wasn’t the right timing” according to him. So his factious actions he took were to take it away all together.
How legit is that?
As any teenage girl would behave when she is suddenly angered or upset, the “owner” &his right hand man, an insecure and in the closet about his personal life guy , began to create rumors & lies threatening my reputation and credibility. I guess they were upset that I actually wanted that thing they promoted “time freedom” and didn’t feel like spending 24hours a day with them and promoting only these products. I wanted to pursue additional things & they had a major problem with it. In fact, anyone who ever attempted to do the same usually ended up in the exact same cookie-cutter sudden loss if business scam this company operated. How legit does that sound?? Exactly. Lies. Lies and more lies.

So 3 years ago I parted ways and could no longer work with them promoting something that was unreal and unethical. I made some amazing friends and as the good old saying goes ” one closed door leads to another open door” I strapped my shoes on and kept progressing forward.

Many others who discovered the same grimey things I did about YOR Health took a much different approach pretending it was “ok” for these people to lie to them and scam them the way they did. They took the “let’s stay “friends” approach” which I don’t stand for. They pretended like it never happened or that they never knew anything about it. Protecting the owner & his little minion parter. Sounded to me like a very Penn State Sandusky scandal kinda thing. These others slowly walked away and kind of nestled and hid behind the fact that they needed to change and continue to progress on to the next chapter of their life. Some took my approach and continued to move forward in life progressing, traveling more, marrying the love of their lives, beginning a family, etc. others are quite about what they do now or simply don’t do much. For me, this was no big deal. Just open up another door and one thing I’ve learned to do is when you step into something don’t tippy toe in… Take a bold step forward.

I made a lot of changes in my life and actually ended up doing things I had been putting off for years like traveling which I love! The past 3 years have taught me that a snowball effect can happen with your own life once you get the ball rolling by taking your first step forward. Things started coming together for me the minute I made a decision to change and progress and not to be stuck on the past. I moved to NYC and lived on the upper east side, started dating, met my soulmate and started a dating coaching business because of it and now coach clients on how to meet people. My years in sales have helped me acquire the skills to be able to talk and meet anybody! So now I share that with people.

I have also pursed my passion in real estate and design which I’ve had for many years! I remember when I was at UCLA I used to drive around Beverly Hills and just look at homes. I would admire the architecture and design and also was intrigued by the people living in it and those selling these homes.
I could watch HGTV for hours… So today I also work in architectural sales and my clients and I work on developing some of the most high end luxury hotels, restaurants and homes across the world!

When I moved to New York City I became fascinated with the real estate market. I saw how demanding it was and the fact that this little island was like a sanctuary meaning no matter how bad the economy was in every other part of the country or world, this little 22 square foot mile island was untouched by it and home prices continued to rise. With vacancy rates lower than 1% it was no wonder I thought I’d be homeless and never be able to find an apartment when I moved to NYC. With the average selling price at 1.45million I didn’t have to be too smart to see the lucrative opportunity in it for me as well. Likewise across the river in the boro of New Jersey I do the same and with the help of some great business partners we are beautifying some neighborhoods by taking junk F’ugly houses and making them pretty and live able again! So I help people find their dream homes, or get rid of their ugly home. I have paired up my design skills to help sellers prep their home for selling it or new homeowners customizing their home. It is all one big melting pot for me!

To think that 3 years ago I knew nothing about the industry. I Didn’t know a thing about mortgages, interior design, home values, pricing, property taxes, creative ways of homeownership, tax credits, negotiating and completing a transaction, to name a few. I learned it. I was fortunate to have great friends and mentors who were open enough for me to learn from them. They are veterans in the real estate industry and I was smart to remember one thing: If someone offers to teach you something, don’t be stupid not to learn. Be appreciate and learn to leverage off the years it took someone to learn something you can pick up in half the time….if you just perk your ears up to listen and pay attention.

I’m as excited about what I do now as I am for some other businesses I have cooking up and soon to launch.
Maybe I am a little different and can handle doing more than one thing or maybe the work hard bug bit me when I was a kid and witness my parents work their butt off or maybe I am guilty of wanting to accomplish a lot…not sure. What I do hope is that we can learn to continue to move forward and progress. My boyfriend is someone who has inspired me to continue to be better and accomplish a lot. He is so well balanced with his life and his business which he had the courage to start not when he was down in life which most people do. He quit his job where he was making six figures and took a step towards financial independence to start up his company with his friend.
A risk taker?
A stupid move?
Courageous?

Many people have their opinion. Mine is one of feeling proud about him for pursuing what he wanted. He like many people who pursue what they dream of, was faced with the challenges and a learning curve. Listen people: There Is No Way Around It!!
It is a step we must all pass thru. So don’t be afraid to do it.

In conclusion to my long winded story, if your currently working somewhere and feel stagnant look into certifications or skills that your company would like you to have that could lead to a promotion and go get them! If you have been wanting to make a move or change jobs or the industry you are in, do it!
If you’ve always wanted to start that rock band or clothing line or bake shop…Do it! Start small if you have to,but at least take a step forward with it. Talk to your partner or a close friend whom you trust. Speak to them about what you want to do and maybe they can help you make a plan to make a change.

Good Luck! And keep on truckin!!! 🙂

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Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts, Personal Growth

How To Change Careers In Your 30s

There is no right or wrong way to live your life and what you should do as a career. How To Change Careers In Your 30s is my own personal life story. I have come full circle from what I thought I wanted to do, what I am good at and what I actually enjoy doing. I am not alone. Many people of all ages and status in their lives have gone through a reinvention period. Read my two part series here How To Reinvent Yourself.

Recently one of my clients shared with me how she got into the design business. She is very successful and has a well established client base. So I asked her. To my surprise she shared with me that it had only been two years since she started her career. She isn’t 18 or even 30 she’s older that that. She had been in the private equities industry for over 20 years earning a six figure income as one of the companies top executives. Despite the prestiges title and money she earned, she felt unhappy and no longer enjoyed what she was doing. She had always had an eye for design and always enjoyed it. Now I didn’t want to peer to deep into her personal life, but I can only assume she probably had a mortgage to pay for, possibly some credit card debt and a lot of financial responsibilities.

Now you can guess what steps she decided to take next as I already spoiled the story for you, but what excites me about this story and this lady is her desire to progress and…. Try. How To Reinvent Yourself starts with you wanting to.

I can see that there are many others who may have or currently feel like my friend Liz felt…but ignore their inner feelings and get overtaken by fear.

Top three fears that stop us from progression and trying something:
Fear of judgement.
Fear of failure.
Fear of starting over again.

I too am not immune to those fears, but what good comes from allowing yourself to be ruled by those fears???

Some of you are in your twenties and can’t seem to take that step in the direction of acquiring a new skill or doing something you’ve wanted to do. Stuck. Feeling like it is better to at least have his one paycheck than risk getting that paycheck taken away.

Or it is fear of judgement. Like what will my friends think if I have to start going back to school. FYI I don’t think anyone has ever been against someone learning and acquiring a skill.
One thing I always did was progress and do things that would boost the money I was making,the number of people I met and the skills I would learn.

One of the first businesses I started at age 18 was in network marketing. One thing about it is that 1% achieves any success. Majority just hangs on the coat tails riding along for the ride or in the company I used to promote for people just hang in because they get a chance to live in the basement of someones bigger house and say they too have a “mansion”! Funniest and most low class thing ever! But hey, too each his own!

When I started this business my income wasn’t stable at the time so I immediately decided I better get a job to pay the bills while I grow my business. Of course some people were totally against it because they felt getting that job would ruin this “image” of a successful person they so badly wanted me to project, but I didn’t listen and got one anyway. I knew that running anything on empty is no good. If you are trying to go to college and your broke like a joke or you are trying to start up a business and again you are broke as a joke. Being broke will take up so much of your energy and thoughts and make you worry that you will not be able to do anything well. So long story short the same chick that suggested I do not get a part time job “miss leader” one year, the next year she was hiding from embarrassment from getting her car repossessed. … Me? I never had a single car repossessed or have to get a collection agency to consolidate my debt and I manage to make more money and create a bigger business than 99% of those people.

Why am I sharing this with you? Because I want to illustrate how I wanted to build a business, but I also knew I needed to make money so I just did both. Got a part time job that allowed me to still build a business. You have to first figure out what your priority is and work everything around that. Whether it is you graduating from college, attending grad school, your children, your family, your music, whatever!

I was watching Undercover Boss the other night, and one story they highlighted was a college student who worked the night shift so he can go to school during the day.
Again, a just get it done mentality. Is it the most glorious job? Are there better jobs out there that pay more? I am sure, but he chose one that allowed him to work around his number one priority, which to him was becoming a college graduate.

So if your stuck with wanting to do something,but afraid to take the first step. I will tell you this…everything always seems to fall into place after that first step.

Maybe it may mean you may have to take a pay cut or work longer hours.. Do it.
In the end you will not regret it. I have found that life has an interesting way of making the pieces of your life puzzle fall into place once you begin to take action. It is during inaction that it feels impossible to complete something.

If you are feeling a little stuck with your life or career here are some steps you may want to take.
1. Share your feelings with someone you trust.
Many times simply talking about things helps lead to resolutions.

2. Pay attention to your gut and to what excites you.
What do you enjoy talking about, doing, watching, collecting, etc. You may not pinpoint it right away, but paying attention to your own interest can narrow your search.

3. Take Action
Either find a mentor who may help you to learn from them or take things into your own hands and teach yourself. Register for a class. Shadow someone for a day or two or three if you are lucky enough! Whatever it is start, take action here and things will fall into place.

In the next post I will share with you my own person reinvention and how and why I do what I do, but in the meantime I would love to hear your thoughts or stories on how you reinvented yourself or if you feel a little stuck share and maybe some advice can be helpful!

by
Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts, Personal Growth

How To Reinvent Yourself

Do you remember the time when you would say “when I grow up I want to be…?”
Well when I was young my three choices were an ice cream woman, an astronaut and an accountant. My oh my has that changed! Reinventing yourself has no age! Read my How to change careers in your 30s post here.

I eat a lot of ice cream, but I do not sell it for a living.
I keep a pretty detailed account of all my earnings and spendings, but I am not an accountant.
My life is out of this world, but I never became an astronaut.

So I became nothing of which I “wanted” to become…when I was 5. Would you call me a failure? I would say most of you would say no..and thanks for that. I appreciate the positive outlook.

But what is the difference even when someone is 30 and is something different than what they so badly wanted to be at age 22?
Is there a difference there?
Would you say that person failed?
Or succeeded?
Of course, we have to consider what they are doing and if it is a downgrade from what they had X years before.

So here is the question: If becoming someone or doing something completely different at age 35 than what you wanted to be at age 5 is ok, why be fearful of doing something different at age 40 than what you were doing at age 28?

Few people are as blessed to end up doing what they have been wanting to since they were a kid or even what the ended up going to school for and be HAPPY doing it. You know how many unhappy financial stockbrokers I know? Or unemployed engineers ? Or network marketers who have been at it for over 10years and still “faking it till they make it”… Too many!

We all have our share of trial and error. I like to call it simply TRIAL.
To Try. To Do. To Take action.

Every segment of your life teaches you something about you and also teaches you skills you can have and hold on to for your next segment. I find that the biggest disappointment in people is when I see those who are either trigger shy or too stubborn to change.

The trigger shy folks are those who don’t ever quite seem to jump into adulthood. Like they are still living at home or working at places where they are overly qualified. For these folks I would wish for you to be more daring and take initiative on your life.
It is never to late to go to school. Get an education or learn a new trade. It is also never to late to switch jobs or professions. Like the good old saying goes “you never know until you try”.

Continuing on, then there are those who are too stubborn to change. Like they clearly are not happy with their current state. Maybe it’s the job they are at or they feel they can be making more money, or they have been doing what they do for way too many years expecting a different result and every year its the same.

I brought up this topic because I too have been either too qualified and stuck at a dead end job or at one point in my life was very stubborn to change. The transformational changes I have made for myself in the last 3 years have led me to a place where I am very happy and feel others could gain a lot from just the thought of reinventing themselves.

In my later post I will share with you my own story and that of a client of mine. For now stay tuned and please share with me if you have or currently feel like a change in your life is overdue.

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Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth

7 Habits of Unsuccessful People

Is there such a thing as habits of unsuccessful people? Well recently during a conversation I was reminded about the importance of time management. It feels like a century ago, that I used to be the type of person who needed to be reminded that I should have goals and things I want to accomplish for the week. At one point in my life, I had to learn how to prioritize things and be able to multitask. Today, being organized, having goals and successfully running several business & careers is hate to sound conceded but almost like second nature. But again, it was NOT always like that. One of the books I read that helped me become the person I am today was Steven Coveys 7 Habits of Highly Successful People well here are 7 Habits of Unsuccessful People…

I can say it is almost foreign to come across and hangout with or even talk to people who have nothing going for themselves or what I deem to be “unsuccessful”. Most everyone I know has their sh*** together either working at a company that they enjoy, excelling at their career or education and or growing a business. And mind you what I mean by this is that these people are actively working on all this. They are not millionaires or bazillionaires, to me that’s awesome, but even working towards what you like in my opinion is a success! So what do I label as unsuccessful?   Well here are some common characteristics I believe unsuccessful people share I like to call it the 7 Habits of Unsuccessful People:

 

  1. 1. They have a bad attitude.

Its as simple as “whatever your mind believes, it achieves” So if your mind is constantly negative or thinking the world is against you, then it is clear to see why things just never seem to work out for you.

 

  1. 2. They think “poor me”

This is an attitude of pitty. These people are usually ones to think “why does all the bad stuff happen to me” or often times these people feel no one likes them or no one wants to help them. They remind me of a helpless frail dog. Often these are the same folks talking about how because they grew up in certain place or because of their sex or race they aren’t successful.

 

  1. 3. Have no purpose or goals

Did you ever as a kid play with big leafs and pretend they were boats? You ever see how they drift and have no real direction? That is what these people act and are like. They kind of just “go with the flow”. If you were to ask them what they are doing tomorrow or this weekend or anything they probably do not have a solid answer. It is always “I don’t know”. If you ask them what they like to do or their thoughts on things; they “don’t know” or have no opinion.

  1. 4. Always do just enough, never more.

 

Simple enough. Successful people stretch to do more and be more. Unsuccessful people just do enough. Whether it is as simple as cleaning their room to getting their life together. It is all the same. Their attitude of “just enough” keeps them unsuccessful

 

  1. 5. They are usually very messy

I once learned that people who are messy in their homes and who have messy cars, usually always have messy businesses, lives and relationships. So far, so true. I don’t believe I have ever met a messy successful person.

 

 

  1. 6. They think they know everything

These are the people who rarely listen and are not open to learn anything knew. You tell them or offer a suggestion and they respond with “oh I know” and do not listen fully to what you were attempting to share with them.

 

  1. 7. Always wake up late and have no plans for their days

 

Now don’t get me wrong I LOVE to sleep in…but to do it everyday?! Come’on now! Grow up and get with it. Having no plan for the day…everyday is just the biggest warning flag for disaster. When you are excited about life have goals and things you want to achieve you usually find yourself eager to get up and start working on those things. So if you find yourself not being in the mood to wake up, it probably has more to do with your ambition than the fact that you feel “tired”

 

If you find yourself just loligagging around, “oh hem hum let it slide” then I suggest you pick up some books, courses or sometimes even a friend. A friend who has a lifestyle or a way of looking at life that you can learn from and is willing to teach you (because most people could care less about you) then snatch them up and appreciate them for caring enough to share with you or tell you when your screwing up and how you can become better.

Have anymore habits to add? Let me know Here!

 

 

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My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth, Relationships

Women and Relationships

As a Woman myself, you may be surprised I am putting women on blast, but I will and I do because I don’t believe in fluffy dating and relationship advice. So here are some facts about selfish women dating and in relationships. Yup Women and Relationships.

Many times in dating or relationships the man gets the short end of the stick. He is usually the first for people to assume the relationship went bad or who “broke” the girls heart. What I have come to find is many women cause the heartbreak; drama themselves! Then they get dumped or wonder why the guy they are with doesn’t want to make love with them anymore, cheats on them (no excuses for this one, men need to grow some huevos and breakup), and get dumped! But again, it is this selfish type woman who brings this all to her.

According to Askmen.com that a selfish woman has the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Requires excessive admiration.
4. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends) and lacks empathy.
5. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

I have had my fair share of encounters with women like those described above and have seen the interaction with their significant other or current boyfriend and I always wonder not only why is this guy putting up with her and also how does she manage to have 1 friend??

If you need more visualization, here are some clear examples when girl selfishness occurs:

1. The guy  is late for 5 minutes, for a woman it is like world war 3 is about to come.  When the guy showed up, whatever explanation that comes out from his mouth would never reach to her ears.

2. When the guy received a friendly message from a woman. His Girlfriend would then erupted with so many queries about cheating and blah blah and blah blah, not knowing that the woman is his sister.

3. When you two are together in a certain place and then some crazy things happen, somewhat like she forgot to bring her umbrella, make-up kit etc… She would say ,”IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Sound familiar?? Look, I do agree sometimes the guy DID forget to bring your make-up….. or in my case… I DID forget to bring my boyfriends suit for a wedding…. but he didn’t flip out! Why do we women have to flip out??

These are the kind of chicks I agree and you can say “B**** you crazy!” Good men stuck in relationships with these type of women… it happens. So men dating does not mean settling or having to put up with this behavior. And for my lady friends if you find yourself being guilty of any of the above I welcome you to inspect your life a little further and count how many friends you have, how many people actually like you and wonder if your boyfriend is only with you for now until he finds someone better…

For some coaching and how to become more well liked check out my dating services.

Know some crazy B*****s?? Share with me what you have noticed or witnessed.
 

Add a Comment Below and Share With Me If You Have Other Suggestions

Add A Comment Here!

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My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth, Relationships

When Nobody Likes You

I hate to be a Debbie Downer with a topic, I actually had my doubts on whether I should write about this or not because I feel very strongly and I am against Bullies, people who are mean to others and those who feel are superior to others and like to belittle others. In fact this post is more in support to all those who have been bullied or have to put up with peoples uncalled for and nasty ways of dealing with people… hence, THEY are the ones nobody likes and those whom the rest of us can learn from their “relationship failures”.

I speak a lot about dating and developing good relationships…true most of the time it revolves around love …. That is because I can’t help, but to be a romantic! But what happens when you are the one who nobody likes. For example, recently I came across this:

 

Why is it that some people even on a social space like Facebook where people whored around the word “friends” some people just can’t get any?? And I know some are thinking “Well I never go on Facebook and I don’t care about interacting with people on their I rather interact in person”. I agree to the rather interact in person, but not so much with ignoring what today is pretty much a way of communication and living whether we like it or not… Virtual communication is here to stay people! So GET CONNECT PEOPLE!  Umm.. go ahead and LIKE my page and connect with me now while your at it : CONNECT WITH ME

Now the easy thinig to say is “well they rather have a small group of friends than be liked by everybody” and I agree some people do choose to have a small intimate group of friends, but I also feel that is an excuse for the “nobody likes them folks” to explain their lack of friends and being liked. You see in my opinion having few friends can be looked at in a two ways:

  1. You Have Few Friends Because YOU Choose It;
  2. You Have Few To NO Friends Because Nobody Likes You.

Or

They way I strive to be build my life is with this philosophy:

Have Close Nit Circle of Friends And Be Well Liked And Respected By Many!

Why not! You can develop that if you choose too.

So from those folks that “nobody likes” there is something to learn from a failure of friends.

So I and you should  ask also :

What do these people do to repeal so many people?

How do they act?

 

Here are a few things I have noticed and will point out about these loners:

  1. They talk badly about someone to others, and then go hangout with that person as if they are their best friend.

“ Yeah so&so is such a B***! I cant stand her..you know what she did…”

“Oh so&so of course! Lets hang out this weekend! I’m dying too see you!”

 

2. They are always devaluing your own accomplishments and speaking about how theirs are so much better.

“That’s cool about your companies bonus I guess…my company gave me a much bigger bonus…”

 

3. Talking way too much about themselves in a show off type of way

“So yeah like I have sooooo many friends and were just going to have like 3 weddings, 2 honeymoons and top notch all open bar”

“OMG like I cant walk down the street without a guy hollering at me. I have great legs, they just cant stop looking at me”

 

4.They do not acknowledge people

Scenario: Loner joins the rest of a dinner table full of people, by just sliding in and not saying hi to anyone and they leave without saying goodbye.

5. Are fair weather friends  – Friends only when it is convenient to them.

6. Have a critique about everything you do!

7. When in a relationship they seclude everyone except their significant other.

Girlfriend/Boyfriend in town or they just got one = You are forgotten about.

8. Have no loyalty or appreciation. Have my fair share of these folks!

9. They are the “obnoxious drunk” or the extreme “stiffy” friend.

So your at the bar and everyone is drinking or dancing or sharing their steamy s*x stories, but that one clearly-not-religious friend of yours is Mr./Mrs. Closed.- ANNOYING! Why even go hang out??!!

Or you go out and they are the ones drinking & talking so loudly you start wondering if you are out with a friend or a little kid.

 

Many of have known or know people like this. Some even continue to give these people the time and day ! Why? Not sure, maybe because they feel bad which is a very noble thing to think or feel you are “helping” them. But I believe what makes relationships strong and friendships valuable is when someone can knock some sense in you and not just allow you to keep making the same mistakes. Sometimes the most noble and helpful thing you can do for someone is to bluntly show them the effects of their actions.

Hey do me a favor, let us hear your opinions and comment below and if you LIKED IT , then help me

 

To building great friendships, sharing love and finding your soulmate!  

 

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My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth

Low Class Splurger

Are you guilty of being a low class splurger? Is it wrong to splurge on yourself and buy yourself luxury goods, toys or delicious dinners?? I believe we ALL have the right to buy whatever we desire and want. What is money if you cannot buy yourself what you want. So what do I mean by a “Low Class Splurger” ?

Cars, shoes, purses, jewelry, etc bought and boasted about publically across social networks and smacked in your face. Some of you think it is annoying. Others get jealous and others loath and love it.

Is it so wrong to buy yourself something most people could never afford or would be too cheap to buy for themselves?

I don’t think so!

In my opinion everyone has the right to do whatever the heck they want to do with their money. You worked for it. You earned it. So now do what you want with it. However, I can’t be so sure most of us have proper what I call boasting etiquette when we do make these purchases and fail to use even the slightest bit of logic when we buy and boast. I have a few annoying, make you want to slap some people silly examples you may have also witnesses. Here are some of my faves:

The Hypocrite Buyer This is the guy who talks loudly about saving the environment, but drives a big fancy gas guzzler and drinks out of Styrofoam cups. Or the women who claims to be an animal lover and activist, t has an extensive collection of fur hats, coast and boots! I once knew a lady who was just that! She would constantly share about how much she loved her dog and other animals as she sat there telling me  decked out in fur from head to toe. Why? And no I never had the guts to say what I was thinking directly to her… well I guess until now if she reads this. Come’ lady its 60degrees outside who are you showing off all the fur too?

Credit Card Debit Princess

Oh these girls, they are really funny! Ok it is super cute to wear the newest shoes or carry around the latest signature bag, but it is not very princess like when you rack up your own credit cards, have creditors calling and mailing you constantly and all your super luxurious things get hung and stored in your not so big closet in an apartment you share with 3 other people… Ghetto Fab?? I feel some people get caught up in this overspending like a drug habit. They have this desire to NEED to have the name brand things as if the name brand gave them some sort of hierarchical boast.

Truth is: if you have a shallow personality the cute shoes or purse or the nicest car won’t make you more liked. I believe clothes; accessories and things you own should be the complement & highlight the beautiful well liked person you are not what are responsible for making you appear better than you really are. If you are single and think this helps, it doesn’t. Guys see it as starving for attention… not very sexy. And if you are the man doing it, you are only going to get the type of women who want to use you for your money. No excuses though! You SHOULD care about how you look and present yourself so get rid of the raggedy shoes and buy some….NOW!

Fake It Till You Make It

In my young and naive days, I was associated with a company that taught this. They would have and from what I know, still do have their “Top Dogs” buy fancy cars thru parents or their friends credit, knowing they cant afford them(late payments, etc) and buy all the name brand items to “show” people they were making money. Again, I admit I was a fan and still am of name brand things

A.) because I like them and B.) The quality many times is much better.

So these “Top Dogs” were like little cartoon characters by day they drive  around in fancy cars with all their bling on and at night reside in a furniture less apartment with 5 other people eating instant noodles and slaving away 7 days a week calling that “successful or retirement”. Again a big no-no in my books about splurging etiquette.

Ghetto Fabulous

Ok so you just cashed your $500 check and you want to post pictures of all the $20 bills you have…..    

and the background of the picture shows your old as cheese messy with cracks on the wall house… but your rolling right??

In conclusion buy, spend, experience, celebrate and splurge! I sure will.

My wish is that you simply learn to be a little more classy about what you have, what you get and how you decide to share it with your friends and family. Not only may you come across as low class and annoying it can also be a matter of safety when you use these open online networks you never know who is watching and reading about what you have. I leave with sharing with you one of my favorite quotes is: The Empty Wagon Makes A Lot Of Noise.

 

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