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Love & Marriage

Love & Marriage

Love In All Forms

Love in all forms. Happy first week of February! The month best known for love being in the air with millions of people celebrating Valentine’s Day. While millions celebrate many more millions dread this day in fear of not having that special someone in their lives. To those people I say:WAKE UP! Love is NOT only about being in a relationship or constantly being in a state of wanting. It is about valuing and developing all relationships in your life. Friends, family, work relationships.

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I want to take this time to remind us all not to neglect all other relationships in our lives.

The relationship between you and your significant other. – How has that been? Have you been communicating well? Have you each taken the time to show eachother in your own way appreciation for eachother? Have you taken time to be alone and go on a date?

Your relationship with your children? or One with your parents? – How is that communication? Have you taken time to spend some quality time with them? Do you know what is new in their lives? Successes or struggles or goals?

Relationship with friends – Have you taken the time to check in with them? Sometimes a simple Instagram or Facebook stalking can help…. see what has been going on in their lives and comment on things if that is all the time you have! Picking up the phone of course is always preferred, but with busy lives I understand it makes it difficult to carve out sometime.

…and your pets! Don’t forget them! I swear they have better emotional instincts than we do! They know and feel your love and attention so if you have been busy show them some love and plan a dog park weekend!

Take some time this month to remember and acknowledge all “Loving” relationships in your life.

Love & Marriage, Wedding

5 Things To Do After You Get Engaged

Congratulations! You are engaged! Every girl dreams of it. Every girl can’t stop thinking about it when it happens to them: The moment they get engaged. Here are 5 things to do after you get engaged.

I joined the club this last December when my boyfriend of 3 years grabbed a microphone (yes people homey proposed using a mic!) got down on one knee, popped the question and busted out a beautiful Tiffany round diamond engagement ring. My answer: “of course!” with snot running down my face not looking too cute! I am surprised he didn’t think twice because I had one of those ugly cries. Needless to say I was completely surprised and extremely happy.

When he proposed

When he proposed

For the married ones reading this maybe it will bring some nostalgia to you to remind you of that special day he asked the question and I hope that you are as in love with each other if not more than you were on that day. For my single ladies nothing wrong with being single. It is the predecessor of being engaged. And for the newly engaged ones here are 5 tips to share with you on what to do after you get engaged.

1. Make sure you tell your most loved people first, before publically airing the news on all social media profiles
So your mom and your best friend who live in a different state found out about your engagement through your Facebook status?? Yeah not a very good move. Such a special moment in your life needs to be shared with these people you hold dear to your heart first. They value and love you so showing them that they are important by giving them an “in” on what happened in your life before the 13 year old neighbor of yours finds out is pretty damn important.

2. Don’t talk about how “expensive” or big your ring is.

Can you say low class? I always feel that people who have to publically share how much they paid for something or how “expensive” something is just make themselves look that much cheaper. We can all see the size of your ring and the size of the diamond so you don’t have to inform anyone. Let the ring be shared and admired by others on its own.

3. Do share a nice photo of the ring.
The ring is like your mans trophy. Give him some public recognition on what awesome taste he has and what big b@lls he has to take this step into manhood. Personally, I was so proud of my man for selecting something so beautiful for me on his own without me knowing so excuse me if I praise it 🙂 I have NEVER been into jewerly until this…I guess I care about what it represents.. nothing wrong with that! 5 things to do after you get engaged

4. Get your ring insured.
I am not a diamond expert nor an insurance one, but I do know that insuring your ring is one of the first things you should do. Every ring should be appraised for its value by a certified appraisal company who specializes in diamonds. Next you should find out if your current homeowners insurance covers your ring if not look for an independent company. Take lots of pictures of the ring for documentation purposes.

5. Don’t rush into a wedding, but do set a date.
There is no rule or expiration date on when you should get married after becoming engaged so don’t rush into it, but in my opinion the days of being engaged for 6 years and still not making a commitment are over! Engagement is not a “screensaver” for your relationship. Men you really shouldn’t think that just because you popped the question means you have a guaranteed full time faithful girlfriend without all the “wife” responsibilities. Many women get stuck in these long term “girlfriend” roles and stay with a man another 3-5 even 10 years being “engaged” without them ever taking that real step into forming a marriage or taking a more formal step such as home ownership, babies, etc. Whatever your hear fancies! My point is don’t hang around as a girlfriend. There is something very important about having the “set the date” talk. Set a date. Set a budget. Set an objective and then start working towards realizing it.


6. BONUS: Remember that an engagement is just an initial step towards what really matters: Developing a long lasting loyal, respectful, faithful and loving marriage.

Love & Marriage, People Skills, Personal Growth

The Dying Art Of Communication

I wasn’t alive nor did I experience those times when men used to serenate their women or where they formally asked the girl to be their girlfriend. Your thinking “Common Adriana, that’s some Brady Bunch sh*t! Were in 2010!” And yes I too also know how to check my calendar and know the date, thank you for the reminder.

What I want to point out and have realized about “2010” is the lack of verbal communication or shall I better state it as the transition from verbal communication to virtual communication.

It seems like the days when people would pick up the phone to talk to someone or invite them out to get to know them has been over shadowed by  an overwhelming need to use email, messaging or text messages instead of using your mouth to talk to people.

Now I’m not an anti-tech person, in fact I’m one of the biggest supporters of mass communication and technology.I am a self proclaimed geek. I welcome every bit of it and I am thankful for the people who invented these things to make are lives easier. God Bless Tech Geeeeekkkkkss!!!!

Question is does this ease bring breed misfortune?

Does it harm other areas of our lives without us even knowing??

I tweet in the morning, tweet in the evening, tweet, tweet, tweet and text, text, text. I think I can compete with the best of them when it comes to communicating via these channels, but more and more I have realized that the added convenience of communication has taken a huge hit on human to human contact and communication.

I have been guilty of texting or sending my roommate a private message asking them something when they are in the room next to me!! Hahaha you know you have done it also! Or maybe you wished someone a happy birthday via message and forgot to “call” them.

Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt and the hat!

The all mighty question is up to when? Or how much of this can you do before you feel like your best friend is the keyboard and your cell phone?

Or before you lose the art of making someone smile?

Or knowing how to start a conversation?

Or what to say to someone you care about?

If you start speaking more in “LOLs” “BRBs” or “SMH” then read on.

I have a lot to say about this subject and don’t intend to say it all in this first write up, but I will start with as a society we have become terrible “people-persons”

I don’t know if that’s grammatically correct if you haven’t figured out by my past writing English is not my forte and I haven’t hired someone to “clean” up my writing because frankly I don’t want to and don’t care to, so deal with it. ok so back to people being lame and not knowing how to interact.

See the human touch is powerful!

Remember that old saying “People make the world go round”????????????????

Despite all our cool statuses and tweets and places you visit if you find yourself doing all this “stuff” by yourself or the number of “followers” isn’t quite the number of people that show up to your birthday party or whom you would be able to call if you had car trouble and they would actually help pick you up then the all important question is: Does It All Really Matter??

Are you really enjoying yourself? And are you finding fulfillment in your life?

So bottom line is in Adriana’s words: Who gives a flying f*@$ if you are by yourself.

Im not suggesting we go to our neighbors hold hands and sing kumbaya. I am urging us to reflect a little on how much time, energy and effort we put into solidifying the current relationships we have in your life and ask ourselves if we have taken any steps in increasing our network.

For those of you who think “man I don’t need to have more friends, I’m cool I got Bret, Mike, Ted, Logan from Phi Sigma Gamma Wanna Sleep WithYa, I don’t need more friends” then I would like to explore this question more with you next time, so stay tuned and in the mean time go change your status, go LIKE me on Facebook.

And Tweet and Text about what you just read … hahaha 🙂

Love & Marriage, My Thoughts, Personal Growth, Relationships, Travel

Make Time For Dinner

When was the last time you sat and enjoyed a dinner amongst friends? Was it last Thanksgiving? Or maybe your birthday? Well on my recent trip to Spain I learned to enjoy 2 hour dinners and NOT feel anxious… I know as a workaholic that I am I was surprised myself! I discovered and experienced life at a halt. I mean that in a good way. Not a halt like you are not progessing, but more of a halt that sometimes you do need to stop and smell the roses. Or in this case enjoy a lavish dinner, lots of wine and great conversation for a 4 hour period…and they call that “normal”. Americans may only do that a few times a year. Possibly during a birthday dinner, Christmas dinner and Thanksgiving and even then I doubt you really sit there and enjoy the conversations with the people next and in front of you for 3 hours. Or do you?
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Can you really have a 2 hour dinner with Spanish friends without getting anxious?? I was tested on my last trip. I passed! I actually really enjoyed it.
CNN recently had an article about 8 reason to make time for family dinner. Here were their 8 reasons:
1.Supper can be a stress reliever
2. Kids might learn to love their veggies
3. It’s the perfect setting for new foods
4. You control the portions
5. Healthy meals mean healthy kids
6. Family dinners help kids “just say no” to smoking, drugs, and drunk driving
7. Better food, better report card
8. Put a little cash in your pocket
more here: http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/25/living/family-dinner-h
That was CNNS reasons to make time for dinner. What are yours?
Well I can tell you that I learned a lot from this behavior of having and enjoying a meal. I learned to focus on one task and enjoy my meals and the company of good friends. I like many of you on Monday thru Friday have a quick dinner. My boyfriend and I either sit around the living room catching up on all the celebrity gossip shows or we are eating while we are catching up on emails or internet browsing. Weekends is when we induldge in good enjoyable dinners, but never to the extent of the Spaniards. So I learned to enjoy more. To focus on dinner when it is dinner. To enjoy my meals and the company  I am with. I should have figured this out years ago! As an ex fat tortilla girl one key factor in maintaining good healthy weight is chewing! yes chewing! lol Thinking about what you are eating and enjoying your food to fulfill your craving. But I didnt learn. It wasnt untill I traveled to Spain that I learned to enjoy dinners daily.
So just a quick tip that I am sure will only enrich your life and your experience. Take time to have a dinner not just feed yourself. Slow down. Put the email away. Try to even turn off your TV. Sit. Eat. Talk. Enjoy!
Love & Marriage, Relationships

What Does It Mean To Be Dating

What does it mean to be dating? We hear this word all the time “Oh we are just dating” or “I am just dating” or “I need to go on more dates” So what does it mean to be dating??

In my opinion dating doesn’t mean to settle. I am a huge supporter of dating and of people finding and getting into relationships with amazing and great people. People who can bring out the best in you and who can make your life enjoyable, but often times I feel people rush into relationships just for the sake of not being alone. As much of propagator I am for relationships I am also a HUGE propagator that it is better to be single than to be stuck in a bad relationship or one with someone who is well to say the least just “ugh”.

Often I feel the need to explain what “dating” means. Dating in my opinion is like leasing a car. Drive it around a bit and see if you like it. You test out! You try out! And guess what?? There is a return policy when you are DATING.

Dating means meet more men and women.
Go out socially with them.
Get to know them.
Kiss and get a little freak nasty with them.
Then maybe call or never call them again.

Or if you find yourself liking them and they have grown on you and you feel you have found something you truly enjoy and love, then BUY it! Put a ring on it! Make it yours. If you’re not too sure… I suggest pick up another car and try that one out. That my friends in my opinion is “Dating”. No commitments. Just a bunch of test drives.

Now here are somethings you should avoid:

1. If you are not very into that guy or girl do not “date” for too long. You will be sending the wrong signal. Just move on go find you another one to test drive!

2. Don not expect for the guy or girl you are with to be loyal to you, if you are seeing more than one person…and if you are seeing someone else even as a love shack casual “walk of shame” then be open about it do not hide it. Karma is a B****

3. If you are dating someone and you REALLY DO like them.. then don’t be a chick sh*t and take the next step. Turn it into a serious mutual exclusive relationship. Worst thing is the guy or girl who wants the exclusivity, but is afraid to commit. It is like trying to get a free trial over and over again.

I often tell my clients if you have been what you would say “serious” with someone for over 3 years and you do not see the relationship going anywhere then why stay longer??? I was once in a long term relationship that just was not good. We were good as friends just not as a relationship. Worst mistake we both made was stay together and ride it till the wheels fell off! So If its been say 3 years and neither you nor them have taken a step then my thoughts are why wait around. Time is precious and so is your youth! so go find someone else who will appreciate you and will want to “buy now” and share a wonderful life with you.

How else do you think you will find the person whom you are best with and who you are completely in love with?

I do believe in high school sweethearts and that you do not have to date 100 people or even 5 to find someone you really fall in love with. My point is only you know if your truly happy with someone or if you are only with that person out of fear of being alone.

You see the whole thing about dating is searching for someone whom you have that “oh yeah” feeling and “click” with. Nothing can be more disappointing than a great person wasting away their time in a bad relationship or with someone who just isn’t that good to them. Youth and your prime dating age is ticking away so why waste it getting more and more entwined with someone that you really aren’t jumping up and down and swinging a terrible towel around for.

The world has so much more! Imagine if all you drove was a used tractor. Bumpy, dirty, slow as hell! And you never took a ride on a luxury sports car. Smooth, fast, young, vibrant and exhilarating! My wish for the ladies and the men out there is to not be afraid to be single. To be bold. To want to become better and more confident so you can go out there date more! If you feel you need a little guidance or some dating pin pointers check out my coaching services CLICK HERE

HAVE YOUR OWN OPINION ABOUT DATING? LEAVE US A COMMENT AND SHARE WITH US WITH YOU THINK BELOW.

Love & Marriage, Relationships

Does Sex Drive Die With Age?

Does sex drive die with age. Do our sex lives really start to suck at age 28 and 34? What a LIE!! At least I would have to speak for myself. Mine has arrived and it is here to stay! Can I hear an AMEN! If you feel me then LEAVE a COMMENT BELOW 🙂

But look for yourself here is the full article from MSN written below:

“If you’re a 33-year-old man or a 28-year-old woman, enjoy getting it on while it lasts. Researchers have pinpointed those as the ages at which men and women enjoy the best sex of their lives. The survey also determined that men generally lose their virginity around 18 and are most sexually active around age 29, while women tend to have sex for the first time around age 17 and are most active at age 25, reinforcing that “practice makes perfect” truism. The survey, conducted by the British sex-toy company Lovehoney, contradicts previous findings that men reach peak sexuality at age 18, women at 30. It’s a sad day indeed in “cougar” land.”

LINK to article http://now.msn.com/living/0528-best-sex-survey.aspx

I really find it hard to believe that people can loose there sex drive at that age because at 18 to 26 I was miss awkward and non sexual. Now as I have matured I feel sexier and more sexual than ever! (and it doesn’t hurt that I have an amazing partner…) Now if you are sadly in this category then please do check out my link on COACHING SERVICES not only can I help you meet the right man or woman… you have to make sure your sex drive gets resuscitated and well… he or she’s doesn’t run away from you!

Add a Comment Below and Share With Me If You Have Other Suggestions

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Love & Marriage, My Thoughts, People Skills

How To Get Out Of A Bad Date

How To Get Out Of A Bad Date

 

 

Been on a bad date? If you have been dating, I am sure you have! In this video I show you how to get out of a bad date. So next time you do not have to waste your time with a dochebag!  Watch the video to learn exactly what you need to do so you know how to get out of a bad date. For better dates keep reading my blog for dating tips and advice so you can avoid the bad ones! Enjoy!

 

Been on a bad date? Share with me how you got out of it. Comment BELOW. If you liked this video share it with a friend and show me some love with a LIKE!

Love & Marriage, My Thoughts, Personal Growth, Relationships

Social Media Bad Manners

This has to be one of the most annoying and worst things you can do for your own image… why use social networks to talk bad about YOUR significant other? Maybe you got in a fight and you are upset. Maybe you have issues with communication and not being able to express yourself you’re your half emo so you rather sit behind a computer and talk badly or express your frustrations with your other half to your online friends. Ok you are forgiven. However, if after reading this and you continue or you know a friend who does this and you let them continue then shame on you!

My question to you is, “why are you still with this person???” If they cause you so much anger, pain, annoyance and everything else, is the $ex really that good?? Maybe it is your sugar momma/daddy and your bills need to get paid somehow. Or is it that you are married? Whatever it is, in my opinion you have no excuse. I have said it again and again: I rather eat beans for the rest of my life than to be so dependent of someone financially that I have to put up with fights, rules and just a lot of unhappiness.
I know of several people in business with others where they put up with their business partners unrealistic expectations and just odd “rules”. They pretty much sell their freedom and soul to them to trade it for money. How sad. In relationships I hope that if there is true love buried somewhere that the two parties involve have enough patience and understanding where they can work it out. In the mean time watch what you put out to the public.

Don’t post cryptic status messages for all to see every time you get into a fight. Posts cryptic status messages that make it obvious you are pissed at whatever guy/girl you’re dating at the time is not cool. If you have mutual friends and all those same friends are seeing your negative post about the guy/girl all your friends know, you are only making your friends feel awkward and of course wonder what’s going on…here are some examples:

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you..”

Oh and “It’s Complicated” Relationship Status

“What’s good for tonight? Tryna find somethin to do since my boyfriend would rather go to a whack ass club..smfh”

Bottom line is, don’t air your dirty laundry out in public. If you have major issues keep reading my post, contact me so you can work on becoming a better communicator so you can address these and any issues. Have some funny annonymous relationship social network status you want to share?

Love & Marriage, My Thoughts, Relationships

The 5 Love Languages

If you have ever wondered why your girlfriend never seems to be content or happy when you by her gifts? Or maybe that he never seems to care that you do errands around the house? We all have our own little way of showing how we love others and how we like to be loved. If you believe that we are all created equal and can be treated the exact same way then you must also believe in the tooth fairy and should not ignore this post. Several years ago I came across this book and I learned about this theory of the The 5 love languages it really changed my life and I give it credit for helping me create and maintain a loving, respectful & abundant relationship with my fiance, but I would be naive to think what to me feels like a fairytale relationship, would stay this way on it’s own without some bumps in the road. So the 5 love languages are an important to understand. Here is a quick video to help you visually see and understand the 5 love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch.

Relationships and people are ever growing beings! We are like plants. We will have our times of full bloom and our times when our flowers die and a time when the soil we are planted in needs time to replenish its nutrients in the soil…to bloom again. During this metamorphosis, we as the girlfriends, wives, husbands, etc . of someone can be ugly, irrational, unappreciative people. So are ALL relationships that go through these withering times bound to fail? How then do you explain those that rebound from these times and grow stronger together?
In my opinion bad relationships boil down to two people not chemically connected (which means they wouldn’t be dating too long) and for those in a long relationship turning sour it is most likely two people speaking the incorrect love language to one another and a lot of misunderstanding. If you have ever felt unappreciative, not loved, respected and not wanted it may not always be that your partner really doesn’t love you he or she is simply speaking to you in the wrong love language.

I cannot stress to you enough if you are in a relationship to familarize yourself with this theory and understand the 5 languages of love. So what is your love language? Stop hesitating and click here to take the test and learn more!http://www.5lovelanguages.com

Share with us what Love Language you are! Leave me a comment below or connect with me on FACEBOOK

Love & Marriage

How Hobbies Help Your Relationship

How Can Hobbies Help? Can they help you personally? At work? In a relationship? I think all of the above. Here I discuss how hobbies can really help you have a successful and happy relationship. Wether it is cooking, a sport, pastime, something anything can really help keep you and your significant other keep that relationship love steaming.

When my fiance wanted to get a dog, I supported the idea. I had not had a dog since I was a little kid and even then I was not the one taking care of it, so I really did not know what to expect. Well let me tell ya, I love that dog! And we even got a second dog! I am sharing this story because our dogs have become in a way a hobby or a pastime for us. We enjoy doing activities for our pups together. Many times we may think hobbies mean spending money, but that does not have to be the case. Meet Buzz and Bella… our awesome Boston Terriers!

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One great thing we enjoy doing together and it has become another hobby of ours is cooking. What better thing than to prepare a meal together to then be able to enjoy it together. I am not a natural at cooking. I admit being pretty terrible. The last couple of months of cooking together has really made me a better cook and has opened me up to a new hobby.

 

We LOVE riding bikes, snowboarding, adventure stuff of all types together too!

 

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What if you do not live together? Not a problem! None of what I have mentioned needs to be done with someone you live. If you only see each other on weekends that is great and very doable.
So stop making excuses ad find something you both enjoy and make a point to do it together and become better at it.