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Motherhood, People Skills, Personal Growth

One Trait We All Need To Teach Our Children

One Trait we all need to teach our children is Confidence. As kids it is winning in the playground and havng friends at lunch. As adults it translates to career success and sex appeal. What Is It And How Can You Get Some?  My response is  CONFIDENCE

If there is one skill I intend to cultivate in my children it being confident. Confidence gets you friends, gains you experience, keeps you focused, goal oriented and more importantly teaches you to respect your self.

Growing up neither Mark nor I were the kids who grew up in rich neighborhoods or had cool cars or clothes, but one thing we both had was confidence. Mark says he didn’t become confident until college when he stopped being shy and started to hangout with better people. I would consider myself as confident from an early age. My parents “shoved” me into swim lessons at age 3, dance and other “performance” type of activities. I may have been to young to remember my first puplic performances, but I attribute those moments to the fact that by 6th grade in elementary school I was able to run for class president and do a speech in front of my entire school body….. Confidence.

Confidence gets your kids the ability to say “no I am cool, don’t need to smoke weed”

“Nah I am not drinking tonight because I am driving home”

As adults confidence plays a role in your professional career and love life.

Don’t we all know that not so good looking guy or girl but they always
seem to date good looking and great people?

Ever think “man she’s too pretty for him” or vice versa?

When I was asked this question I quickly placed myself back to that
moment when I knew I was attracted to my husband. I asked myself what made me feel
attraction to them. Or I ask myself Hummmmm what Do I like about them?
What turns me on about them? What makes me want to see or talk to them
again? It was this thing called “sex appeal”

See you can meet a great person, intelligent good conversationalists,
kind, loving, etc but that don’t mean you want to get with them. Something about them doesn’t quite move you like
that.

We can say they are somewhat confident but they don’t quite move you.
Lord knows I had met many men prior to Mark that were like this that leave me with the “eh”
feeling. I leave impressed about them, but that’s about it.

What was it about him or other people that just ooze sex appeal?

Again my only logical answer is their
confidence.

Confident people are not afraid to point out their faults. If they have
messed up hair or teeth or a weird laugh, they are likely to point it out. They also point out things others would let slide like when you’re talking and you know
your not fully listening they would be the ones to say ” hey let’s
talk some other time because I can tell your not listening to me and I
rather talk when you can listen”
They are also the people who despite not having a perfect six pack
although that is welcomed and are usually never slobs can be
comfortable in their own skin and perform as if they were GQ model or Women with sex appeal would feel like they are a 36-24-36!IMG_20130629_194126

What does Confidence look like?    Like this————->  

hahaha ok you know I am favoring someone! But serioulsy here are some things

* It Walks With Purpose – When you enter a room do you have a destination? Do you know where you are headed? Or do you lollygag your way around and pause and walk and then turn around to where you entered?

* It Stands Tall– How is your body posture? Are you the hunch back of Norte Dame? Are your shoulders back, chin up? How you stand projects how you feel.

* It SMILES- Genuine, cheesy show me your teeth smile!

* It Makes Eye Contact – Not the creepy weirdo kind, but an intense “ I acknowledge you” look. Nothing turns me on more than a mans ability to look me in the eyes when I am talking and when he is talking to me!

* Wears Fashionable Clothing that “FITS” well- Cowboy boots, flip flops, suits, workout clothes, dressed, etc. Whatever it is, it is worn well and FITS not only physically but it fits who they are and what they do. Worst is someone who is NOT a beachbum pretend to be one or a wanna be 20 something year old who is really 50.

I can comfortably say that when I first met Mark he had all of the above and still does! That is why I married him!  Developing confidence within yourself is also possible. Learn to accept who you are and what you like first and not try to make yourself be someone you think others want to see. Loving and accepting yourself are the first signs of developing confidence.

 

Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts

Why Men Who Work Hard Are Attractive To Women

Why Men Who Work Hard Are Attractive To Women. Who go to work. Who fix things and drill and kill bugs when we see them. It’s in our nature. I didn’t write the human code or our DNA or talk to Adam and Eve about their issues, I just know it’s a fact of life and it’s a fact of male and women tendencies.  I am so thankful that my husband is one of those men. I grew up around a laboror man.. my father is the hardest working man I know! This man cannot just sit around. He knows how to relax, but prefers to be doing something. He helps around the house without hesitation …always. Recently we had to have a tree removed from our yard… my dad and Mark came to the rescue. I tried telling them to just hire someone, but bought hesitated to accept and decided to just do it  themselves. 20150107_115427

Women are made to give. They are adaptable and they love to please others. Women are always asking “what can I do for my man?” Women are thinking about the little things to do for you. The little notes to plant in your pockets. The dinners and romantic evenings she planned for the two of you. Basically all the things you as a man probably overlook and never gave a shit about! Hahaha. Women need to feel safe and they love acknowledgement! The “thank you” the “that dinner was amazing!” Not to get too much into it, because this article is about how women love men who labor, but to narrow it down to two fundamental needs a women has is acknowledgement and the sense of feeling “safe”.

As a man, how do you make a woman feel safe? Is it that you parade around like a bodyguard when you’re out in public? NO! I mean don’t get me wrong no woman wants to date a pansy, someone who can’t stand up for themselves or someone that wouldn’t confront a rude man who is trying to cause problems.

What I’m talking about is this,
The most important “safety” a woman cares about and needs is that the man she is with will always assume the role of the “Hunter”. Back in the days it literally was that, the men hunted and they brought home the food and items that would be used for shelter and survival. Obviously the tables have turned and there is no need for you to walk in to your home grabbing the fish by its head, but the “hunter” in you must be present.

menatwork

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By hunting I mean, going out there and working. Producing. Cultivating. Improving your and your future partners life. Women despite the change in roles we have seen in this last century with many women hitting the work place and many times earning more income than their mates, still the inner desire and need to feel “safe” stems back to the man assuming the role as a “provider”.
Don’t buy into the hoop-la of “Independent woman” stuff. See a woman WILL and CAN be independent, but even if she is and needs nothing from you economically, KNOWING that you can be the provider if needed is exactly what every woman wants to know.

So men, get off your ass and step up your game.

On this LABOR day ask yourself what are you “LABORing” on. How are you creating value for yourself? Are you acquiring a new skill? Are you planning for the future? Are you increasing your network? All these are things that increase your value.

If you’re a conservative reading this article, you may ask “well what happened to the more important things like trust, love and understanding?” I never said those were not important, but keep in mind a woman can have that and find that with her best friend or some family member. The workings of a great relationship between male and female long term must also fulfill the female needs and prove that the man she is with can and will “take care” of her.

Then there are the men who think women are “gold diggers!” that is an insecure man’s way of thinking. He is thinking “oh she is going to use me” and if your dumb and don’t stand for yourself then a woman with bad intentions would use you, and who’s fault is that? Yours! Not the girls. You as a man also set your parameters and remember that ultimately you can never buy love. You can buy purses and vacations and jewelry, but never lust or love. If you turn her on you turn her on because of your energy with her not what you buy her. What you buy will only at best provide decent sex and a complain to hang out with you until she finds someone better. If that’s all your looking for then go ahead keep it up. If not, you must not rely on your finances alone.
Let me finish by telling you this. Men are like Cars. All have an engine, 4 tires, doors and if it’s a working car it turns on and drives. A woman shops around first by her emotion, what looks and smells good to her. Basically what turns her on sexually. After that, to keep her you must show you can be reliable and go the distance. The less you show her this the less she wants to “ride”. Your sex life diminishes your intimacy level decrease and next thing you know she will start telling you its ladies night every weekend!

So on LABOR day and all others Go To Work and like my favorite comedian Russell Peters says “Be-A-Man” these fundamental instincts we have are exactly that, fundamental despite the changes in society and our times women and men will continue to have basic fundamental needs.

Entrepreneur's Corner, Health & Fitness, My Thoughts

5 Tips For Better Sleep

Do you and your partner share a bedroom or do you have a playroom? So as I have previously shared I am one of millions of women reading Fifty Shades Of Grey. I found it quite interesting how they describe Christians’ “bedroom” as the “playroom” I paused for a minute and thought to myself is my bedroom a “playroom” enough? Through my conversations with clients and casual conversations with friends I realized most peoples’ bedrooms are not only NOT bedroom ready, but definitely not playroom ready either. I believe a bedroom whether you share it with someone or just yourself should be somewhere were two things are achieved: Rest and Recreation.

Here are 5 quick Tips to remake your bedroom for better relaxation or play, if that is what you want.

 

bettersleep
5 Tips For Better Sleep
1. Keep Your Bedroom Clean & Clutter Less

I know it sounds repetitive, but really people: Clean Your Room! Just like your momma taught you! A cluttered room will definitely not set the mood, but it is also hard to fall asleep and sleep well when you have to find your way to your bed with all your crap all over the place. You will find yourself restless and thinking of the things you have to do & clean. It is a physical sign that leaves you feeling cluttered and dirty.

2. For Good Fung Shui Have Bed With Feet Pointing Towards Door

Not a Fung Shui expert, but there you have it. This weekend do some rearranging and google all about it!

3. Avoid Displaying Photos

Don’t know about you, but if you have a picture of your mom staring at you from your night stand…. I am not too sure how “in the mood” you can get. I say leave the photo collage and family trees pics for other areas of the house. Your bedroom is like a sanctuary and you want to keep a minimal display of visualization that brings about emotions of :
A.) Accomplishment or goals( this will cause restlessness because you will want to start working on it ASAP if your anything like me)
B.) Love for family (It will scare away the tigress and bring out a wimpy kitty)

4. Nightstand Essentials

Water, baby wipes and paper towels.. yeah I said it! Trust me you will be thanking me one night as you reach over your convenient nightstand drawer 😉

5. Sturdy Bed & Mattress

Ok people get your head out of the gutter!! Nah, your right that was exactly what I was thinking. Nothing can annoy me and kill the mood more than an uncomfortable mattress and squeaky bed!

Add a Comment Below and Share With Me If You Have Other Suggestions

Add A Comment Here!

People Skills

5 Big Butt Etiquette Rules For Women

Have a KaDunkADunk? No problem! Here are 5 big butt etiquette rules to follow. Learn to love your big ol’butt. In many countries and cultures it is a blessing, so learn to appreciate it. However having a big butt does have its issues so read on to learn the 5 big butt etiquette rules to follow.  
5.) Avoid White Or Grey Leggings/Spandex
Take note, leggings mark dangerous turf and grey and white are natural expanders and you don’t know how many times I have seen women with these things plastered on like they were painted on.This then exposes all the cottage cheese associated with the big butt and well ladies not a nice thing to see or to show to a man. Also, shirts that fall below the crotch are necessary with leggings too -TRUST.  Depending on your tolerance for public panting or display of your big booty, you may want to consider a cease and desist.

4.) Play It Cool During Big Butt Anthems
This is a hard one, I know. Now I would never recommend anyone deprive themselves the great satisfaction of delivering a proper  stanky leg rendition. However, I would advise  practicing personal reservation during a$$ anthem music. Not as a public safety measure nor as a preventative measure to deactivate ignorance (afterall, a$$ anthems summon it) but just because its horribly cliche.  Don’t be the first, second, or third chick to take it low and sweep the floor. I say, be the fifth… Yea fifth is good.

3.) Low-Cut Jeans Are Not Your Friends
I got to be real, crack IS whack! You may not like this rule especially since so many of the latest trends involve the low cut skinny jeans,but you gotta deal with it chick, you can’t participate in this fashion trend. Simply because no matter what notch you fasten that belt to, your booty crack will be exposed1 Go for high-waisters, they flesh out your shape and are much more flattering.

2.) Mini Skirts and Shorts

It may be hot and they may look good on others, but if you have a big butt it is just to risky to expose the very likely cottage cheese sections of your butt and thighs. Opt for longer skirts or if you decide to wear a mini, make sure it is only in the fall when you can wear some nice opaque tights to hold it all in.

1.) Save the Best for Last
True story. If you do it from the back as kickoff, you might not make it to the end of the show. He will enjoy it so much it will make you wonder when it will end and when he can get back to pleasing you…but sadly it never happens. So save the best for last and make him work for it!

Big butt or small butt we all as ladies share many things in common despite how we were shaped in the world of dating and not only do I know this, but I also understand the physiology behind every woman, I know What Every Man Wants.

I was single for many years, but never alone. I always managed to have a date and being able to get one seemed to come easy, but it wasn’t always like that. I have spent many years learning from experts and thru trial and error of my own dating life learning and discovering the things all men love in women. I have now mastered the art of conversation and how to date more great men and for the men I know what women like. SO if you haven’t connected with me already go ahead and subscribe to my newsletter at www.adrianagomez.com. Look forward to connecting with you!

 

 

Love & Marriage, My Thoughts, People Skills

How To Get Out Of A Bad Date

How To Get Out Of A Bad Date

 

 

Been on a bad date? If you have been dating, I am sure you have! In this video I show you how to get out of a bad date. So next time you do not have to waste your time with a dochebag!  Watch the video to learn exactly what you need to do so you know how to get out of a bad date. For better dates keep reading my blog for dating tips and advice so you can avoid the bad ones! Enjoy!

 

Been on a bad date? Share with me how you got out of it. Comment BELOW. If you liked this video share it with a friend and show me some love with a LIKE!

My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth

Why People Block You On Facebook

If Facebook is supposed to connect you, why do people get on it and then block you? In a time where technology has grown to be such a large part of our lives and well when it comes to dating, it has been a huge resource to engage and contact millions. So why do people have these accounts to make their lives public and easily accessible to people, only to block others? Why People Block You on Facebook?

blockedOnFacebook

Well one obvious reason is that you are creepy maybe a registered sex offender, you are harassing them, or you are just annoying. In which I agree and ALSO would and have block several people.

Now what is the explanation for the other blocking??

Well I have my fair share of both blocking people and being blocked and this is what I have narrowed it down too:

1. You Know Wayyyyy Too Much Crap About Them

Oh let me tell you, if something makes someone hide more it is them finding out that “You Know” That you know the truth. The truth about them, their past, there dirty little secrets and unethical ways…  I just wish that the same people who “hide” or “block” you would realize that their little lives revolve around hanging around the same people, same places and same little town. Guess what? The world is small and the truth always, always comes out.

 

2. Being The “Ex- Girlfriend/Boyfriend”

Unless you are stuck in middle school, we all have had and been in a relationship. For the people out there who think the first guy you date is the one you marry I have news for you: It isn’t always like that. If it is good for you. If not guess what?? You will be at one point or another the “EX” and have “exes”.   If you fall in the “Crazy ex category” then you deserve to be blocked and I would block you too! I would give you the “Outta my life button!”  And if you have been this crazy ex bf/gf realize your  ex doesn’t want to hear from you or have you constantly still nagging them…isnt that why he left you?? And then there is the time when the “EX” blocks you the new guy/girl. I can understand this especially when the new guy/girl witnessed some of the crazy ex pyscho activity… So to all the girls who have been dumped, don’t be the crazy pyscho girl then you will never have to block the people who witnessed your outbreak. I know its embarrassing to know that person witness your hoopla so just don’t do it anymore.

3. You Are Annoying

I admit I may be on peoples Block list for this… I write a lot about dating, relationships umm possibly some things that may offend people. It is ok I deal with it. So yeah, if you talk a lot about things people just have NO interest in such as ummm you constantly posting about:

– Your relationship and how much it sucks…

– How sooooo many guys/girls gawk at you and your just Gods Gift to women/men… (why are you still single then??)

– How terrible your life is…

– How fairytale of a life you have…

– How everyone should buy your MLM product…

This my friends causes you to be blocked….. again I admit for the non dating, relationship having or wanting folks, I’m just not that interesting and can be annoying. 🙂 It is ok, I still love ya!

Lastly, you block someone because you just don’t like them and want nothing to do with them. To you, they don’t exist. Sounds harsh, but its the truth and sometimes in life you have to learn how to make those type of decisions to “cut the fat” out of your life and keep only the meaningful relationships. God knows I have done a lot of bothering of bad relationships out of my life recently and you know what… it feels sooooo good! I invite you to get weak, negative, drag-ya-down-do-nothing-positive-to-your-life relationships out of your life. 

Learn to attract then build great relationships you may need a little help. Check out some of the services I offer (see you may block me after this one) check it out here http://adrianagomez.com/dating-coach-services/

Lets Connect http://facebook.com/msadrianagomez

 

Love & Marriage, People Skills, Relationships

Dating Your Friend

In dating, sometimes what you are looking for can be right under your nose. In this post I expose the often ignored dating market that if considered can turn up surprising results. Dating your friend is one of the best things that can happen to you.

As many of you know I have been intrigued by business and capitalism since a young age. I began my first business venture at about the age of 7 when my older brother and I used to go around our neighborhood selling strawberries and tomatoes to all our neighbors, hey what can I say I was I’ve had the entrepreneur blood in me since birth! So “business philosophies” have always been present in my head.

Funny to even admit that it relates to my dating life and yes people, I do relate all my business strategies to dating.

So recently I “met” someone, I use quotations because I really didn’t “meet” them, I have known them for many years, but nonetheless the meeting this time was significantly different.

If you have ever been in any type of “sales” business or career, you know this quote all too well “Ratios, Ratios, Ratios” meaning, in order to be successful you have to keep on doing the same activity over and over again until you “strike” and succeed at whatever it is you are doing.

And in sales and business development, the same is true that you are more likely to find success from a “repeat” client or pitching someone you have at one point already “pitched” than a business or person that is encountering you for the first time.

Well recently that has proven to be the case in my dating life. The last few years I have spent living in both the East and West coast and meeting tons of men. I’ve enjoyed the casual meet ups, the dinners, the parties, the spontaneous dates, the conversations, etc… everything that is involved in dating! Everyone that I have dated however has been “new clients” meaning new people that I did not know from before.

Most recently that changed and I was open to date an old friend of mine. It was not planned; it just kind of happened and what I learned from the experience drew me to share an often ignored venue that most of you singles who are out dating completely neglect…. The venue is………….. YOUR FRIENDS or FRIENDS of FRIENDS!!!

I know… I know what you might be thinking “The people who have seen me all crusty eyed from last years ski trip? The People who know all my dirty lil secrets? The ones who you may have had a burping contest with or scream at the top of your lunges with? Them? Date my friends??

Some of you may argue the fact that you “don’t want to mess up the friendship” and I agree with that too. There should be careful strategic actions that must be in place, but from my observations I can state that the positives most definitely out weigh the negatives and here are reasons why.

1. They Already Know You.

Your argument maybe that they know you too much, but bottom line is they know you so if there is interest you have to know it is genuine because they know your good, bad and quirky side! Surprises about each others personality is limited… well of course, there ARE something’s only you would disclose with someone you are intimate with… so let that be the surprises!

2. You Share A Lot In Common

Last year, you went skiing together, same concert, and possibly practiced the same sport. You get along for a reason. Commonality is a very important trait in a successful relationship. Maybe you and this person went thru similar life experiences. Faced similar ups and downs in life. Having shared experiences means endless conversational pieces. And think about it, if you are there friend there is obviously similar interest in mind.

3. Skip The Awkwardness Phase

Thank God! Avoid the “What is your favorite color? Or Food questions” Get right to the good stuff! You may experience a different type awkward feeling. Like the kind you get when you first hold this “friends” hand or share a first kiss. You’d ask yourself “How the hell did this happen??” But this feeling can be exciting, if our mentality is towards it is positive rather than negative.

4. There Is Trust

I can’t really explain this, but the fact this individual might have crashed over one night at your house or a summer at your parents place and they didn’t steal anything or make a cheap move on you… I think that’s fair to say there is trust! Or that they do know some of your “shameful” stories and they didn’t blast your gossip. You share a certain level of comfort with this person, feeling safe around them.

5. His/Her Friends Already Like You.

Vacations, weekends, parties, hangouts are just that much more comfortable…. Well at least a bit until your friends realize the two of you actually hooked up! Hahaha, but this helps stir up some interesting conversations. Sometimes meeting the person you are dating friends can be nerve racking so save yourself the trouble!

I also want to add and put out a disclaimer that as “lovey dovey” as this may seem or “innocent” like “ahhh date your friend” don’t get me wrong if there isn’t any sexual chemistry of lust it is not going to be fun or successful, sexual chemistry is a must!

The point of this post is sometimes what you’re looking for can be just under your nose. Just as you would do when working on growing any business or professional venture you have, sometimes the people, businesses and connections you have done prior business with or have establish a relationship with are the ones whom will come thru when it most matters.

Cheers! To extraordinary friendships and endless relationships.
Meet More People, Get Noticed On adrianagomez.com

My Thoughts, People Skills

What I Learned As an Undercover Guest At A Singles Event

…..That 99.9% of the men in attendance are dooshbags and every woman there is so un confident and desperate.
That is all for this post.

Ok you all know me too well that I usually have more to say. So I headed to a local lounge where I was throwing a Jersey Shore preimer viewing party (DISCLAIMER: I watch the Jersey Shore because I get a kick out of how funny real life can be and I am amazed and like to learn to see how this show attracts so many viewers making it a highly grossing TV show)
So upon my arrival of the venue to my surprise there was a singles night event going on. I thought “how interesting”. I took myself to the side found a seat and completely batted one after the other lame pick up line from guys who were there attending the event. Clearly I did not have a name tag and well my outfit choice for the night of black long sleeve tee and jeans clearly wasn’t in “prowling mode” wearing sexy clothing.
Anyway so I just sat at the bar and listened. I listened some more. And I listened again.
I listened to all the guys in their give their “play by play” on what they would have done if their girl gave them their number.
If the girl went home with them that night.
If the girl had been interested.
It was disgusting and it was quite sad how these men thought they had so much game, but they were… alone.

lesson learned is:

1. Be more picky as to how and where you go to meet singles. When you throw 100 people in a room it starts feeling like black Friday. Like everything is limited and on sale and you have to rush to just grab and pick up something.

I am not discouraging attending singles events or meeting other singles, but I would suggest find another mode where you can StrikeUp a conversation with someone more in a one-on-one setting.

#2. Ladies you can do better. Have a better strategy than just submit yourself to an event where the guy to girl ratio is 10:2

#3. When you settle for anything, you get nothing.