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Personal Growth

Motherhood, People Skills, Personal Growth

One Trait We All Need To Teach Our Children

One Trait we all need to teach our children is Confidence. As kids it is winning in the playground and havng friends at lunch. As adults it translates to career success and sex appeal. What Is It And How Can You Get Some? My response is CONFIDENCE

If there is one skill I intend to cultivate in my children it being confident. Confidence gets you friends, gains you experience, keeps you focused, goal oriented and more importantly teaches you to respect your self.

Growing up neither Mark nor I were the kids who grew up in rich neighborhoods or had cool cars or clothes, but one thing we both had was confidence. Mark says he didn’t become confident until college when he stopped being shy and started to hangout with better people. I would consider myself as confident from an early age. My parents “shoved” me into swim lessons at age 3, dance and other “performance” type of activities. I may have been to young to remember my first puplic performances, but I attribute those moments to the fact that by 6th grade in elementary school I was able to run for class president and do a speech in front of my entire school body….. Confidence.

Confidence gets your kids the ability to say “no I am cool, don’t need to smoke weed”

“Nah I am not drinking tonight because I am driving home”

As adults confidence plays a role in your professional career and love life.

Don’t we all know that not so good looking guy or girl but they always
seem to date good looking and great people?

Ever think “man she’s too pretty for him” or vice versa?

When I was asked this question I quickly placed myself back to that
moment when I knew I was attracted to my husband. I asked myself what made me feel
attraction to them. Or I ask myself Hummmmm what Do I like about them?
What turns me on about them? What makes me want to see or talk to them
again? It was this thing called “sex appeal”

See you can meet a great person, intelligent good conversationalists,
kind, loving, etc but that don’t mean you want to get with them. Something about them doesn’t quite move you like
that.

We can say they are somewhat confident but they don’t quite move you.
Lord knows I had met many men prior to Mark that were like this that leave me with the “eh”
feeling. I leave impressed about them, but that’s about it.

What was it about him or other people that just ooze sex appeal?

Again my only logical answer is their
confidence.

Confident people are not afraid to point out their faults. If they have
messed up hair or teeth or a weird laugh, they are likely to point it out. They also point out things others would let slide like when you’re talking and you know
your not fully listening they would be the ones to say ” hey let’s
talk some other time because I can tell your not listening to me and I
rather talk when you can listen”
They are also the people who despite not having a perfect six pack
although that is welcomed and are usually never slobs can be
comfortable in their own skin and perform as if they were GQ model or Women with sex appeal would feel like they are a 36-24-36!

What does Confidence look like? Like this————->

hahaha ok you know I am favoring someone! But serioulsy here are some things

* It Walks With Purpose – When you enter a room do you have a destination? Do you know where you are headed? Or do you lollygag your way around and pause and walk and then turn around to where you entered?

* It Stands Tall– How is your body posture? Are you the hunch back of Norte Dame? Are your shoulders back, chin up? How you stand projects how you feel.

* It SMILES- Genuine, cheesy show me your teeth smile!

* It Makes Eye Contact – Not the creepy weirdo kind, but an intense “ I acknowledge you” look. Nothing turns me on more than a mans ability to look me in the eyes when I am talking and when he is talking to me!

* Wears Fashionable Clothing that “FITS” well- Cowboy boots, flip flops, suits, workout clothes, dressed, etc. Whatever it is, it is worn well and FITS not only physically but it fits who they are and what they do. Worst is someone who is NOT a beachbum pretend to be one or a wanna be 20 something year old who is really 50.

I can comfortably say that when I first met Mark he had all of the above and still does! That is why I married him! Developing confidence within yourself is also possible. Learn to accept who you are and what you like first and not try to make yourself be someone you think others want to see. Loving and accepting yourself are the first signs of developing confidence.

by CasaDeWinn

Entrepreneur's Corner, Personal Growth

How To Turn A World Tragedy, Into A Valuable Lesson

It took me a while to find the strength and the correct words to write this post. It was only a few weeks ago that the people of Japan experienced a tragic event unstoppable and unforeseen by no one. The tragic 9.0 magnitude earthquake struck on March 11th, 2011, leaving millions homeless and thousands with broken hearts with the lives of many of their loved ones lost.

I like many people have been keeping up to date and a watchful eye on the events that occurred in Japan. I am fortunate not to have been effected by this tragedy in a personal matter or have lost loved ones, but this event did strike a chord with me and it should with you as well.

Within seconds the world’s 3rd largest economy, after the US and China, Japan and its’ people were left with no running water and a very limited supply of food. And an even greater shift occurred within seconds Japan, the largest buyer of US Treasury debt after the Federal Reserve had to halt most of its purchases of US Treasuries, and as it rebuilds may likely begin selling what they currently own as they proceed with recovery process.

With the cash balance at the Treasury in the billions and an average spend rate equally just that, within hours we potentially faced a time when US government was less than 24 hours away from bankruptcy.
A few minutes. One unexpected event. One bad decision. One wrong word you regretfully say.

All examples of how quickly our lives and sustainability here on earth can be.

Now I have never been a fan of being “Miss Expect The Worst and Live Fearfully” , in fact I live by another motto “All Things Happen For A Reason” and in terms of fear of death and tragedy I have always felt “when it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go” despite how well you take care of yourself or how “careful” you are.
My grandpa, R.I.P, lived to his mid 80s, stronger than ever never visiting a doctor and drinking Tecate beer like it was his water, that does not mean I condone not caring for your body or being healthy, in fact I am very watchful of what I eat and how I care for my body, but it is not for the thought of this will make me live longer, it is more for the purpose of however long I do live, let me live it well and in the best health and shape I can possibly be in.

So why do I bring this all up?

I admit I went thru a serious of emotions during this event. My initial feeling was wanting to pack my bags and be a gypsy and travel and experience the world, spend time with loved ones and ditch all my professional projects. I thought, “Why bother when you realize how quickly you can loose your life?” Then I went thru fear. I was fearful of the threat this economy has on the US and radiation fears set in. Then I was settled and inspired by the reaction of the people and the recovery.

There is a lot to learn from how the Japanese are rebounding from this tragedy as they have from WWII. It has been very touching and educational for me to view these reports and videos. Just think, the Japanese people were left with no communication for several days. We can only think of how immature it is when we find ourselves stressing out over forgetting our cellphones at home or the price of gas increasing 5cents. We rant and go on a mini rage when our local restaurant runs out of that days’ special soup.

Unlike other countries, cities or societies that have faced similar tragedies there has been very little reports of violence, looting or aggravation. Of course I may add that their government has responded fantastically and has given people very little reason to revolt and to get angry, unlike other “leaders” who will remain unnamed…whose name starts with a G ends with a B…

The road to recovery of the Japanese is made up of massive amounts of character, resilience and dignity all of which are qualities we should work on and embody ourselves. It also reminds us that although we cannot predict tragic events there are certain things we can do to prepare for such a natural disaster. Below I share some things I recommend purchasing or always having available to you.

1. Bottled water and canned food, enough for 5 days
2. Flashlight and extra batteries
3. Battery operated radio
4. Contact numbers of your loved ones, banks, and other investment accounts written.
5. Cash available. Dependant on your economic level however I recommend having at least $1,000.00 available immediately. (“but Adriana, I have been struggling to save $500! How am I supposed to save $1,000?” I will share experts tips on how to make more money and save it)
I am always shocked at how so many people have less than $200 extra available in cash. It is time to change that.
6. Feminine and baby supplies.
7. Extra set of prescription drugs if you currently are taking some.
8. A secondary home you own in a different part of the country. Hey you never know if you ever need to leave the region. you can always live somewhere else! Brings a new meaning to the term “vacation home”. You may ask, “but I am not rich?” Not to worry. There are many ways and techniques out there where I will share with you how you can own property on an average salary.

Stay Connected. Join Me On FACEBOOK.

I am eager to connect with you and hear your comments, questions and feedback.

by CasaDeWinn

Entrepreneur's Corner, People Skills, Personal Growth

How To Get What You Want

How to get what you want by suggesting things rather than by asking.

I was the baby in the family, so I had “baby” protection What does that mean? That everything you do is “ok” and you never get in trouble and more importantly …. I always got my way. Call it spoiled or whatever you want, but that’s just how it was and that type of childhood instilled in me a “Get what I want” attitude. Throughout my teenage years, college, entering good old corporate American and in pursuit of my own business that attitude remained, but it evolved from a snobby stubborn kid to a strategic and highly confident woman.
The “Get my way attitude” was applied on in many areas. I got accepted into my top choice university, always got the jobs I wanted, traveled where I wanted, dated the guys I wanted and well developed and founded the business projects I wanted… and still want.

This attitude though can be applied to things you want to accomplish, but what I am going to talk about here is how you apply it with dealing with those fun lil creatures who have major emotions and attitudes called… PEOPLE.

One way I learned was thru watching others who always seem to get what they wanted from people and also paid attention to how people I interacted with got me to do what they wanted! I was always floored by how some of my mentors always were able to get “yeses” or better yet just maneuver people to act and do what exactly what they wanted them to do.
I learned this skill in my businesses and in my dating life. I know it’s a funny comparison to say dating and my business taught me this, but the truth is it did.
You see, growing up with an ultra hard working-respect-my-mom-type of dad and an older brother who couldn’t be more disciplined and manly I looked for those traits in men. And in my dating extravaganza I met many more who were not vs. the ones who had a little more confidence and self assurance.
I paid attention to what I liked about certain men. What turned me on and what turned me off. Now I must admit many men were good on “paper” like all the facts about them were “perfect” almost like a baseball card! All their stats were great, but when it came up to bat they… Struck Out!
One of the most captivating actions a man could do and did to capture my attention was this method and skill I want to share with you. The interesting thing is that not only was it something I realized myself and many other women loved in a man, but it also helped me when I was a newbie sales person and entrepreneur.
Now let me share with you what I mean and h

ow this concept will not only completely change the amount of successful approaches you have with single women or even men ladies, but also can alter your status and your ability to add more value to yourself in this ever growing, changing and highly competitive market.
When I speak about successful approaches I am referring to all those attempts you have made at a bar, park, gym or grocery store picking up women that embarrassingly fail! You fail so bad you resort to lil penis syndrome where you are just scared to ever approach a woman. I don’t blame you, if I had that many rejecting experiences maybe I would be hesitant too. The great thing is it does not have to be that way.
It doesn’t have to be that way for your business either. If you own a business that relies on acquiring new clients, this concept I guarantee you will also revolutionize your success in your business.
Am I over confident?
Too good to be true?

Well all I have to say is this:
Adopt my “If it don’t kill ya, try it philosophy”.

And if it helps any, I’d like to share with you that almost 99% of the time if a man was clever and smart enough to try this he always got a yes from me in accepting a date.

And for my “Get R Done” entrepreneurs out there this concept almost always guaranteed a lead, referral, new client or opportunity to present my services.

Here it is….
Women do NOT like to be asked, instead they like to be influenced into a decision.

Now you can replace the word “women” to business owners, home buyers, people, patients, clients, etc. Basically whomever you are dealing with in a transaction.
Transaction of pleasure, dating, learning, selling… any exchange between one person and another.

Ok so in dating since we are all familiar with this here is an often too familiar scene of what I mean by the asking approach, failing.
It sounds like this:
“So hey umm do you maybe want to grab a bite to eat Thursday night? I know you work, but I was thinking we maybe if your not to tired we can meet up after work, do you want to meet up?
FAIL!!

That’s very courteous of you to ask kindly, but you know what, it does not cut it!
Women do not respond to questions. People in general do not respond to questions. We do not know how to or what to answer.
We live in a society that from birth practically have things around us controlling are every thought. TV, video games, etc. and you expect for these people to make decisions for themselves?
It ain’t happening!
In seduction every women no matter how conservative or how big of a woman’s right advocate she is Looovvvessss to sometimes be tossed around and controlled and nudged into a decision she wants to make, but hates to admit it.

So to learn how to “nudge” people into an action try this:
Ok so now let us see how this influencing and nudging approach works for your business. When approaching a new client or looking to increase your business influence their decision by approaching them like this:

Hello Mr. Prospect. I would love to come over to share with you briefly ways where you can be more efficient, make more money, be better presented out there in the the marketplace. When would you have time for me to come by? Right now, I’m available Monday 3:00 Or Wednesday at 3:00.

Basically the key when approaching someone in a business setting is to figure out when they are free or have a little time for you without giving them the entire week or month as an option. I have learned that the less options you give people the more you get from them.

Have you ever asked someone “Are you free this week?” The normal response is “Oh I’m super busy, I am not sure” But if you ask “Hey are you free Tuesday evening or Friday evening?” They can usually tell you exactly if they are free or not and even give you specific times.
It’s funny but when people are given less to choose from or no choices at all…. They tend to go with what you present to them.

I hope that the examples I shared above help bring some insight or illustrate to you what this concept of getting your way by suggesting things rather than by asking.

by CasaDeWinn

Entrepreneur's Corner, Personal Growth

How to Accomplish Your New Years Resolutions

When April hits, exactly ¼ of the year has passed. That means exactly 3 months ago you and I and the rest of the world made those things called resolutions to complete by the end of the year. The “I’m going to lose 10lbs” or “I will get out of my bad relationship” “ I will stop smoking” etc, are all examples of some all too familiar and very popular resolutions we make to ourselves.

As one of my spring cleaning rituals that I have done for years and which was taught to me by a very close and successful friend is to look back at those “resolutions” and take inventory on how far you have come and make note of what you have been able to achieve sine the day you made them.

What I realize is that most of us do not accomplish them because well… we forget about them!

How and why do I state this? Because I myself am guilty of making a resolution and not accomplishing it and completely forgetting what my resolution was. I am not perfect, but what I have managed to do is accomplish and complete more resolutions that most people have year after year after.
How?
By implementing and doing the following things. If you follow them, I am sure you will see the results as I have seen many times. Here is How to Accomplish Your New Years Resolutions

1. Write It Down
Fastest way to forget something? Saying it and not writing it down. With our lives being so busy and filled with activities, responsibilities and for some baby momma drama who can even remember what you had last night for dinner! Let alone remember your goals and things you want to accomplish for the year. To state something you wish to accomplish in 12 months on day and expect to remember what it was you stated on day 60, let alone day 200 you would almost have to be incredibly gifted. So if you are like me and have short term memory or cannot remember to pay your cell phone bill on time, take this advice and write down the things you want to accomplish and make sure they are written somewhere visible to you on a daily basis so you can revert to it daily.

2. The Edison Method
Did you know Thomas Edison the inventor of that little cute bulb that brings you light and allows you to see better at your home, told people he had invented it before he even had attempted to?? If that doesn’t show confidence and swag then I don’t know what does! There is something to learn about this though. Studies have proven that when we share our goals and are vocal about what we want a little thing called our pride and ego kicks in and we are more likely to follow it through with the proper actions to accomplish it.
Why?
Oh for the fear of the embarrassment it may cause when we do not accomplish and complete what we told other people that we would accomplish. Be bold grow some how we my fellow Mexican’s say it “grow some huevos” and tell someone! You do not need to go and Facebook Status it, but share with someone preferably someone whom you respect and that cares enough about you to help you with little reminders that will help you to achieve your goals.

3. Take Weekly Inventory
Lastly, to help with accomplishing your resolutions why not try giving yourself a weekly “report card”. Waiting 3 months… after reading this blog post to ask or review how you are doing on your resolution is too long. Rather than the getting stuck in the “should have” mentality and “shoulding all over ourselves” why not make the adjustment and change NOW!

In Steven Covey’s book, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, he shares about the power of the week. A day is too short. A month is too long. A week he says is “perfect” to give proper time to make progress, but not long enough to forget to check your progress. So let us not wait until July to see how we are doing in terms of accomplishing these goals and instead learn from Steven Covey and other successful individuals and use the one week method. With today’s modern fancy cell phones and gadgets none of us have any excuses as to “forget” what we need to do. Set alarms, bells and whistles to help remind you of what you need to do.

by CasaDeWinn

Love & Marriage, Personal Growth, Relationships

Technology Free Time

Whether you are in a relationship or not. I felt that this tip of mine can be useful for ALL relationships, not just those full of sexual energy. We all have someone special in your lives, don’t we? One of the best things you can do is disconnect, to connect! Technology free time is what we all need!

In today’s world we are more connected than ever! Mobile phones and social networks have made our lives almost feel like the Truman Show, where many times we forget that the only person you are putting on a “show” for should be you! So many times we are not enjoying the present for fear of not being able to “connect” or have a need to “share” it with millions of others. In a relationship learn to be present when you are together- Disconnect Yourself and have technology free time.

A very close friend of mine in a successful relationship shared this tip with me. “Designate certain “technology-free” times, when you just spend time with each other — no cell phones, computers, iPads, tv, etc. Use that time to cook and eat dinner together, play a game, go for a walk, or do something else “unplugged.”” During these times are when you and your significant other should communicate. Have conversations about what you are going through. Share with them your thoughts and feelings. When I was dating a lot, the worst thing a guy could do is text while on the date. That rule applies not only while dating, but I also think during the times you’re with your significant other you should hold the same level of respect. Not answering your phone for 30 minutes while enjoying dinner or a walk with the dogs is not going to kill your business. And if it is, then what type of unsuccessful business are you running?

But the person you are with may not be just the boyfriend of girlfriend. What about time with your friends? Or your mother? The lesson here is disconnecting will help you connect better with the people you are around physically on this world with. You do remember that we are human beings made of flesh and have emotions and can talk and are more than a Facebook status or a virtual game..right?? SO act like it! 🙂

by CasaDeWinn

Love & Marriage, People Skills, Personal Growth

The Dying Art Of Communication

I wasn’t alive nor did I experience those times when men used to serenate their women or where they formally asked the girl to be their girlfriend. Your thinking “Common Adriana, that’s some Brady Bunch sh*t! Were in 2010!” And yes I too also know how to check my calendar and know the date, thank you for the reminder.

What I want to point out and have realized about “2010” is the lack of verbal communication or shall I better state it as the transition from verbal communication to virtual communication.

It seems like the days when people would pick up the phone to talk to someone or invite them out to get to know them has been over shadowed by an overwhelming need to use email, messaging or text messages instead of using your mouth to talk to people.

Now I’m not an anti-tech person, in fact I’m one of the biggest supporters of mass communication and technology.I am a self proclaimed geek. I welcome every bit of it and I am thankful for the people who invented these things to make are lives easier. God Bless Tech Geeeeekkkkkss!!!!

Question is does this ease bring breed misfortune?

Does it harm other areas of our lives without us even knowing??

I tweet in the morning, tweet in the evening, tweet, tweet, tweet and text, text, text. I think I can compete with the best of them when it comes to communicating via these channels, but more and more I have realized that the added convenience of communication has taken a huge hit on human to human contact and communication.

I have been guilty of texting or sending my roommate a private message asking them something when they are in the room next to me!! Hahaha you know you have done it also! Or maybe you wished someone a happy birthday via message and forgot to “call” them.

Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt and the hat!

The all mighty question is up to when? Or how much of this can you do before you feel like your best friend is the keyboard and your cell phone?

Or before you lose the art of making someone smile?

Or knowing how to start a conversation?

Or what to say to someone you care about?

If you start speaking more in “LOLs” “BRBs” or “SMH” then read on.

I have a lot to say about this subject and don’t intend to say it all in this first write up, but I will start with as a society we have become terrible “people-persons”

I don’t know if that’s grammatically correct if you haven’t figured out by my past writing English is not my forte and I haven’t hired someone to “clean” up my writing because frankly I don’t want to and don’t care to, so deal with it. ok so back to people being lame and not knowing how to interact.

See the human touch is powerful!

Remember that old saying “People make the world go round”????????????????

Despite all our cool statuses and tweets and places you visit if you find yourself doing all this “stuff” by yourself or the number of “followers” isn’t quite the number of people that show up to your birthday party or whom you would be able to call if you had car trouble and they would actually help pick you up then the all important question is: Does It All Really Matter??

Are you really enjoying yourself? And are you finding fulfillment in your life?

So bottom line is in Adriana’s words: Who gives a flying f*@$ if you are by yourself.

Im not suggesting we go to our neighbors hold hands and sing kumbaya. I am urging us to reflect a little on how much time, energy and effort we put into solidifying the current relationships we have in your life and ask ourselves if we have taken any steps in increasing our network.

For those of you who think “man I don’t need to have more friends, I’m cool I got Bret, Mike, Ted, Logan from Phi Sigma Gamma Wanna Sleep WithYa, I don’t need more friends” then I would like to explore this question more with you next time, so stay tuned and in the mean time go change your status, go LIKE me on Facebook.

And Tweet and Text about what you just read … hahaha 🙂

by CasaDeWinn

My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth

Do I Lack Confidence- How To Handle Sarcastic People

Many of you have secretly asked “Do I lack confidence?”. Why is it that I rather hide and not interact with people and prefer to stay to my self. Or maybe you find that you one have 1-2 people you socialize with. If this is the case you may lack confidence. But there is more to it and I will share one sure sign that you lack confidence if you react in a way that I will share.

A few days ago I asked “what makes someone a “jerk” and not liked while other “jerks” like TV personalities are admired? You ever notice how certain people adore TV personalities that one would describe as “jerks” or “smart asses” such as Ari on Entourage, Gym teacher in Glee, the Vince Vaughns, but in real life these same people who are fanatic about these characters on TV do not like and get mad at similar personalities that happen to be their friends and a part of their real lives.

Why is it certain people appreciate sarcasm, truth and no bullshit on TV, but when it applies to them in real life they do not like it and get mad and hide?

Could it be that they lack confidence?

Sarcasm

A sure sign to know if you lack confidence in yourself is if you love watching these characters expose obvious things to other people and characters on TV, but if the Ari in their life ever points things out to them or of them… well they just run and hide

Why? I can only come up with one reason: Lack of confidence.

Knowing how to handle sarcastic people is a useful and helpful tool to help you gain more confidence. It is like a weight. The more you learn how to handle sarcasm the stronger and more confident you become. We all have been victims of sarcasm. I have many times been the center of being made fun of or people pointing out certain things about me. I have been made fun of or have been called on for something I did that may not have been the best. Or many a times have had the Vince Vaughns in my life point out the obvious about me. For example… I often times make mistakes on the proper pronunciation of words, or I walk with a very loud step or I am a control freak. My close friends that know me and know these things about me the “sarcastic” or “jerks” in my life…point it out. Often! My way of reacting is well to laugh. I know it’s true. I am a control freak. I do step loud as hell. English is my second language so I do make mistakes. If someone I know and care about and who more importantly I know they care about me points it out or makes fun of it, I simply don’t care and I acknowledge it and laugh it off.

How else should you react?
Should I get mad?
Annoyed?

If the same happened to you what would you do?

For the men out there who played any type of organized sport whether in school, on the street or semi pro I do not need to be in the locker room or practice to know that all men do to each other all day is make fun of each other. To talk about how slow you were at running drills or maybe how you have big boobs and need to lose weight or possibly how your feet stink. The list can go on and on. These type of things are part of the game and also part of growing up.

*****VERY IMPORTANT: I am not promoting bullying. Bullying comes from people who DO NOT KNOW YOU. ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. WHO DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU and HOW HARASS YOU. If you feel you are being bullied contact someone you trust and of authority at your job, school or community.

I am talking about good old growing up! People who know you, like you, care about you, sweat & cry with you. Can you take a few not so positive comments from them?

I am not a mom yet, but I would teach my kids to learn how to handle a little sarcasm and the “jerks” they will have in their life. If my boy is tall and skinny you better believe I will teach him how to handle being called Jolly Green Giant! Or If my girl has curly hair like her momma you better believe I will teach her how to react and respond to people calling her frizz head.

How do you respond? How do you gain more confidence? ACKNOWLEDGE IT!

Say “yup I’m pretty dang tall aren’t I? Or maybe you are just short”

Say “Yeah my hair is a little wild today not behaving very well. It has a mind of its own and a zip code of its own”
I will share this story with you one night I was having dinner with a few friends one of which I have not seen in several years. This girl has the habit of completing your sentences for you. It’s like she will wait to hear the first 3 words of what you are going to say and then shout out the last 3! It is quite hilarious and she does it ALL the time…not even knowing! So myself and everyone else at that dinner table that night just openly pointed it out. We not only pointed it out, but every single time she did it we would all in unison yell out ” you just did it”. Then we began mocking her by us now being the ones that finished her sentences and everyone else’s sentences at that dinner table.

Question: How do you think the girl reacted?

Did she cry?
Was she upset at us and got up out of the table?
Did she say or think ” I don’t like them anymore…they are making fun of me”

Nope. She laughed. She laughed a lot. And kept saying ” I really do that??” In disbelief and laughed and continued to joke with us.

Now having this type of reaction is not always the case. I have had many people in my life get mad or decide to avoid and hide. A guy I knew was dating a girl whose pronunciation was pretty bad on certain words properly. She had an accent nothing wrong with that so do I for certain words. So as a friend sometimes it would be pointed out or mocked. What was her reaction? Totally opposite of the previous girl! She took the opposite approach and got mad and decide to avoid and hide. Not only did she hide she just decided “we were no longer friends”.

Why is it some avoid and hide when people point out imperfections and or flaws in the, or there personality while others acknowledge it and laugh it off?

I believe it boils down to the magic word of CONFIDENCE.
I have met people who have imperfections in there body and honestly I could have hung out with them for years and never noticed until THEY point it out. Why? These people elude confidence and they do not let there imperfections hinder them.

Some of you may be saying “well Adriana not everyone is confident and can handle that so maybe those people should be left alone” I fancy this thought. Oh so some people are hanging out in the ocean on a raft that is sinking, but we should just leave them alone?? If you think taking a little bit of sarcasm is “tough” you probably haven’t done or experienced much in life nor will you ever. The key here is being able to take truthful comments that are not intended to be hurtful. In fact the people who deliver the message are your FRIENDS. They are not people who purposely want to hurt you. When’s the last time someone so “evil” says “hummmmm let me be super mean and hurt this person soooo bad by ummm mocking the way my friend from Boston says ‘car'”????? Really? That is hurtful and mean??

Common man!

So my point here is to remember that none of us are perfect and the sooner you start to accept that the sooner you will remove yourself from this avoidance of people. The sooner you will gain more confidence and the sooner you will live in truth. If you love truthful characters on TV and the big screen ask yourself if you really had a friend like that in real life would you appreciate there truthfulness or would you avoid them and hide?

by CasaDeWinn

My Thoughts, Personal Growth

Truth Be Told – Charles Barkley ‘dirty dark secret’

Charles Barkley revelation of the ‘dirty dark secret’ is one of the most honest statements I’ve ever heard. The “dirty dark secret” about his race as he refers to it “Black people”, but I don’t believe it ends there. This dirty secret extends through all ethnicities, especially 1st generation kids. I believe that this type of negativity is not restricted to the black community…I believe all “minority” communities face it. Watch the video below to listen to this eye opening portion of the interview.

Can you relate to what Barkley said?

I can totally relate to what Charles Barkley states. I grew up in a town where the majority of the population was Mexican, being 1st generation Mexican my parents did all they could to raise my brother and I the best they could. I am sure they were not thinking “let’s raise a good “Mexican” kid or let’s make our little Mexican kid more “white”. I am sure they just thought “let’s be great parents”.

My brother and I were enrolled into swim lessons as kids, I was in a dance academy and my brother and I both played sports. We both learned how to play musical instruments and earned above average grades. Was that typical for the other “Mexican” kids in my city? Probably not. Later in high school I continued dance and became a cheerleader, played multiple sports, was in Advance Placement classes, got the chance to travel to Europe with my friends, became class president and got accepted into UCLA & USC…a lot of “non-Mexican” things as the loser kids would refer to it.

Was I striving to be “non-Mexican” ?? I knew how to speak Spanish in fact in high school I started an after school program to teach other Spanish speakers how to improve their English. One year I raised money to fund a group of orphan children from Tijuana, Mexico to have teh chance to go to Disneyland. I never denied my Mexican race. I would have my “white” girlfriends listen to Spanish music with me and even watch TVNovelas with me….but to some Mexican kids I was “not Mexican enough”. Apparently I didn’t watch enough soccer or have an old English tatoo or wear dark lipstick or all the other things that group of Mexicans decided to do. I heard the remarks. I heard all the side comments some fellow Mexican kids would say…. luckily I was smarter, more stubborn than them and more competative to prove what I was doing was right and there was nothing wrong with it because I was doing what I wanted to do and be who I wanted to be.

I know many of you probably have your own fair share of stories and things you have gone through where kids or even today as adults, are told that you are not “Asian enough” or possibly have been given crap about dating outside your race. It is mind boggling to me how sometimes the people who hurt us or are the most discouraging are the same people who should be the most supportive. Bottom line is we all need to see eachother past a definition of race and do what we each individually want to do and become. If you are happy striving to become more, go for it! If you are happy being lazy and care not to work hard or thankful just to have your job, so be it! Only way to live is the way that seems most fitting to you.

by CasaDeWinn

Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts, Personal Growth

How to Take a Mini-Retirement – The 4-Hour Workweek

I have been glued to reading “The Four Hour Work Week” more so because I finally found someone who identified and clearly described exactly what I work so hard to build my life as. Time Ferris details hot to take a mini-retirement and have the continue throughout life rather than wait to just have one. Here is how to take a mini retirement The 4 Hour Workweek style.

One of my favorite phrases is “the birth of mini retirements and the death of vacations”. Time Ferris says “Why wait until you are 65 to start exploring and enjoying life? Why not take the usual 65 year old retirement and distribute it throughout life?”

That is what I have decided to do and damn it feels good!

I have always been someone who has had a problem with routine or following under someone else domain. I guess you can say I have always marched to the beat of my own drum. Many times I can say it has lead me to some trouble, but the success and enjoyable life experiences it has lead me to far outnumber the mistakes and failures. At the end of the day it is what you experience in life that you take with you, not what you were able to buy and own.
Mini retirements are reoccurring. Meaning you do not go one- once in a lifetime trip, you go on MANY and for a few weeks or even months at a time!. Many people my age get married and have that one extravagant honeymoon and then they succumb themselves to a mundane life of routine. How can routine be good for anyone??!!! Talk about loss of interest, passion, your brain even goes numb. I will discuss routine later in a different post, but this time I am simply sharing my recently identified title for the life I have chosen and choose to continue to live.
True freedom is having time freedom. I am not and have never been impressed with fancy title or high salaries. I live in a city full of stuffy nosed wall street bankers and brokers who make “a lot of money”. But I also get to see and witness how they live. Have you ever taken a stroll down through the streets of wall street around 6-7pm? I remember years ago I had a meeting with a friend downtown and I walked through one of the streets. I was in awe by the sheer number of delivery bikes in the area. I glanced one way and saw almost like a scene in the schindler’s List hands flinging open to grab food as money was exchanged. The “rich” wall street folks were getting there dinner delivered.

Rich? Really? Well in my opinion that is far from it.

Everyone is entitled to there lifestyle they choose. I am simply voicing that I think this way of living is rather poor. To restrain yourself to vacationing and having a total of 14 “vacation” days a year or now a days 20 or 22 is not something worth giving up in my opinion the time to be home and have dinner amongst loved ones. Hey I guess if you cant stand your kids, wife, husband and or you don’t have any of this or care for it in your life, then hey, go for it and eat your dinner at your desk too. But not me. I chose not to.

I have not reached the level of success I have plans for, but I have devised a way to live the type of life I love and am happy with now as I only get to add to it. I have been called a gypsy, vagabond, and even was named the little “Travelocity Nome” by a friend. My passion for travel and exploring is what motivates me to find alternatives ways to earn money, build cash flow and focus my time in businesses and careers that can support this addiction. Last year I visited New Orleans twice, spent 2 weeks in Italy seeing and exploring all the areas I had not yet seen in my previous trip to Italy and then 2 months later took an entire month off and traveled across country visiting family with my boyfriend and puppies during the holidays. Having the ability to do this brings me life!

What brings you happiness and life to your days?

Maybe it is the career you have now, maybe it isn’t?

Maybe it is teaching, but you don’t make much money… what is wrong with that?

Not everything valuable in life is measured by your salary. Think about what you are currently doing and what you would like to be doing. Mistakes made because of ambition or acceptable and can always be reversible or forgiven.

Think about what areas of your life need to be remodeled and share with me what are some things you would like to do or change.

by CasaDeWinn

Love & Marriage, My Thoughts, Personal Growth, Relationships, Travel

Make Time For Dinner

When was the last time you sat and enjoyed a dinner amongst friends? Was it last Thanksgiving? Or maybe your birthday? Well on my recent trip to Spain I learned to enjoy 2 hour dinners and NOT feel anxious… I know as a workaholic that I am I was surprised myself! I discovered and experienced life at a halt. I mean that in a good way. Not a halt like you are not progessing, but more of a halt that sometimes you do need to stop and smell the roses. Or in this case enjoy a lavish dinner, lots of wine and great conversation for a 4 hour period…and they call that “normal”. Americans may only do that a few times a year. Possibly during a birthday dinner, Christmas dinner and Thanksgiving and even then I doubt you really sit there and enjoy the conversations with the people next and in front of you for 3 hours. Or do you?

Can you really have a 2 hour dinner with Spanish friends without getting anxious?? I was tested on my last trip. I passed! I actually really enjoyed it.

CNN recently had an article about 8 reason to make time for family dinner. Here were their 8 reasons:

1.Supper can be a stress reliever

2. Kids might learn to love their veggies

3. It’s the perfect setting for new foods

4. You control the portions

5. Healthy meals mean healthy kids

6. Family dinners help kids “just say no” to smoking, drugs, and drunk driving

7. Better food, better report card

8. Put a little cash in your pocket

more here: http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/25/living/family-dinner-h

That was CNNS reasons to make time for dinner. What are yours?

Well I can tell you that I learned a lot from this behavior of having and enjoying a meal. I learned to focus on one task and enjoy my meals and the company of good friends. I like many of you on Monday thru Friday have a quick dinner. My boyfriend and I either sit around the living room catching up on all the celebrity gossip shows or we are eating while we are catching up on emails or internet browsing. Weekends is when we induldge in good enjoyable dinners, but never to the extent of the Spaniards. So I learned to enjoy more. To focus on dinner when it is dinner. To enjoy my meals and the company I am with. I should have figured this out years ago! As an ex fat tortilla girl one key factor in maintaining good healthy weight is chewing! yes chewing! lol Thinking about what you are eating and enjoying your food to fulfill your craving. But I didnt learn. It wasnt untill I traveled to Spain that I learned to enjoy dinners daily.

So just a quick tip that I am sure will only enrich your life and your experience. Take time to have a dinner not just feed yourself. Slow down. Put the email away. Try to even turn off your TV. Sit. Eat. Talk. Enjoy!

by CasaDeWinn

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