Browsing Tag

relationships

What Makes A Relationship Last

What Makes A Relationship Last? If you have been a loyal reader and friend, you know me quite well that I LOVE to share my two cents about dating, relationships and just people in general. I truly enjoy the whole allure of love, seduction and attraction. My life has been full of meeting great people, dating them, working with them and establishing an amazing relationship with my now soulmate and husband Mar.. Although often times I teach people how to date and find that special someone, at no rush of course, but I would also like to share and teach others how to maintain and make the current relationship steamy and oh so good! I have gone on many dates so when it comes to meeting people and understanding attraction, I proudly share with you that I have found an amazing man and have just as an amazing relationship. My husband makes me feel like the most loved and important woman in the world! He makes me laugh, smile and still gives me goosebumps! I love him and wish for you all to cultivate the same feelings in yours!

Many times I feel people get stuck in just “OK” relationships believing this is as good as it can get. I too have been in relationships like that or dated men that were not the best, but often I thought “well he is cute” or “he is successful” all along I really was not attracted to them nor where they good for me.

So what makes a relationship tick? What do you do to keep that butterfly feeling in your stomach and the goose bumps coming?

I openly share that with my boyfriend now, I STILL get goose bumps when he hugs me or simply caresses me. So what is it that makes a relationship last? How do you keep that intensity of attraction, love and understanding? Well I don’t have a simple answer and it would be the world’s longest blog post, but I do plan to share with you a few observations of great relationships and what I feel they do to keep the love going. If you would like to get the full scoop on how to attract the man or woman you want in your life and KEEP them, check out my coaching program. For now, please look out for this upcoming series that I like to call Keeping Good Relationships and Making Them Great!

Having a successful relationship is truly something that must be worked on and of course it has to be with someone you have real chemistry and a connection with. You can not read this or take my advice and apply it to the next thing you walk by, it just will not work. Assuming you are in a great relationship now or have recently met someone you feel there is chemistry with below I share a few fundamentals of what I believe that make up a great relationship:

1. Keep God In Your Relationship. Praying Together Is Magical!
2. Never Lose Appreciation For Each Other
3. Be Present When You Are Together- Disconnect Yourself!
4. Find A Hobby You Both Enjoy and Do It Together
5. Know Your Partners Love Language
6. Be Each Others Number 1 Fan
7. The Sooner You Forget Each Others Real Name, The Better The Love Gets!
8. Root For The Home Team…. And Theirs!
9. Listen Intensely
10. Dates Are Not Just For New Couples
11. Do Not Use Social Networks To Talk Bad About Your Other Half
12. Keep Up With Your Looks
13. Stand Up For Each Other
14. Resolve Things ASAP and Do Not Carry Past With You.

In then next few days I will expand my thoughts and advice on each of the above mentioned things to help you find and keep that spark in your love life going. Because I do not claim to be the only one with a great relationship, I would love to invite you my friends in great relationships to comment and add below a one thing your partner does to show you that you are the world to them.

Are you in a great relationship and want to share what keeps it great? Connect with me on FACEBOOK.

by CasaDeWinn

Love & Marriage

Love In All Forms

Love in all forms. Happy first week of February! The month best known for love being in the air with millions of people celebrating Valentine’s Day. While millions celebrate many more millions dread this day in fear of not having that special someone in their lives. To those people I say:WAKE UP! Love is NOT only about being in a relationship or constantly being in a state of wanting. It is about valuing and developing all relationships in your life. Friends, family, work relationships.

I want to take this time to remind us all not to neglect all other relationships in our lives.

The relationship between you and your significant other. – How has that been? Have you been communicating well? Have you each taken the time to show eachother in your own way appreciation for eachother? Have you taken time to be alone and go on a date?

Your relationship with your children? or One with your parents? – How is that communication? Have you taken time to spend some quality time with them? Do you know what is new in their lives? Successes or struggles or goals?

Relationship with friends – Have you taken the time to check in with them? Sometimes a simple Instagram or Facebook stalking can help…. see what has been going on in their lives and comment on things if that is all the time you have! Picking up the phone of course is always preferred, but with busy lives I understand it makes it difficult to carve out sometime.

…and your pets! Don’t forget them! I swear they have better emotional instincts than we do! They know and feel your love and attention so if you have been busy show them some love and plan a dog park weekend!

Take some time this month to remember and acknowledge all “Loving” relationships in your life.

by CasaDeWinn

Love & Marriage, My Thoughts, Personal Growth, Relationships, Travel

Make Time For Dinner

When was the last time you sat and enjoyed a dinner amongst friends? Was it last Thanksgiving? Or maybe your birthday? Well on my recent trip to Spain I learned to enjoy 2 hour dinners and NOT feel anxious… I know as a workaholic that I am I was surprised myself! I discovered and experienced life at a halt. I mean that in a good way. Not a halt like you are not progessing, but more of a halt that sometimes you do need to stop and smell the roses. Or in this case enjoy a lavish dinner, lots of wine and great conversation for a 4 hour period…and they call that “normal”. Americans may only do that a few times a year. Possibly during a birthday dinner, Christmas dinner and Thanksgiving and even then I doubt you really sit there and enjoy the conversations with the people next and in front of you for 3 hours. Or do you?

Can you really have a 2 hour dinner with Spanish friends without getting anxious?? I was tested on my last trip. I passed! I actually really enjoyed it.

CNN recently had an article about 8 reason to make time for family dinner. Here were their 8 reasons:

1.Supper can be a stress reliever

2. Kids might learn to love their veggies

3. It’s the perfect setting for new foods

4. You control the portions

5. Healthy meals mean healthy kids

6. Family dinners help kids “just say no” to smoking, drugs, and drunk driving

7. Better food, better report card

8. Put a little cash in your pocket

more here: http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/25/living/family-dinner-h

That was CNNS reasons to make time for dinner. What are yours?

Well I can tell you that I learned a lot from this behavior of having and enjoying a meal. I learned to focus on one task and enjoy my meals and the company of good friends. I like many of you on Monday thru Friday have a quick dinner. My boyfriend and I either sit around the living room catching up on all the celebrity gossip shows or we are eating while we are catching up on emails or internet browsing. Weekends is when we induldge in good enjoyable dinners, but never to the extent of the Spaniards. So I learned to enjoy more. To focus on dinner when it is dinner. To enjoy my meals and the company I am with. I should have figured this out years ago! As an ex fat tortilla girl one key factor in maintaining good healthy weight is chewing! yes chewing! lol Thinking about what you are eating and enjoying your food to fulfill your craving. But I didnt learn. It wasnt untill I traveled to Spain that I learned to enjoy dinners daily.

So just a quick tip that I am sure will only enrich your life and your experience. Take time to have a dinner not just feed yourself. Slow down. Put the email away. Try to even turn off your TV. Sit. Eat. Talk. Enjoy!

by CasaDeWinn

Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts, People Skills, Relationships

What Is An Ass Kisser

What is an ass kisser? When someone says to you “why are you kissing their ass?” What exactly does that mean? Take a few minutes and read with me as we explore what an ass kisser is and if you are one or not.

You may have been the kid who bullies used to say “Oh you’re an ass kisser” or maybe you were taunted with “why are you kissing their ass?” The “ass kisser” when I was growing up was the kid who was nice to his teacher. The “ass kisser” in grade school was the kid who would bring in little gifts (mostly home made by their mother) to the teacher.

As adults, many (negative & immature) adults continue to use that word. They call the coworker who always greets their boss in the mornings with a “good morning” or the one who speaks to the human resources manager in a very polite and friendly way, the “ass kisser”. The employee who always shares his opinion, who volunteers to do things and who acts courteous to his coworkers, that employee is usually called by fellow employees the “ass kisser”.

But what really is an “ass kisser”?

Is it really that being kind and having something called…. MANNERS makes you an ass kisser? I think not! I think this phrase has been misused for years and the true “ass kissers” are under the radar.

You see in life people liking you and being kind, generous and having manners and etiquette can really get you far. Just pick up a few autobiographies and I can guarantee you that they probably acted in what the negative, immature society calls “ass kisser” type of way.

Haven’t you noticed that most people who say “thank you” and give other people compliments and say “good morning” to others… end up far ahead of everyone else?

Haven’t you noticed these people usually are the ones who have more friends, end up getting better jobs or promotions at existing jobs and are well liked by others?

People make the world go round and if you lack the ability or understanding of how important it is for people to like you and win people over then I hate to break it to you, but you are just destined to a life of rough up hill battles.
Crappy dead end jobs, negative friends, live in a poor neighborhoods and continue to have less and less meaningful relationships in your life. Again, my thoughts are QUALITY over QUANTITY.

If you do not have many people you can count;
You have been stuck at a dead end job;
It is hard for you to get a promotion or a raise;
You tend to be the one NOT invited anywhere;
Or you just simply have a stinky attitude, then I suggest you learn to be a better “ass kisser”.

When I come across “non ass kissers” I can’t help but feel sorry for them. They have this attitude of “the world is against me and F people”. What a sad way to live.

Who are the non ass kissers??
You can usually identify them by:

– They do not acknowledge other people. Walk into a house without saying hi to anyone or walk into their office and slump into their desk;
– They are unfamiliar with the word “Thank You”
– They have little to no real friends
– They are unable to have a conversation with someone.
– Are usually single or have “sex” partners. Aka a sex only relationship.
– Do not have things go their way.
– Usually get screwed over and can not get favors done for them.

So why do I think “ass kissers” have been mislabeled?

Because to me a true “ass kisser” is: someone who continues to be nice and polite to someone AFTER the fact that person has lied to them, disrespected them, scammed them or intentionally try to hurt them in any way. If you are STILL nice and cordial to people like that, then YOU ARE AN ASS KISSER! But do not confuse someone who is smart with their networking ability or who simply is generous and polite as an ass kisser…. that is two separate worlds.

I know a few people who have had all of the above happen to them. They were scammed. Scammed so obviously like those old Nigerian chain letter scams and not out of $10 or $100, but thousands!

One guy I knew gave another so called “successful investor” $80,00! Yes people $80,000 for his so called “investments”. You know typical “gold mines”, “hotel deals” Nigerian scam type of things. The guy NEVER got any substantial documentation of the “investment” any follow up.. nothing. It was like puff the magic dragon his money had no trace other than the initial deposit made into the “successful investors” account. A whole year later still no word or trace of this investment and all the hopeful investor is getting in return is a $200 a month “shut-up” fee and that of course the “successful investor” is still his friend. So the guy that gave him the money to invest is still corgidal with the guy he knowingly was scammed by. Others have been lied to and intentionally hurt. And they KNOW the person/people who did this and what do they do?? KISS THEIR ASS.

Continue to be nice, find and friendly. See the last health company I was a marketing representative for is full of people at the top who intentially lie, cheat and steal. Including the owner. This guy has a history and track record that spans years of people and multitudes of people he has purposely screwed over. Screwy things like: Lie, steal, cheat, take their business away, fire them from their job for no reason, etc. I can go on for days. The minute I discovered these things my kindness subsided and well to say the least I wasn’t and have not been quiet about it. I am just not the “sweep it under the rug person” others the “ass kisser” not only sweep it under the rug, but act as if nothing has happened. I do not understand how there can still be people involved and supportive even after knowing these type of things have been done and are being done.

See my friends that to me is an “Ass Kisser”. Do you agree with me?

So again, this little fun phrase we throw around casually, I would hope that this post shared a little insight and further look at what an ass kisser really is. We are not in the 5th grade people! Life is about being kind to people and getting ahead. If you’re the type of loser who calls people who have manners and etiquette and are smart “ass kissers” it just shows you immaturity and well how far down the people chain you are. The world my friends is ruled by people who know how to and whose ass to kiss the best. It’s the truth whether you like it or not. All I ask is you kiss peoples ass who haven’t lied, stolen or cheated you. Stand up for something and start kissing the right peoples asses. 🙂
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by CasaDeWinn

Entrepreneur's Corner, Health & Fitness, My Thoughts

5 Tips For Better Sleep

Do you and your partner share a bedroom or do you have a playroom? So as I have previously shared I am one of millions of women reading Fifty Shades Of Grey. I found it quite interesting how they describe Christians’ “bedroom” as the “playroom” I paused for a minute and thought to myself is my bedroom a “playroom” enough? Through my conversations with clients and casual conversations with friends I realized most peoples’ bedrooms are not only NOT bedroom ready, but definitely not playroom ready either. I believe a bedroom whether you share it with someone or just yourself should be somewhere were two things are achieved: Rest and Recreation.

Here are 5 quick Tips to remake your bedroom for better relaxation or play, if that is what you want.

5 Tips For Better Sleep
1. Keep Your Bedroom Clean & Clutter Less

I know it sounds repetitive, but really people: Clean Your Room! Just like your momma taught you! A cluttered room will definitely not set the mood, but it is also hard to fall asleep and sleep well when you have to find your way to your bed with all your crap all over the place. You will find yourself restless and thinking of the things you have to do & clean. It is a physical sign that leaves you feeling cluttered and dirty.

2. For Good Fung Shui Have Bed With Feet Pointing Towards Door

Not a Fung Shui expert, but there you have it. This weekend do some rearranging and google all about it!

3. Avoid Displaying Photos

Don’t know about you, but if you have a picture of your mom staring at you from your night stand…. I am not too sure how “in the mood” you can get. I say leave the photo collage and family trees pics for other areas of the house. Your bedroom is like a sanctuary and you want to keep a minimal display of visualization that brings about emotions of :
A.) Accomplishment or goals( this will cause restlessness because you will want to start working on it ASAP if your anything like me)
B.) Love for family (It will scare away the tigress and bring out a wimpy kitty)

4. Nightstand Essentials

Water, baby wipes and paper towels.. yeah I said it! Trust me you will be thanking me one night as you reach over your convenient nightstand drawer 😉

5. Sturdy Bed & Mattress

Ok people get your head out of the gutter!! Nah, your right that was exactly what I was thinking. Nothing can annoy me and kill the mood more than an uncomfortable mattress and squeaky bed!

Add a Comment Below and Share With Me If You Have Other Suggestions

by CasaDeWinn

My Thoughts, People Skills, Relationships

Young Love

It is old news to most, Mark Zuckerberg married his long time girlfriend of 8 years this weekend in a small intimate ceremony accompanied by no more than 100 guest. The news brought a smile to my face as it is great to see two people whom love each other make a commitment in front of friends and family to share their love.

Another thing that brought a smile to my face in a kind of a “take that” type of attitude was the two ultra successful under 30 year old people dated for 8 years, yes people while they were working on their success, became successful and then got hitched!

Take that for young people not being able to date and be successful!
In my early immature days I had been exposed to the idea that young people could not date and become successful. One of the “successful” people I once looked at for mentorship used to always claim his secret for success was discipline and focus. He was young mid-twenties, male and had not dated for more than 8 years!! I always found this extremely rare (and strange)! I just didn’t see how it was humanly possible. I mean we are mammals that need love, attention, and sex how is it possible you can go that long without getting any of that? Gosh, can you imagine the amount of zits this person had from all the sexual frustration?!?!

And supposedly not dating and being focused would help you become more successful?

I’m thinking it would make me more stressed out and more irate.

The funny thing is I always noticed this “dedicated and focused mentor” be exactly that… stressed out and miserable!

It wasn’t until years later, once I put a few things together on how he never dated any women, but always seemed to have boy slumber parties and boy bed partners that I realized maybe he never dated or was intimate with any girls, but he seemed to always have boys sleepovers. Then i realized his sexual preference! I am totally open to all sexual preferences, my closes friends would be the first to tell you how supportive I am of it. I just think its extremely low class to pretend to be someone you are not. So this “focused-non-dating” individual painted this image to the public as this purist hero and role model for “work now and become successful” and not to be side tracked by dating, but in reality he proved my point that 8 years without any love, attention and affection would be pretty darn miserable… so that is where the boy slumber parties feel into place, it fed his need to “be close” to another person. Meanwhile, the other guys in those particular slumber parties were in awe of being so close to this purist hero, role model person, never suspected that they were only bait.

My point is… Be Open with Everyone! and Find Love! Now!

Today, I find it fitting to take a few minutes to share with everyone that despite what people may believe that it is impossible to be in a relationship and become successful, I don’t think there is a better example than Mr. and Mrs. Zuckerberg tying the knot. The two met 8 years ago, that means pre Facebook days people! Mrs. Zuckerberg was a medical student at Harvard and Zuckerberg an out of the box computer programmer developing what today can soon become the single most impactful invention in our lives…. Can you say they were busy?

Do you think that were pretty focused and ambitious?

I think so!

Making your love life wait and putting it on hold until you become successful is just a formula for disaster in my opinion. Should certain things take priorities? Of course! But to completely overlook love and finding a love partner is to me extremely immature and not very smart. You might as well just get a mail-order bride/groom if you end up successful and single. Most (wo)men … ugh 99% of them will want you for your worth and not for you. It is the stark truth people. I wish I could say that at that stage in your success you can find someone who loves you for who you are not for what you have…. But I am just not that confident to say that it is possible.

So lesson here is why make love wait. You can work hard in many areas of your life… except love! If your having trouble then seek professional help and check out my dating services

Add a Comment Below to let me hear what you think!

dr-kelvin.com

by CasaDeWinn

My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth, Relationships

When Nobody Likes You

I hate to be a Debbie Downer with a topic, I actually had my doubts on whether I should write about this or not because I feel very strongly and I am against Bullies, people who are mean to others and those who feel are superior to others and like to belittle others. In fact this post is more in support to all those who have been bullied or have to put up with peoples uncalled for and nasty ways of dealing with people… hence, THEY are the ones nobody likes and those whom the rest of us can learn from their “relationship failures”.

I speak a lot about dating and developing good relationships…true most of the time it revolves around love …. That is because I can’t help, but to be a romantic! But what happens when you are the one who nobody likes. For example, recently I came across this:

Why is it that some people even on a social space like Facebook where people whored around the word “friends” some people just can’t get any?? And I know some are thinking “Well I never go on Facebook and I don’t care about interacting with people on their I rather interact in person”. I agree to the rather interact in person, but not so much with ignoring what today is pretty much a way of communication and living whether we like it or not… Virtual communication is here to stay people! So GET CONNECT PEOPLE! Umm.. go ahead and LIKE my page and connect with me now while your at it : CONNECT WITH ME

Now the easy thinig to say is “well they rather have a small group of friends than be liked by everybody” and I agree some people do choose to have a small intimate group of friends, but I also feel that is an excuse for the “nobody likes them folks” to explain their lack of friends and being liked. You see in my opinion having few friends can be looked at in a two ways:

You Have Few Friends Because YOU Choose It;
You Have Few To NO Friends Because Nobody Likes You.

They way I strive to be build my life is with this philosophy:

Have Close Nit Circle of Friends And Be Well Liked And Respected By Many!

Why not! You can develop that if you choose too.

So from those folks that “nobody likes” there is something to learn from a failure of friends.

So I and you should ask also :

What do these people do to repeal so many people?

How do they act?

Here are a few things I have noticed and will point out about these loners:

They talk badly about someone to others, and then go hangout with that person as if they are their best friend.

“ Yeah so&so is such a B***! I cant stand her..you know what she did…”

“Oh so&so of course! Lets hang out this weekend! I’m dying too see you!”

2. They are always devaluing your own accomplishments and speaking about how theirs are so much better.

“That’s cool about your companies bonus I guess…my company gave me a much bigger bonus…”

3. Talking way too much about themselves in a show off type of way

“So yeah like I have sooooo many friends and were just going to have like 3 weddings, 2 honeymoons and top notch all open bar”

“OMG like I cant walk down the street without a guy hollering at me. I have great legs, they just cant stop looking at me”

4.They do not acknowledge people

Scenario: Loner joins the rest of a dinner table full of people, by just sliding in and not saying hi to anyone and they leave without saying goodbye.

5. Are fair weather friends – Friends only when it is convenient to them.

6. Have a critique about everything you do!

7. When in a relationship they seclude everyone except their significant other.

Girlfriend/Boyfriend in town or they just got one = You are forgotten about.

8. Have no loyalty or appreciation. Have my fair share of these folks!

9. They are the “obnoxious drunk” or the extreme “stiffy” friend.

So your at the bar and everyone is drinking or dancing or sharing their steamy s*x stories, but that one clearly-not-religious friend of yours is Mr./Mrs. Closed.- ANNOYING! Why even go hang out??!!

Or you go out and they are the ones drinking & talking so loudly you start wondering if you are out with a friend or a little kid.

Many of have known or know people like this. Some even continue to give these people the time and day ! Why? Not sure, maybe because they feel bad which is a very noble thing to think or feel you are “helping” them. But I believe what makes relationships strong and friendships valuable is when someone can knock some sense in you and not just allow you to keep making the same mistakes. Sometimes the most noble and helpful thing you can do for someone is to bluntly show them the effects of their actions.

Hey do me a favor, let us hear your opinions and comment below and if you LIKED IT , then help me

To building great friendships, sharing love and finding your soulmate!

by CasaDeWinn

Love & Marriage, My Thoughts, Relationships

The 5 Love Languages

If you have ever wondered why your girlfriend never seems to be content or happy when you by her gifts? Or maybe that he never seems to care that you do errands around the house? We all have our own little way of showing how we love others and how we like to be loved. If you believe that we are all created equal and can be treated the exact same way then you must also believe in the tooth fairy and should not ignore this post. Several years ago I came across this book and I learned about this theory of the The 5 love languages it really changed my life and I give it credit for helping me create and maintain a loving, respectful & abundant relationship with my fiance, but I would be naive to think what to me feels like a fairytale relationship, would stay this way on it’s own without some bumps in the road. So the 5 love languages are an important to understand. Here is a quick video to help you visually see and understand the 5 love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch.

Relationships and people are ever growing beings! We are like plants. We will have our times of full bloom and our times when our flowers die and a time when the soil we are planted in needs time to replenish its nutrients in the soil…to bloom again. During this metamorphosis, we as the girlfriends, wives, husbands, etc . of someone can be ugly, irrational, unappreciative people. So are ALL relationships that go through these withering times bound to fail? How then do you explain those that rebound from these times and grow stronger together?
In my opinion bad relationships boil down to two people not chemically connected (which means they wouldn’t be dating too long) and for those in a long relationship turning sour it is most likely two people speaking the incorrect love language to one another and a lot of misunderstanding. If you have ever felt unappreciative, not loved, respected and not wanted it may not always be that your partner really doesn’t love you he or she is simply speaking to you in the wrong love language.

I cannot stress to you enough if you are in a relationship to familarize yourself with this theory and understand the 5 languages of love. So what is your love language? Stop hesitating and click here to take the test and learn more!http://www.5lovelanguages.com

Share with us what Love Language you are! Leave me a comment below or connect with me on FACEBOOK

by CasaDeWinn