Don’t date, just be friends. Wow a simple sentence with such big impact. A few days ago I posed a question to many of you and shared my own personal experience about dating someone who was my friend originally and how great of a surprise it was. I asked for you guys to share your experiences or tips and if any of you had dated any of your friends. Well one of my readers and friends commented and suggested “Don’t date, just be friends. People who date break up. People who are friends stay together.”
Now you all know I have been dating for quite some time and sharing my experiences with you and that little sentence well I couldn’t have put it any better!
You see what I have learned in dating is the same things I have learned while building my businesses. If you pursue your business as simply one person or company trying to sell another person or company… then all you get is mediocre results. After the tomato selling business (hahaha that was only something I did for extra cash for candy) I really got into business at age 17 and as much as I would have hoped to know and think I was sooooo cool, I really had no clue. I was those people “selling” and not really establishing a relationship with the people I wanted to buy my stuff. So wha-la! No one bought. I had no business. I was broke. And couldn’t figure out why I worked so hard, but could not increase my sales.
Many of you may have experienced similar outcomes as you are building your business or in your dating life. Your weekends are packed. My dating calendar used to look something like this:
Friday drinks after work with Guy A
Followed by late Dinner with Guy B
then Saturday Lunch or workout date with Guy C
Meet for dinner & drinks with Guy D
Well first of all if your single and your weekends don’t look like this and you want to date, then honey we have to work on fundamentals first!
Ummm check your smile, breath, hair, and clothes.
But back to my point and my friends suggestion of “Don’t date, be friends”, If you are simply looking to fill your time and have someone to spend it with… like you enjoy the company of others, or just as they say in Jersey Shore “DTF” (Down To F*&%) then the activity of “Dating” can getcha just that.
What turns it around for most in the “dating” world if you want companionship more than just “company” ( and people there is a huge difference) is when you date to become “friends”. Like you sincerely want to get to know this person and you continue to date because there is commonality, just like you would continue to talk to the people who are your friends.
The crucial element that seals the deal or makes it magical is:
How much sexual energy is shared between you and this “friend”?
The addition of the element is what makes the connection so great! And it is NOT something you can create, it’s just kinda there or not.
So dating just to fill your time or need the company? Then go for it! Meet tons of people. Enjoy it.
If your looking for a little more consider dating as “making friends”. Look to date people you share things in common with and are attracted to. Just like building a business. You want to simply make one-time sales then keep “selling”, but if you want long term, repeat business and… REFERRALS then establishing a relationship of trust & commonality with the people and business you approach with your products or services.
To great friendships, relationships and business success!