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My Thoughts, People Skills, Relationships

Major Dating Mistake

You all know I enjoy talking about love, relationships, business and traveling, but I will share with you one of my SMH moments when I see people do this.When I see this major dating mistake I think “what a tragedy” You see to me dating is about meeting people, getting to know them… possibly over something called “A date”, testing them out by spending time with them to see if there is any chemistry and commonality.

Too often I witness major dating mistakes men and women make. What is it? NOT dating enough! It is settling for the first thing with eyes and a “P”. I call this the “One and Done”

The “one and doners” are the type of folks who do not even venture to date. They miss the whole concept of what dating is. They find that one guy or girl who is “just ok” and stop looking and then what is worse…they commit a major love disaster they make themselves exclusive to them killing all chances of them ever meeting someone else and also forcing their friends to have to deal with the mediocre dude or chic. The one and done daters will say things like ” oh this person doesn’t bother me and hasn’t done anything to me so I’m staying with them…” Know anyone like that?

But why?

I have concluded 2 reasons:
1. They are too lazy to look for someone else
2. They are afraid they won’t find someone who is “as good” or “better”

I can not tell you enough not to ignore your dating and love life and guess what people… Time DOES Matter! I have seen good people stuck in bad relationships with bad people or end up single and longing for someone. There is nothing wrong with being single if you actually WANT to be, but being horny, negative and longing to be with someone is a no-no.

Yep it happens. Usually the symptoms are it wasn’t “that bad” in the beginning, but guess what it can get real bad and you get stuck in an intertwined relationship where it can feel like there is no escape.

I have said it before and will say it again: It is better to be alone than stuck in a relationship with a bad person.

Major Dating Mistake

Signs You Are Dating The Wrong Person:

1. Your Relationship Lacks Intimacy – This doesn’t always only mean sex although that would be #2, it means do the two of you spend time cuddling? Can you sit next to each other and have an intimate conversation?

2. Lack Of Sex – Yup enough said. I used to think it may be something like some people just don’t have sex drive while others don’t. But now I am convinced when you are totally into that person… you just want it all the time!

3. Texting- If you and your “honey” text more than talk… you got issues. If this is a familiar site: You sit together and he/she is texting and you are just “there”.

4. Your Friends Do Not Like Them – One thing I have always respected in my close friends opinions. Sometimes when we are “in love” it is hard to see the other side. It is always easier to look in than it is to see out. If you respect your friends opinions there is a reason they do not like the person you are with. And wouldn’t you want them to like him or her? To me, it is very important that whom I date is well liked.

There comes a moment in your “relationship” with this person who is just ok because your the “1 and done type of person” where you have to ask yourself this:

“Am I completely done looking and not interested in ever getting to know or meet another man or woman?”

If a good friend or family member of yours were to one day offer to set you up with someone they think would be good for you would you turn them down and say “nope, good I’m in love with the current person I’m with”??

If the answer is YES, then congratulations somehow you manage to be forced under a spell by this lame person.
If the answer is NO, then don’t drag on your 1 and done mediocre relationship.

Get a moving soon and start doing little things that will let your friends and family know your are open to meet more people and go out there yourself and say hello to the world!

Stop thinking in scarcity
Think abundance! There are plenty of amazing people to share your life with!

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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Health & Fitness, People Skills

Veggie Juices …and Dating??

What do veggie juices and dating have in common? Apparently more than I thought! Sometimes attracting good men is just as simple as dangling a carrot in their face! Literally!

I’m a bit of a health nut and I guess living in NYC doesn’t hurt since it will soon be a “crime” to drink soda I often opt for my Holy Trinity (water, coffee, vino) when the summer hits I add veggie juices to the Holy Trinity.

As much as I would like to share with you some of my favorite recipes this tip is for your love health.

Recently on a hot Friday afternoon I decided to get my 24oz favorite fruit juice. Its big, it’s bright orange and ladies it’s a male magnet!

While sippin and enjoying this delightful drink and walking in Manhattan a span of no more than 7 blocks, I was approach and engaged in 3 separate conversations with 3 different handsome men.

All three started their approach with something to do with my bright colorful orangy drink

“oh that looks like a powerful drink”
” is that your happy hour drink”
” let me guess carrot, oranges & mango?”

By the way to those men who approached me ” good job! Way to strike up a conversation about something that I was holding”
It works!
Ladies I’m just sharing this with you as a little mental note that because the majority of the male species is unconfident having something they could pin point and talk about makes you instantly more approachable

Not only was my carrot juice making men want to talk to me, it was almost as if my carrot juice sifted through the male pool and pulled out men who seemed to all be good looking, in good shape, into fitness & health.
Instant connection. Instant conversation starter.

Now if I was on the market looking I’d probably have to say I would have taken up a date offer from 2out of 3 men.

Lesson here: there is none.
Why I shared this: Because I thought it was so interesting that my little veggie delight helped me get attention For all you single ladies out there becoming the type of women that can attract men isn’t as easy as buying yourself a veggie drink, but it wont kill you if you do! So go on and get healthy and have fun meeting people!!

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My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth, Relationships

Women and Relationships

As a Woman myself, you may be surprised I am putting women on blast, but I will and I do because I don’t believe in fluffy dating and relationship advice. So here are some facts about selfish women dating and in relationships. Yup Women and Relationships.

Many times in dating or relationships the man gets the short end of the stick. He is usually the first for people to assume the relationship went bad or who “broke” the girls heart. What I have come to find is many women cause the heartbreak; drama themselves! Then they get dumped or wonder why the guy they are with doesn’t want to make love with them anymore, cheats on them (no excuses for this one, men need to grow some huevos and breakup), and get dumped! But again, it is this selfish type woman who brings this all to her.

According to Askmen.com that a selfish woman has the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Requires excessive admiration.
4. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends) and lacks empathy.
5. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

I have had my fair share of encounters with women like those described above and have seen the interaction with their significant other or current boyfriend and I always wonder not only why is this guy putting up with her and also how does she manage to have 1 friend??

If you need more visualization, here are some clear examples when girl selfishness occurs:

1. The guy  is late for 5 minutes, for a woman it is like world war 3 is about to come.  When the guy showed up, whatever explanation that comes out from his mouth would never reach to her ears.

2. When the guy received a friendly message from a woman. His Girlfriend would then erupted with so many queries about cheating and blah blah and blah blah, not knowing that the woman is his sister.

3. When you two are together in a certain place and then some crazy things happen, somewhat like she forgot to bring her umbrella, make-up kit etc… She would say ,”IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Sound familiar?? Look, I do agree sometimes the guy DID forget to bring your make-up….. or in my case… I DID forget to bring my boyfriends suit for a wedding…. but he didn’t flip out! Why do we women have to flip out??

These are the kind of chicks I agree and you can say “B**** you crazy!” Good men stuck in relationships with these type of women… it happens. So men dating does not mean settling or having to put up with this behavior. And for my lady friends if you find yourself being guilty of any of the above I welcome you to inspect your life a little further and count how many friends you have, how many people actually like you and wonder if your boyfriend is only with you for now until he finds someone better…

For some coaching and how to become more well liked check out my dating services.

Know some crazy B*****s?? Share with me what you have noticed or witnessed.
 

Add a Comment Below and Share With Me If You Have Other Suggestions

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My Thoughts, People Skills, Relationships

Top 5 Things NOT To Say To Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Hello again! Are their certain things that are better left unsaid? Here are top 5 things NOT to say to your girlfriend or Boyfriend. Recently I had the chance to catch up with an old friend and as old friends do, of course we talked…. Boyfriends& relationships! The good,  bad,   awesomeness and the headaches. I was reminded through this casual catch up of some of the darnest things boyfriends (and girlfriends) can say to their other half.  So since I often  share with you guys the “what to says” and “how to say it” today I am venturing to share with you a few of the “What not to say”. If you know someone who is guilty of any of the these…. Maybe you can do them and me a favor and post it on their wall as a “suggested read”

 

Here are the top 5 things NOT to say to your girlfriend or boyfriend:

#5 Don’t Cut Your Hair or Cut Your Hair

Ok I agree most men do prefer long hair vs. short hair and every man is entitled to their opinion just like every woman is entitled to do what ever the heck she wants with her hair! So ladies, if ya feel like chopping it off do it! And men it doesn’t make you any more powerful or manly to tell your girlfriend what she can and cannot do with her hair. Same goes for men. Men can have out of control hair and a beard… the grizzly look, who cares. If that is what they want so be it.

Advice: Learn to share your opinion those are always welcomed, but neither men nor women like it when you give them instructions.

#4 I Will Dump You If You Get Fat.

Ok this has to be the most immature and insecure thing you can say to someone. This really reminds me of the high school relationships. If someone feels they need to say this to you, clearly they do not love you or are not into you as much as you would hope they would be and they are one super insecure individual that they care a lot about appearances and not about the emotional tie the relationship brings.

Advice: Reconsider this relationship.

 

#3    You’re Not As Good As My Ex

Ok so after you slap him… and if it was your girlfriend who said that then you giving her the silent treatment and “dump via text” is forgiven.The “Exes” are always interesting. If you are the one telling your current BF/GF that they are not as good, then you have an issue with decision making and confidence.  Soooo you’re are still thinking of your ex, but you are not with them? They dumped you I am sure! For certain reasons one of which i can venture to say is that you are pretty lame. So If your BF/GF ever says this to you, please see it as a wake up call that the lame-ass in them is shining through and you should notice it and run the other direction.

Advice: Reconsider this relationship.

 

#2   Oh She’s Hot!  Oh He’s Hot!

File this one under “A” for extremely freaking Annoying! Nothing can annoy me more than a guy or a girl saying the opposite sex is “Hot” right in front of their significant other. Why? I don’t get it. It’s natural to look, normal to admire, but just downright stupid to vocalize to your boyfriend or girlfriend that someone is hot. Are you trying to make him or her jealous? Ok so maybe you have a celebrity crush, hey that is fine who doesn’t, but saying every guy or girl you see, sniff out, or spot are “Oh soo hot” “Oh lo amp” come-on now! Give me a break. I am annoyed for your boyfriend and the girlfriend! In some relationships, there may be a mutual understand to point out to each other if other men or women are hot and hey I respect that … I guess… If you are the girl or guy allowing your significant other to continue this type of behavior than I guess you deserve a mediocre relationship with someone who is “kind of” into you for now until they find someone better than you.

Advice: I would be careful because what goes around, eventually if your the type of guy or girl who is guilty of this, then this behavior will come around to you. You are training your significant other to do exactly what you are doing, but maybe this time his/her version of “Oh they’re so hot” may be a reality and they just might dump ya for the “hot one”.

The #1  thing NOT to say to your girlfriend or boyfriend: “I Love You” When You Do Not Mean It.

Enough said.

Please add your comments below and share with me any other “What not to say to your boyfriend and girlfriend” .

 

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My Thoughts, People Skills, Relationships

Young Love

It is old news to most, Mark Zuckerberg married his long time girlfriend of 8 years this weekend in a small intimate ceremony accompanied by no more than 100 guest. The news brought a smile to my face as it is great to see two people whom love each other make a commitment in front of friends and family to share their love.

Another thing that brought a smile to my face in a kind of a “take that” type of attitude was the two ultra successful under 30 year old people dated for 8 years, yes people while they were working on their success, became successful and then got hitched!

Take that for young people not being able to date and be successful!
In my early immature days I had been exposed to the idea that young people could not date and become successful. One of the “successful” people I once looked at for mentorship used to always claim his secret for success was discipline and focus. He was young mid-twenties, male and had not dated for more than 8 years!! I always found this extremely rare (and strange)! I just didn’t see how it was humanly possible. I mean we are mammals that need love, attention, and sex how is it possible you can go that long without getting any of that? Gosh, can you imagine the amount of zits this person had from all the sexual frustration?!?!

And supposedly not dating and being focused would help you become more successful?

I’m thinking it would make me more stressed out and more irate.

The funny thing is I always noticed this “dedicated and focused mentor” be exactly that… stressed out and miserable!

It wasn’t until years later, once I put a few things together on how he never dated any women, but always seemed to have boy slumber parties and boy bed partners that I realized maybe he never dated or was intimate with any girls, but he seemed to always have boys sleepovers. Then i realized his sexual preference!  I am totally open to all sexual preferences, my closes friends would be the first to tell you how supportive I am of it. I just think its extremely low class to pretend to be someone you are not. So this “focused-non-dating” individual painted this image to the public as this purist hero and role model for “work now and become successful” and not to be side tracked by dating, but in reality he proved my point that 8 years without any love, attention and affection would be pretty darn miserable… so that is where the boy slumber parties feel into place, it fed his need to “be close” to another person.  Meanwhile, the other guys in those particular slumber parties were in awe of being so close to this purist hero, role model person, never suspected that they were only bait.

My point is… Be Open with Everyone! and Find Love! Now!

Today, I find it fitting to take a few minutes to share with everyone that despite what people may believe that it is impossible to be in a relationship and become successful, I don’t think there is a better example than Mr. and Mrs. Zuckerberg tying the knot. The two met 8 years ago, that means pre Facebook days people! Mrs. Zuckerberg was a medical student at Harvard and Zuckerberg an out of the box computer programmer developing what today can soon become the single most impactful invention in our lives…. Can you say they were busy?

Do you think that were pretty focused and ambitious?

I think so!

Making your love life wait and putting it on hold until you become successful is just a formula for disaster in my opinion. Should certain things take priorities? Of course! But to completely overlook love and finding a love partner is to me extremely immature and not very smart. You might as well just get a mail-order bride/groom if you end up successful and single. Most (wo)men … ugh 99% of them will want you for your worth and not for you. It is the stark truth people. I wish I could say that at that stage in your success you can find someone who loves you for who you are not for what you have…. But I am just not that confident to say that it is possible.

So lesson here is why make love wait. You can work hard in many areas of your life… except love! If your having trouble then seek professional help and check out my dating services

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My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth, Relationships

When Nobody Likes You

I hate to be a Debbie Downer with a topic, I actually had my doubts on whether I should write about this or not because I feel very strongly and I am against Bullies, people who are mean to others and those who feel are superior to others and like to belittle others. In fact this post is more in support to all those who have been bullied or have to put up with peoples uncalled for and nasty ways of dealing with people… hence, THEY are the ones nobody likes and those whom the rest of us can learn from their “relationship failures”.

I speak a lot about dating and developing good relationships…true most of the time it revolves around love …. That is because I can’t help, but to be a romantic! But what happens when you are the one who nobody likes. For example, recently I came across this:

 

Why is it that some people even on a social space like Facebook where people whored around the word “friends” some people just can’t get any?? And I know some are thinking “Well I never go on Facebook and I don’t care about interacting with people on their I rather interact in person”. I agree to the rather interact in person, but not so much with ignoring what today is pretty much a way of communication and living whether we like it or not… Virtual communication is here to stay people! So GET CONNECT PEOPLE!  Umm.. go ahead and LIKE my page and connect with me now while your at it : CONNECT WITH ME

Now the easy thinig to say is “well they rather have a small group of friends than be liked by everybody” and I agree some people do choose to have a small intimate group of friends, but I also feel that is an excuse for the “nobody likes them folks” to explain their lack of friends and being liked. You see in my opinion having few friends can be looked at in a two ways:

  1. You Have Few Friends Because YOU Choose It;
  2. You Have Few To NO Friends Because Nobody Likes You.

Or

They way I strive to be build my life is with this philosophy:

Have Close Nit Circle of Friends And Be Well Liked And Respected By Many!

Why not! You can develop that if you choose too.

So from those folks that “nobody likes” there is something to learn from a failure of friends.

So I and you should  ask also :

What do these people do to repeal so many people?

How do they act?

 

Here are a few things I have noticed and will point out about these loners:

  1. They talk badly about someone to others, and then go hangout with that person as if they are their best friend.

“ Yeah so&so is such a B***! I cant stand her..you know what she did…”

“Oh so&so of course! Lets hang out this weekend! I’m dying too see you!”

 

2. They are always devaluing your own accomplishments and speaking about how theirs are so much better.

“That’s cool about your companies bonus I guess…my company gave me a much bigger bonus…”

 

3. Talking way too much about themselves in a show off type of way

“So yeah like I have sooooo many friends and were just going to have like 3 weddings, 2 honeymoons and top notch all open bar”

“OMG like I cant walk down the street without a guy hollering at me. I have great legs, they just cant stop looking at me”

 

4.They do not acknowledge people

Scenario: Loner joins the rest of a dinner table full of people, by just sliding in and not saying hi to anyone and they leave without saying goodbye.

5. Are fair weather friends  – Friends only when it is convenient to them.

6. Have a critique about everything you do!

7. When in a relationship they seclude everyone except their significant other.

Girlfriend/Boyfriend in town or they just got one = You are forgotten about.

8. Have no loyalty or appreciation. Have my fair share of these folks!

9. They are the “obnoxious drunk” or the extreme “stiffy” friend.

So your at the bar and everyone is drinking or dancing or sharing their steamy s*x stories, but that one clearly-not-religious friend of yours is Mr./Mrs. Closed.- ANNOYING! Why even go hang out??!!

Or you go out and they are the ones drinking & talking so loudly you start wondering if you are out with a friend or a little kid.

 

Many of have known or know people like this. Some even continue to give these people the time and day ! Why? Not sure, maybe because they feel bad which is a very noble thing to think or feel you are “helping” them. But I believe what makes relationships strong and friendships valuable is when someone can knock some sense in you and not just allow you to keep making the same mistakes. Sometimes the most noble and helpful thing you can do for someone is to bluntly show them the effects of their actions.

Hey do me a favor, let us hear your opinions and comment below and if you LIKED IT , then help me

 

To building great friendships, sharing love and finding your soulmate!  

 

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People Skills

How To Start A Conversation With A Girl

How To Start A Conversation With A Girl or how do you start a conversation with a complete stranger and given you are a man and she is a woman.. one that you are interested in? Is it possible to learn the Art Of Conversation and have the courage and skills to go from eyeing a woman you are interested in to approaching her to then asking the right, again the RIGHT question that will have you engaged in a conversation with her and not leave you feeling like a complete loser??

Yes men! I believe so! In fact I KNOW SO!

I have taught countless men and women do just that! And some of the these men I taught, trust me were completely lost before I got my hands on them. I have taught ugly men, handsome men, men full of themselves, men who think they are superior, short men and even men who couldn’t speak english. You can do it too!

So here is the scenario. I was at the gym the other morning and if you don’t know already I enjoy running. I only go to the gym when the weather is bad otherwise you will never catch me in there. So I am on the treadmill, headphones on jamming and running my butt off for 30minutes. I unlike some women, go to gym and workout do the in and out. You never see me with mascara, the fake eyelashes the perfect hair. I have the “just woke up look” and of course my favorite baseball hat on. I had felt like someone was watching me the entire workout and sure enough the minute I got off the creepy guy who I caught staring at me during my run comes up to me and mutters:  “Are you a runner?”             

And that my friends, is where it ended for him.

1st I couldn’t gather myself to want to talk to him because all i thought was “What a stupid question. Yeah you idiot I am a runner, didn’t you just stare at me for 30minutes while I…. “RAN” “.

2nd Even though he wasn’t ugly in fact most women would have thought he was attractive again I couldn’t get out of the state of mind that this guy was well to put it nicely lame.

So if you are the man reading this and think “oh thats hard Adriana” then I have news for you. If you ever want to date and eventually be in a long term relationship with a woman of value then it will take more out of you. That type of pick up only works for very desperate girls who are astonished that they even got attention.

If I were a boy I would have done these 3 things differently… pay attention…

1. Do not stare at someone for their entire workout. You come across creepy and well it is annoying. One good eye contact and thats it! Move away, go away and do not go staring again… until its time to approach.

2. Never start a conversation with an obvious answer. I would have said “You have a nice running stride, what is your average running distance?”

See that my friends, is you acknowledge the obvious, but then asked a question that involves her having to answer….

I’m a woman, of course I know what turns us on!!

And not only do I know this, but I also understand the physiology behind every woman, I know What Every Woman Likes In  Man. You can discover this and much more in my “HOW TO GET ANY WOMEN YOU WANT, EVEN IF YOU AREN’T TALL, RICH OR GOOD LOOKING” ebook.

This represents COUNTLESS hours, research, personal experience and revealing never before fundamental humanistic characteristics that if understood and learned, literally revolutionize your dating and sexy life.

And I’ll tell you something…

It works.

This eBook is one of the most effective programs of its kind available anywhere at ANY price.

Let me remind you that it’s the first and only of its kind written by a woman, from a woman’s perspective to a man.

So if you’ve ever asked to understand women, then here you baby, it can be yours with just a click here: http://WhatWomenLikeInMen.com

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People Skills

5 Big Butt Etiquette Rules For Women

Have a KaDunkADunk? No problem! Here are 5 big butt etiquette rules to follow. Learn to love your big ol’butt. In many countries and cultures it is a blessing, so learn to appreciate it. However having a big butt does have its issues so read on to learn the 5 big butt etiquette rules to follow.  
5.) Avoid White Or Grey Leggings/Spandex
 Take note, leggings mark dangerous turf and grey and white are natural expanders and you don’t know how many times I have seen women with these things plastered on like they were painted on.This then exposes all the cottage cheese associated with the big butt and well ladies not a nice thing to see or to show to a man. Also, shirts that fall below the crotch are necessary with leggings too -TRUST.  Depending on your tolerance for public panting or display of your big booty, you may want to consider a cease and desist.

4.) Play It Cool During Big Butt Anthems
This is a hard one, I know. Now I would never recommend anyone deprive themselves the great satisfaction of delivering a proper  stanky leg rendition. However, I would advise  practicing personal reservation during a$$ anthem music. Not as a public safety measure nor as a preventative measure to deactivate ignorance (afterall, a$$ anthems summon it) but just because its horribly cliche.  Don’t be the first, second, or third chick to take it low and sweep the floor. I say, be the fifth… Yea fifth is good.

3.) Low-Cut Jeans Are Not Your Friends
I got to be real, crack IS whack! You may not like this rule especially since so many of the latest trends involve the low cut skinny jeans,but you gotta deal with it chick, you can’t participate in this fashion trend. Simply because no matter what notch you fasten that belt to, your booty crack will be exposed1 Go for high-waisters, they flesh out your shape and are much more flattering.

2.) Mini Skirts and Shorts

It may be hot and they may look good on others, but if you have a big butt it is just to risky to expose the very likely cottage cheese sections of your butt and thighs. Opt for longer skirts or if you decide to wear a mini, make sure it is only in the fall when you can wear some nice opaque tights to hold it all in.

1.) Save the Best for Last
True story. If you do it from the back as kickoff, you might not make it to the end of the show. He will enjoy it so much it will make you wonder when it will end and when he can get back to pleasing you…but sadly it never happens. So save the best for last and make him work for it!

Big butt or small butt we all as ladies share many things in common despite how we were shaped in the world of dating and not only do I know this, but I also understand the physiology behind every woman, I know What Every Man Wants.

I was single for many years, but never alone. I always managed to have a date and being able to get one seemed to come easy, but it wasn’t always like that. I have spent many years learning from experts and thru trial and error of my own dating life learning and discovering the things all men love in women. I have now mastered the art of conversation and how to date more great men and for the men I know what women like. SO if you haven’t connected with me already go ahead and subscribe to my newsletter at www.adrianagomez.com. Look forward to connecting with you!

 

 

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