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dating tips

Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts

Why Men Who Work Hard Are Attractive To Women

Why Men Who Work Hard Are Attractive To Women. Who go to work. Who fix things and drill and kill bugs when we see them. It’s in our nature. I didn’t write the human code or our DNA or talk to Adam and Eve about their issues, I just know it’s a fact of life and it’s a fact of male and women tendencies.  I am so thankful that my husband is one of those men. I grew up around a laboror man.. my father is the hardest working man I know! This man cannot just sit around. He knows how to relax, but prefers to be doing something. He helps around the house without hesitation …always. Recently we had to have a tree removed from our yard… my dad and Mark came to the rescue. I tried telling them to just hire someone, but bought hesitated to accept and decided to just do it  themselves. 20150107_115427

Women are made to give. They are adaptable and they love to please others. Women are always asking “what can I do for my man?” Women are thinking about the little things to do for you. The little notes to plant in your pockets. The dinners and romantic evenings she planned for the two of you. Basically all the things you as a man probably overlook and never gave a shit about! Hahaha. Women need to feel safe and they love acknowledgement! The “thank you” the “that dinner was amazing!” Not to get too much into it, because this article is about how women love men who labor, but to narrow it down to two fundamental needs a women has is acknowledgement and the sense of feeling “safe”.

As a man, how do you make a woman feel safe? Is it that you parade around like a bodyguard when you’re out in public? NO! I mean don’t get me wrong no woman wants to date a pansy, someone who can’t stand up for themselves or someone that wouldn’t confront a rude man who is trying to cause problems.

What I’m talking about is this,
The most important “safety” a woman cares about and needs is that the man she is with will always assume the role of the “Hunter”. Back in the days it literally was that, the men hunted and they brought home the food and items that would be used for shelter and survival. Obviously the tables have turned and there is no need for you to walk in to your home grabbing the fish by its head, but the “hunter” in you must be present.















By hunting I mean, going out there and working. Producing. Cultivating. Improving your and your future partners life. Women despite the change in roles we have seen in this last century with many women hitting the work place and many times earning more income than their mates, still the inner desire and need to feel “safe” stems back to the man assuming the role as a “provider”.
Don’t buy into the hoop-la of “Independent woman” stuff. See a woman WILL and CAN be independent, but even if she is and needs nothing from you economically, KNOWING that you can be the provider if needed is exactly what every woman wants to know.

So men, get off your ass and step up your game.

On this LABOR day ask yourself what are you “LABORing” on. How are you creating value for yourself? Are you acquiring a new skill? Are you planning for the future? Are you increasing your network? All these are things that increase your value.

If you’re a conservative reading this article, you may ask “well what happened to the more important things like trust, love and understanding?” I never said those were not important, but keep in mind a woman can have that and find that with her best friend or some family member. The workings of a great relationship between male and female long term must also fulfill the female needs and prove that the man she is with can and will “take care” of her.

Then there are the men who think women are “gold diggers!” that is an insecure man’s way of thinking. He is thinking “oh she is going to use me” and if your dumb and don’t stand for yourself then a woman with bad intentions would use you, and who’s fault is that? Yours! Not the girls. You as a man also set your parameters and remember that ultimately you can never buy love. You can buy purses and vacations and jewelry, but never lust or love. If you turn her on you turn her on because of your energy with her not what you buy her. What you buy will only at best provide decent sex and a complain to hang out with you until she finds someone better. If that’s all your looking for then go ahead keep it up. If not, you must not rely on your finances alone.
Let me finish by telling you this. Men are like Cars. All have an engine, 4 tires, doors and if it’s a working car it turns on and drives. A woman shops around first by her emotion, what looks and smells good to her. Basically what turns her on sexually. After that, to keep her you must show you can be reliable and go the distance. The less you show her this the less she wants to “ride”. Your sex life diminishes your intimacy level decrease and next thing you know she will start telling you its ladies night every weekend!

So on LABOR day and all others Go To Work and like my favorite comedian Russell Peters says “Be-A-Man” these fundamental instincts we have are exactly that, fundamental despite the changes in society and our times women and men will continue to have basic fundamental needs.

Love & Marriage, Relationships

How To Keep Intimacy Fun And Exciting

How do you keep intimacy fun and exciting. Do you find yourself thinking “missionary… again!??” People may argue with me, but the number one sign a relationship is going bad or is already at the point of reconciliation is when your love life gets bad. However, even while it is good there are still many things you can do to make sure you keep it alive. This can be a very personal matter for couples most do not like to talk about it, but I feel it is something that should be addressed and not neglected. Often times we think it will “just be good”. There are many dynamics of course that determine the awesomeness of your love life with your partner and in this post I will only share the physical things we do have control over. I have complied a few tips from many couples that have successful loving and happy relationships and here are some things they do to keep their loved ones yearning for the next romp session!

1. Snap Out of the Routine
If you find yourself getting it on at the exact same time and the exact same part of the week or month for your sex starved readers… then snap out of it! This time initiate a romp session at a different time or day. If Friday nights are the once a week you get it on with your partner why not sneak them in the room on a Wednesday night. These types of actions will not only keep your loved one in suspense and guessing, but will be very healthy for your relationship. “One of my favorite things my husband does is the minute I walk into the house he comes over begins to kiss me all over my neck and little by little leads me into the hallway and next thing you know were engaged in a full on love making session….” – anonymous contributor.

2. Make Out Sessions
A great friend of mine shared with me this tip and little action that I believe is often overlooked and very much enjoyed especially by women. Foreplay!! Having your make out session last longer and then doing the dirty just makes it so much better! Too many times love making becomes a task for people. Like I seriously think some couples think “humm well its been about a week I guess we should be making love if were a good couple… ok take your clothes off…” come one!! The intensity make out sessions provoke is almost irresistible! So next time before rushing into things, take it a little slow, and appreciate each other and every part of them.

3. Props

What would a movie be without music? What would a house be without furniture? Now please pay attention to this one: You HAVE to know your partner. This is not a tip or suggestion that works for everyone. Some people just do not like flavored oils, toys or costume get ups. There is only one way to find out. Keep in mind to be open to the out of the box “props” you may be thinking of. Let your imagination and the creative side of you take over. Maybe you show up with his favorite team jersey on or one day you have silk gloves if you know your partner is ticklish… who knows! The point is don’t be stuck in a box and venture a little bit and have fun!

Love & Marriage, Personal Growth, Relationships

Technology Free Time

Whether you are in a relationship or not. I felt that this tip of mine can be useful for ALL relationships, not just those full of sexual energy. We all have someone special in your lives, don’t we? One of the best things you can do is disconnect, to connect! Technology free time is what we all need!


In today’s world we are more connected than ever! Mobile phones and social networks have made our lives almost feel like the Truman Show, where many times we forget that the only person you are putting on a “show” for should be you! So many times we are not enjoying the present for fear of not being able to “connect” or have a need to “share” it with millions of others. In a relationship learn to be present when you are together- Disconnect Yourself and have technology free time.
technology free time

A very close friend of mine in a successful relationship shared this tip with me. “Designate certain “technology-free” times, when you just spend time with each other — no cell phones, computers, iPads, tv, etc. Use that time to cook and eat dinner together, play a game, go for a walk, or do something else “unplugged.”” During these times are when you and your significant other should communicate. Have conversations about what you are going through. Share with them your thoughts and feelings. When I was dating a lot, the worst thing a guy could do is text while on the date. That rule applies not only while dating, but I also think during the times you’re with your significant other you should hold the same level of respect. Not answering your phone for 30 minutes while enjoying dinner or a walk with the dogs is not going to kill your business. And if it is, then what type of unsuccessful business are you running?

But the person you are with may not be just the boyfriend of girlfriend. What about time with your friends? Or your mother? The lesson here is disconnecting will help you connect better with the people you are around physically on this world with. You do remember that we are human beings made of flesh and have emotions and can talk and are more than a Facebook status or a virtual game..right?? SO act like it! 🙂

People Skills

The Three Online Dating Profile Pictures You Need

Online dating? Sure, why not! For a lot of you a new year means a new you! A new relationship. A new experience. A new online dating profile. Why the hell not!

The Three Online Dating Profile Pictures You Need

Well if you are going to venture to online dating (and yes people I did have a few profiles out there) you better do it right! Watch the video so you learn the three online dating profile pictures you need. The picture speaks loud and very, very loudly. So here are the three online dating profile pictures you need to have on your online dating profile. How to have a great online dating profile. It starts with pictures! Welcome to the new age. Yes although I prefer to meet people in person today there are many sites that can serve as great tools and resources to help you meet more singles. So watch the video below and take into action my tips.

My Thoughts, People Skills

Dating Is Like A Job Interview

Dating is like a job interview and we all have had one. A few years back a cousin of mine went thru this time period where she was dating a lot and God bless her for it! The girl was smart about it and met a lot of guys and well did what I think many people do not do: Date.

Dating to me is an interview process.

If you’ve ever worked for a large company you know that they don’t jump into bed with you after the first interview. If your only taste of the workforce is dead-end low paying jobs then yes I stand corrected they DO jump right in and hire you before testing you out, but again a legitimate company with a name to uphold, millions of dollars at stake and who produce great results or amazing products, those companies do not just jump right in and hire someone. They treat the culture of the company and employees as something sacred.

So for those of you who are trust fund babies, born entrepreneurs from age 10 and or never stepped it up to go after a job with a large company then let me share with you how the process works.
You have to have a stellar resume to land your first interview and if your first interview goes well, then they schedule a 2nd , 3rd and possibly 4th interview for the exact same job position.
At each stage of the interview process they introduce you to new people usually management and if that management likes you then they introduce you to the next.

It all happens as a process and little by little. Now people keep in mind this is for a job! Now in dating which to me is and should be treated like an interview process, what happens to us about that something so sacred and special called your family and friends? Why is it that so many of us who start dating fail to be as selective with who we date and who we introduce our friends and family to that we just bored around and allow some chic or dude your dating distort the harmony in your friends and family??

Companies take interviewing and adding someone new to their “family” seriously because they know how important it is to hire someone of value. Someone who will add great chemistry to the existing group and not be the cancer.
If companies are so protective of their culture why aren’t you with your culture of friends and family?

To me the guy I was going to be known to be “dating” was superrrrrr important that the following things happen:

1. I Have To Like Him and Be Totally Into Him—-> HE, has to like me and be totally into me!

2. My Family Has To Approve and Like Him—-> HE BETTER like my family & be on his best d*mn behavior

3. My Friends Have To Like and Get Along With Him—-> HE BETTER like my friends and respect them.


4. We have to have similar spiritual beliefs, morals, etc all that other stuff that is important in a relationship!


If those 4 things are good, then to me it is like “hiring” time which I then proceed to turn it into an exclusive relationship. I would suggest that your introduce the potential “BF/GF” little by little and I usually recommend them meeting your family last.

A huge dating FAIL is when people just override and skip what I consider the 4 essentials and just date someone who:

1. ISN’T Totally Into You —-> They can’t shut up about how OTHER guys/girls are hotter than you

2. Your Family Is Indifferent or Doesn’t Like Them—> Some people are not close to their family, i could see why this wouldn’t matter to them

3. The person you are dating DOES NOT like your friends and your friends DO NOT get along with them—-> I believe good friends want the best for you so if they openly tell you they don’t like the person you are dating there is a major reason why. I don’t think friends sit around and hope for their friends never to date.

4. Bad Chemistry… enough said.

Why is it that some people fail to realize that when you make someone exclusive and date them… They end up having to date your friends & family too!

If the culture of your friends has been spring break trips, weekly dinners and get-togethers with no drama, no awkwardness why the F would you not protect it or give a small shit about maybe considering how your BF/GF effects it??

There is truth in numbers. If 1-2 people don’t like who you have forced upon them to like then hey maybe those people are picky and illogical and not giving your bf/gf a chance. However, of this extends beyond that then why are you forcing upon what at one time was sacred someone who clearly is a cancer in your family and

It is sad to see when men really do chose “Hoes before bros” or women we can be just as guilty of being exclusive with someone who doesn’t add value to you and who doesn’t mesh with your friends.

Now the question is: Is the issue your friends or the person you are dating?

My fondest wish for you is to remember that when you date it’s an interview. You don’t have to introduce the chick or guy you just me to your family of friends right away in fact I’ve gone on several dates with tons of guys that never ever met any of my friends. They just didn’t cut it, I knew I didn’t want to be serious with them so I just didn’t bother bringing them around my friends or family. These guys were good enough for me to spend some time with, hang out with and entertain myself, but not good enough to make it to round two “interviews”.

Interview process is fun! Enjoy it and make sure you “hire” the right one! 🙂

Entrepreneur's Corner, Health & Fitness, My Thoughts

5 Tips For Better Sleep

Do you and your partner share a bedroom or do you have a playroom? So as I have previously shared I am one of millions of women reading Fifty Shades Of Grey. I found it quite interesting how they describe Christians’ “bedroom” as the “playroom” I paused for a minute and thought to myself is my bedroom a “playroom” enough? Through my conversations with clients and casual conversations with friends I realized most peoples’ bedrooms are not only NOT bedroom ready, but definitely not playroom ready either. I believe a bedroom whether you share it with someone or just yourself should be somewhere were two things are achieved: Rest and Recreation.

Here are 5 quick Tips to remake your bedroom for better relaxation or play, if that is what you want.


5 Tips For Better Sleep
1. Keep Your Bedroom Clean & Clutter Less

I know it sounds repetitive, but really people: Clean Your Room! Just like your momma taught you! A cluttered room will definitely not set the mood, but it is also hard to fall asleep and sleep well when you have to find your way to your bed with all your crap all over the place. You will find yourself restless and thinking of the things you have to do & clean. It is a physical sign that leaves you feeling cluttered and dirty.

2. For Good Fung Shui Have Bed With Feet Pointing Towards Door

Not a Fung Shui expert, but there you have it. This weekend do some rearranging and google all about it!

3. Avoid Displaying Photos

Don’t know about you, but if you have a picture of your mom staring at you from your night stand…. I am not too sure how “in the mood” you can get. I say leave the photo collage and family trees pics for other areas of the house. Your bedroom is like a sanctuary and you want to keep a minimal display of visualization that brings about emotions of :
A.) Accomplishment or goals( this will cause restlessness because you will want to start working on it ASAP if your anything like me)
B.) Love for family (It will scare away the tigress and bring out a wimpy kitty)

4. Nightstand Essentials

Water, baby wipes and paper towels.. yeah I said it! Trust me you will be thanking me one night as you reach over your convenient nightstand drawer 😉

5. Sturdy Bed & Mattress

Ok people get your head out of the gutter!! Nah, your right that was exactly what I was thinking. Nothing can annoy me and kill the mood more than an uncomfortable mattress and squeaky bed!

Add a Comment Below and Share With Me If You Have Other Suggestions

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My Thoughts, People Skills, Relationships

Major Dating Mistake

You all know I enjoy talking about love, relationships, business and traveling, but I will share with you one of my SMH moments when I see people do this.When I see this major dating mistake I think “what a tragedy” You see to me dating is about meeting people, getting to know them… possibly over something called “A date”, testing them out by spending time with them to see if there is any chemistry and commonality.

Too often I witness major dating mistakes men and women make. What is it? NOT dating enough! It is settling for the first thing with eyes and a “P”. I call this the “One and Done”

The “one and doners” are the type of folks who do not even venture to date. They miss the whole concept of what dating is. They find that one guy or girl who is “just ok” and stop looking and then what is worse…they commit a major love disaster they make themselves exclusive to them killing all chances of them ever meeting someone else and also forcing their friends to have to deal with the mediocre dude or chic. The one and done daters will say things like ” oh this person doesn’t bother me and hasn’t done anything to me so I’m staying with them…” Know anyone like that?

But why?

I have concluded 2 reasons:
1. They are too lazy to look for someone else
2. They are afraid they won’t find someone who is “as good” or “better”

I can not tell you enough not to ignore your dating and love life and guess what people… Time DOES Matter! I have seen good people stuck in bad relationships with bad people or end up single and longing for someone. There is nothing wrong with being single if you actually WANT to be, but being horny, negative and longing to be with someone is a no-no.

Yep it happens. Usually the symptoms are it wasn’t “that bad” in the beginning, but guess what it can get real bad and you get stuck in an intertwined relationship where it can feel like there is no escape.

I have said it before and will say it again: It is better to be alone than stuck in a relationship with a bad person.

Major Dating Mistake

Signs You Are Dating The Wrong Person:

1. Your Relationship Lacks Intimacy – This doesn’t always only mean sex although that would be #2, it means do the two of you spend time cuddling? Can you sit next to each other and have an intimate conversation?

2. Lack Of Sex – Yup enough said. I used to think it may be something like some people just don’t have sex drive while others don’t. But now I am convinced when you are totally into that person… you just want it all the time!

3. Texting- If you and your “honey” text more than talk… you got issues. If this is a familiar site: You sit together and he/she is texting and you are just “there”.

4. Your Friends Do Not Like Them – One thing I have always respected in my close friends opinions. Sometimes when we are “in love” it is hard to see the other side. It is always easier to look in than it is to see out. If you respect your friends opinions there is a reason they do not like the person you are with. And wouldn’t you want them to like him or her? To me, it is very important that whom I date is well liked.

There comes a moment in your “relationship” with this person who is just ok because your the “1 and done type of person” where you have to ask yourself this:

“Am I completely done looking and not interested in ever getting to know or meet another man or woman?”

If a good friend or family member of yours were to one day offer to set you up with someone they think would be good for you would you turn them down and say “nope, good I’m in love with the current person I’m with”??

If the answer is YES, then congratulations somehow you manage to be forced under a spell by this lame person.
If the answer is NO, then don’t drag on your 1 and done mediocre relationship.

Get a moving soon and start doing little things that will let your friends and family know your are open to meet more people and go out there yourself and say hello to the world!

Stop thinking in scarcity
Think abundance! There are plenty of amazing people to share your life with!


Love & Marriage, Relationships

What Does It Mean To Be Dating

What does it mean to be dating? We hear this word all the time “Oh we are just dating” or “I am just dating” or “I need to go on more dates” So what does it mean to be dating??

In my opinion dating doesn’t mean to settle. I am a huge supporter of dating and of people finding and getting into relationships with amazing and great people. People who can bring out the best in you and who can make your life enjoyable, but often times I feel people rush into relationships just for the sake of not being alone. As much of propagator I am for relationships I am also a HUGE propagator that it is better to be single than to be stuck in a bad relationship or one with someone who is well to say the least just “ugh”.

Often I feel the need to explain what “dating” means. Dating in my opinion is like leasing a car. Drive it around a bit and see if you like it. You test out! You try out! And guess what?? There is a return policy when you are DATING.

Dating means meet more men and women.
Go out socially with them.
Get to know them.
Kiss and get a little freak nasty with them.
Then maybe call or never call them again.

Or if you find yourself liking them and they have grown on you and you feel you have found something you truly enjoy and love, then BUY it! Put a ring on it! Make it yours. If you’re not too sure… I suggest pick up another car and try that one out. That my friends in my opinion is “Dating”. No commitments. Just a bunch of test drives.

Now here are somethings you should avoid:

1. If you are not very into that guy or girl do not “date” for too long. You will be sending the wrong signal. Just move on go find you another one to test drive!

2. Don not expect for the guy or girl you are with to be loyal to you, if you are seeing more than one person…and if you are seeing someone else even as a love shack casual “walk of shame” then be open about it do not hide it. Karma is a B****

3. If you are dating someone and you REALLY DO like them.. then don’t be a chick sh*t and take the next step. Turn it into a serious mutual exclusive relationship. Worst thing is the guy or girl who wants the exclusivity, but is afraid to commit. It is like trying to get a free trial over and over again.

I often tell my clients if you have been what you would say “serious” with someone for over 3 years and you do not see the relationship going anywhere then why stay longer??? I was once in a long term relationship that just was not good. We were good as friends just not as a relationship. Worst mistake we both made was stay together and ride it till the wheels fell off! So If its been say 3 years and neither you nor them have taken a step then my thoughts are why wait around. Time is precious and so is your youth! so go find someone else who will appreciate you and will want to “buy now” and share a wonderful life with you.

How else do you think you will find the person whom you are best with and who you are completely in love with?

I do believe in high school sweethearts and that you do not have to date 100 people or even 5 to find someone you really fall in love with. My point is only you know if your truly happy with someone or if you are only with that person out of fear of being alone.

You see the whole thing about dating is searching for someone whom you have that “oh yeah” feeling and “click” with. Nothing can be more disappointing than a great person wasting away their time in a bad relationship or with someone who just isn’t that good to them. Youth and your prime dating age is ticking away so why waste it getting more and more entwined with someone that you really aren’t jumping up and down and swinging a terrible towel around for.

The world has so much more! Imagine if all you drove was a used tractor. Bumpy, dirty, slow as hell! And you never took a ride on a luxury sports car. Smooth, fast, young, vibrant and exhilarating! My wish for the ladies and the men out there is to not be afraid to be single. To be bold. To want to become better and more confident so you can go out there date more! If you feel you need a little guidance or some dating pin pointers check out my coaching services CLICK HERE


My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth, Relationships

Women and Relationships

As a Woman myself, you may be surprised I am putting women on blast, but I will and I do because I don’t believe in fluffy dating and relationship advice. So here are some facts about selfish women dating and in relationships. Yup Women and Relationships.

Many times in dating or relationships the man gets the short end of the stick. He is usually the first for people to assume the relationship went bad or who “broke” the girls heart. What I have come to find is many women cause the heartbreak; drama themselves! Then they get dumped or wonder why the guy they are with doesn’t want to make love with them anymore, cheats on them (no excuses for this one, men need to grow some huevos and breakup), and get dumped! But again, it is this selfish type woman who brings this all to her.

According to that a selfish woman has the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Requires excessive admiration.
4. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends) and lacks empathy.
5. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

I have had my fair share of encounters with women like those described above and have seen the interaction with their significant other or current boyfriend and I always wonder not only why is this guy putting up with her and also how does she manage to have 1 friend??

If you need more visualization, here are some clear examples when girl selfishness occurs:

1. The guy  is late for 5 minutes, for a woman it is like world war 3 is about to come.  When the guy showed up, whatever explanation that comes out from his mouth would never reach to her ears.

2. When the guy received a friendly message from a woman. His Girlfriend would then erupted with so many queries about cheating and blah blah and blah blah, not knowing that the woman is his sister.

3. When you two are together in a certain place and then some crazy things happen, somewhat like she forgot to bring her umbrella, make-up kit etc… She would say ,”IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Sound familiar?? Look, I do agree sometimes the guy DID forget to bring your make-up….. or in my case… I DID forget to bring my boyfriends suit for a wedding…. but he didn’t flip out! Why do we women have to flip out??

These are the kind of chicks I agree and you can say “B**** you crazy!” Good men stuck in relationships with these type of women… it happens. So men dating does not mean settling or having to put up with this behavior. And for my lady friends if you find yourself being guilty of any of the above I welcome you to inspect your life a little further and count how many friends you have, how many people actually like you and wonder if your boyfriend is only with you for now until he finds someone better…

For some coaching and how to become more well liked check out my dating services.

Know some crazy B*****s?? Share with me what you have noticed or witnessed.

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