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dating advice

Motherhood, People Skills, Personal Growth

One Trait We All Need To Teach Our Children

One Trait we all need to teach our children is Confidence. As kids it is winning in the playground and havng friends at lunch. As adults it translates to career success and sex appeal. What Is It And How Can You Get Some?  My response is  CONFIDENCE

If there is one skill I intend to cultivate in my children it being confident. Confidence gets you friends, gains you experience, keeps you focused, goal oriented and more importantly teaches you to respect your self.

Growing up neither Mark nor I were the kids who grew up in rich neighborhoods or had cool cars or clothes, but one thing we both had was confidence. Mark says he didn’t become confident until college when he stopped being shy and started to hangout with better people. I would consider myself as confident from an early age. My parents “shoved” me into swim lessons at age 3, dance and other “performance” type of activities. I may have been to young to remember my first puplic performances, but I attribute those moments to the fact that by 6th grade in elementary school I was able to run for class president and do a speech in front of my entire school body….. Confidence.

Confidence gets your kids the ability to say “no I am cool, don’t need to smoke weed”

“Nah I am not drinking tonight because I am driving home”

As adults confidence plays a role in your professional career and love life.

Don’t we all know that not so good looking guy or girl but they always
seem to date good looking and great people?

Ever think “man she’s too pretty for him” or vice versa?

When I was asked this question I quickly placed myself back to that
moment when I knew I was attracted to my husband. I asked myself what made me feel
attraction to them. Or I ask myself Hummmmm what Do I like about them?
What turns me on about them? What makes me want to see or talk to them
again? It was this thing called “sex appeal”

See you can meet a great person, intelligent good conversationalists,
kind, loving, etc but that don’t mean you want to get with them. Something about them doesn’t quite move you like
that.

We can say they are somewhat confident but they don’t quite move you.
Lord knows I had met many men prior to Mark that were like this that leave me with the “eh”
feeling. I leave impressed about them, but that’s about it.

What was it about him or other people that just ooze sex appeal?

Again my only logical answer is their
confidence.

Confident people are not afraid to point out their faults. If they have
messed up hair or teeth or a weird laugh, they are likely to point it out. They also point out things others would let slide like when you’re talking and you know
your not fully listening they would be the ones to say ” hey let’s
talk some other time because I can tell your not listening to me and I
rather talk when you can listen”
They are also the people who despite not having a perfect six pack
although that is welcomed and are usually never slobs can be
comfortable in their own skin and perform as if they were GQ model or Women with sex appeal would feel like they are a 36-24-36!IMG_20130629_194126

What does Confidence look like?    Like this————->  

hahaha ok you know I am favoring someone! But serioulsy here are some things

* It Walks With Purpose – When you enter a room do you have a destination? Do you know where you are headed? Or do you lollygag your way around and pause and walk and then turn around to where you entered?

* It Stands Tall– How is your body posture? Are you the hunch back of Norte Dame? Are your shoulders back, chin up? How you stand projects how you feel.

* It SMILES- Genuine, cheesy show me your teeth smile!

* It Makes Eye Contact – Not the creepy weirdo kind, but an intense “ I acknowledge you” look. Nothing turns me on more than a mans ability to look me in the eyes when I am talking and when he is talking to me!

* Wears Fashionable Clothing that “FITS” well- Cowboy boots, flip flops, suits, workout clothes, dressed, etc. Whatever it is, it is worn well and FITS not only physically but it fits who they are and what they do. Worst is someone who is NOT a beachbum pretend to be one or a wanna be 20 something year old who is really 50.

I can comfortably say that when I first met Mark he had all of the above and still does! That is why I married him!  Developing confidence within yourself is also possible. Learn to accept who you are and what you like first and not try to make yourself be someone you think others want to see. Loving and accepting yourself are the first signs of developing confidence.

 

Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts

Why Men Who Work Hard Are Attractive To Women

Why Men Who Work Hard Are Attractive To Women. Who go to work. Who fix things and drill and kill bugs when we see them. It’s in our nature. I didn’t write the human code or our DNA or talk to Adam and Eve about their issues, I just know it’s a fact of life and it’s a fact of male and women tendencies.  I am so thankful that my husband is one of those men. I grew up around a laboror man.. my father is the hardest working man I know! This man cannot just sit around. He knows how to relax, but prefers to be doing something. He helps around the house without hesitation …always. Recently we had to have a tree removed from our yard… my dad and Mark came to the rescue. I tried telling them to just hire someone, but bought hesitated to accept and decided to just do it  themselves. 20150107_115427

Women are made to give. They are adaptable and they love to please others. Women are always asking “what can I do for my man?” Women are thinking about the little things to do for you. The little notes to plant in your pockets. The dinners and romantic evenings she planned for the two of you. Basically all the things you as a man probably overlook and never gave a shit about! Hahaha. Women need to feel safe and they love acknowledgement! The “thank you” the “that dinner was amazing!” Not to get too much into it, because this article is about how women love men who labor, but to narrow it down to two fundamental needs a women has is acknowledgement and the sense of feeling “safe”.

As a man, how do you make a woman feel safe? Is it that you parade around like a bodyguard when you’re out in public? NO! I mean don’t get me wrong no woman wants to date a pansy, someone who can’t stand up for themselves or someone that wouldn’t confront a rude man who is trying to cause problems.

What I’m talking about is this,
The most important “safety” a woman cares about and needs is that the man she is with will always assume the role of the “Hunter”. Back in the days it literally was that, the men hunted and they brought home the food and items that would be used for shelter and survival. Obviously the tables have turned and there is no need for you to walk in to your home grabbing the fish by its head, but the “hunter” in you must be present.

menatwork

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By hunting I mean, going out there and working. Producing. Cultivating. Improving your and your future partners life. Women despite the change in roles we have seen in this last century with many women hitting the work place and many times earning more income than their mates, still the inner desire and need to feel “safe” stems back to the man assuming the role as a “provider”.
Don’t buy into the hoop-la of “Independent woman” stuff. See a woman WILL and CAN be independent, but even if she is and needs nothing from you economically, KNOWING that you can be the provider if needed is exactly what every woman wants to know.

So men, get off your ass and step up your game.

On this LABOR day ask yourself what are you “LABORing” on. How are you creating value for yourself? Are you acquiring a new skill? Are you planning for the future? Are you increasing your network? All these are things that increase your value.

If you’re a conservative reading this article, you may ask “well what happened to the more important things like trust, love and understanding?” I never said those were not important, but keep in mind a woman can have that and find that with her best friend or some family member. The workings of a great relationship between male and female long term must also fulfill the female needs and prove that the man she is with can and will “take care” of her.

Then there are the men who think women are “gold diggers!” that is an insecure man’s way of thinking. He is thinking “oh she is going to use me” and if your dumb and don’t stand for yourself then a woman with bad intentions would use you, and who’s fault is that? Yours! Not the girls. You as a man also set your parameters and remember that ultimately you can never buy love. You can buy purses and vacations and jewelry, but never lust or love. If you turn her on you turn her on because of your energy with her not what you buy her. What you buy will only at best provide decent sex and a complain to hang out with you until she finds someone better. If that’s all your looking for then go ahead keep it up. If not, you must not rely on your finances alone.
Let me finish by telling you this. Men are like Cars. All have an engine, 4 tires, doors and if it’s a working car it turns on and drives. A woman shops around first by her emotion, what looks and smells good to her. Basically what turns her on sexually. After that, to keep her you must show you can be reliable and go the distance. The less you show her this the less she wants to “ride”. Your sex life diminishes your intimacy level decrease and next thing you know she will start telling you its ladies night every weekend!

So on LABOR day and all others Go To Work and like my favorite comedian Russell Peters says “Be-A-Man” these fundamental instincts we have are exactly that, fundamental despite the changes in society and our times women and men will continue to have basic fundamental needs.

Love & Marriage, Relationships

What Makes A Relationship Last

What Makes A Relationship Last? If you have been a loyal reader and friend, you know me quite well that I LOVE to share my two cents about dating, relationships and just people in general. I truly enjoy the whole allure of love, seduction and attraction. My life has been full of meeting great people, dating them, working with them and establishing an amazing relationship with my now soulmate and husband Mar.. Although often times I teach people how to date and find that special someone, at no rush of course, but I would also like to share and teach others how to maintain and make the current relationship steamy and oh so good! I have gone on many dates so when it comes to meeting people and understanding attraction, I proudly share with you that I have found an amazing man and have just as an amazing relationship. My husband makes me feel like the most loved and important woman in the world! He makes me laugh, smile and still gives me goosebumps! I love him and wish for you all to cultivate the same feelings in yours!

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Many times I feel people get stuck in just “OK” relationships believing this is as good as it can get. I too have been in relationships like that or dated men that were not the best, but often I thought “well he is cute” or “he is successful” all along I really was not attracted to them nor where they good for me.

So what makes a relationship tick? What do you do to keep that butterfly feeling in your stomach and the goose bumps coming?

What Makes A Relationship Last

I openly share that with my boyfriend now, I STILL get goose bumps when he hugs me or simply caresses me. So what is it that makes a relationship last? How do you keep that intensity of attraction, love and understanding? Well I don’t have a simple answer and it would be the world’s longest blog post, but I do plan to share with you a few observations of great relationships and what I feel they do to keep the love going. If you would like to get the full scoop on how to attract the man or woman you want in your life and KEEP them, check out my coaching program. For now, please look out for this upcoming series that I like to call Keeping Good Relationships and Making Them Great!

Having a successful relationship is truly something that must be worked on and of course it has to be with someone you have real chemistry and a connection with. You can not read this or take my advice and apply it to the next thing you walk by, it just will not work. Assuming you are in a great relationship now or have recently met someone you feel there is chemistry with below I share a few fundamentals of what I believe that make up a great relationship:

1. Keep God In Your Relationship. Praying Together Is Magical!
2. Never Lose Appreciation For Each Other
3. Be Present When You Are Together- Disconnect Yourself!
4. Find A Hobby You Both Enjoy and Do It Together
5. Know Your Partners Love Language
6. Be Each Others Number 1 Fan
7. The Sooner You Forget Each Others Real Name, The Better The Love Gets!
8. Root For The Home Team…. And Theirs!
9. Listen Intensely
10. Dates Are Not Just For New Couples
11. Do Not Use Social Networks To Talk Bad About Your Other Half
12. Keep Up With Your Looks
13. Stand Up For Each Other
14. Resolve Things ASAP and Do Not Carry Past With You.

In then next few days I will expand my thoughts and advice on each of the above mentioned things to help you find and keep that spark in your love life going. Because I do not claim to be the only one with a great relationship, I would love to invite you my friends in great relationships to comment and add below a one thing your partner does to show you that you are the world to them.

Are you in a great relationship and want to share what keeps it great? Connect with me on FACEBOOK.

Love & Marriage, Relationships

How To Keep Intimacy Fun And Exciting

How do you keep intimacy fun and exciting. Do you find yourself thinking “missionary… again!??” People may argue with me, but the number one sign a relationship is going bad or is already at the point of reconciliation is when your love life gets bad. However, even while it is good there are still many things you can do to make sure you keep it alive. This can be a very personal matter for couples most do not like to talk about it, but I feel it is something that should be addressed and not neglected. Often times we think it will “just be good”. There are many dynamics of course that determine the awesomeness of your love life with your partner and in this post I will only share the physical things we do have control over. I have complied a few tips from many couples that have successful loving and happy relationships and here are some things they do to keep their loved ones yearning for the next romp session!

1. Snap Out of the Routine
If you find yourself getting it on at the exact same time and the exact same part of the week or month for your sex starved readers… then snap out of it! This time initiate a romp session at a different time or day. If Friday nights are the once a week you get it on with your partner why not sneak them in the room on a Wednesday night. These types of actions will not only keep your loved one in suspense and guessing, but will be very healthy for your relationship. “One of my favorite things my husband does is the minute I walk into the house he comes over begins to kiss me all over my neck and little by little leads me into the hallway and next thing you know were engaged in a full on love making session….” – anonymous contributor.

2. Make Out Sessions
A great friend of mine shared with me this tip and little action that I believe is often overlooked and very much enjoyed especially by women. Foreplay!! Having your make out session last longer and then doing the dirty just makes it so much better! Too many times love making becomes a task for people. Like I seriously think some couples think “humm well its been about a week I guess we should be making love if were a good couple… ok take your clothes off…” come one!! The intensity make out sessions provoke is almost irresistible! So next time before rushing into things, take it a little slow, and appreciate each other and every part of them.

3. Props

What would a movie be without music? What would a house be without furniture? Now please pay attention to this one: You HAVE to know your partner. This is not a tip or suggestion that works for everyone. Some people just do not like flavored oils, toys or costume get ups. There is only one way to find out. Keep in mind to be open to the out of the box “props” you may be thinking of. Let your imagination and the creative side of you take over. Maybe you show up with his favorite team jersey on or one day you have silk gloves if you know your partner is ticklish… who knows! The point is don’t be stuck in a box and venture a little bit and have fun!

Love & Marriage, Personal Growth, Relationships

Technology Free Time

Whether you are in a relationship or not. I felt that this tip of mine can be useful for ALL relationships, not just those full of sexual energy. We all have someone special in your lives, don’t we? One of the best things you can do is disconnect, to connect! Technology free time is what we all need!

no-technology

In today’s world we are more connected than ever! Mobile phones and social networks have made our lives almost feel like the Truman Show, where many times we forget that the only person you are putting on a “show” for should be you! So many times we are not enjoying the present for fear of not being able to “connect” or have a need to “share” it with millions of others. In a relationship learn to be present when you are together- Disconnect Yourself and have technology free time.
technology free time

A very close friend of mine in a successful relationship shared this tip with me. “Designate certain “technology-free” times, when you just spend time with each other — no cell phones, computers, iPads, tv, etc. Use that time to cook and eat dinner together, play a game, go for a walk, or do something else “unplugged.”” During these times are when you and your significant other should communicate. Have conversations about what you are going through. Share with them your thoughts and feelings. When I was dating a lot, the worst thing a guy could do is text while on the date. That rule applies not only while dating, but I also think during the times you’re with your significant other you should hold the same level of respect. Not answering your phone for 30 minutes while enjoying dinner or a walk with the dogs is not going to kill your business. And if it is, then what type of unsuccessful business are you running?

But the person you are with may not be just the boyfriend of girlfriend. What about time with your friends? Or your mother? The lesson here is disconnecting will help you connect better with the people you are around physically on this world with. You do remember that we are human beings made of flesh and have emotions and can talk and are more than a Facebook status or a virtual game..right?? SO act like it! 🙂

Love & Marriage, Relationships

Words Of Appreciation

We all know that there are words of appreciation, but are there certain actions to show appreciation?
I_Love_You_Note_Appreciation-300x225

If I could single handedly blame one reason why relationships that at one point were great, completely turn negative it would be exactly this, a loss of appreciation from both parties.

I have witnessed many relationships both intimate, friendships and business relationships go completely sour when one party fails to maintain respect and appreciation for the other. I remember learning a few years back “people do not have to do things for you”. Here is one example we can all relate to; a birthday party. No one has to go. So why throw one and why attend? People go because they choose to. Why? You appreciate that person and want to make sure you show them. Well on the flip side, if you choose not to attend and you make this a habit of never attending your friends parties or things that they throw then soon enough you will find yourself alone because people will have seen that you really do not care to make time for them and neither will they.

In my relationship, I always make a conscious effort to thank my fiance verbally when he does things for me and I also make an effort to show him through actions I appreciate him. So what can you do today, to show the person you are with that you love them and appreciate them? Here are a few of the things I like to do and that he does to make me feel like a queen!

Cuddle Time
There isn’t anything I enjoy more it is the cuddle time I get to spend and get from my fiance. Regardless of how busy or stressful your day may have been, cuddling is like asprin, it can cure everything! Make time to enjoy each other.

Cook For Them
So maybe you are not the best cook! Who cares! Nothing shows I care more than preparing something for your loved one. It can be a smoothie for gosh sakes! Throw a bunch of fruit, juice and ice and blend that baby! Or simply pouring a glass of wine. Preparing something and “serving” your other half sends major “I care about you” signals.

Your Partner Is NOT A Mind Reader

This may be the hardest for people to achieve because most people were raised not to be expressive and openly share their thoughts and feelings. I come from a very touchy feely family and my personality is very expressive, so I admit it is the hardest for me to see why people cannot be expressive. Nonetheless, your partner needs to know and be reminded that you like, love, care or think about them. Whether you say it verbally or write it in a note, just do it and genuinely mean it. I tell my partner almost every morning when I wake up and my head is laying on his shoulder that I love him. Often times I find myself receiving a peck on the forehead and him saying the same to me…. I tell you that makes me melt!! Men, forehead kisses is where it is at!

Friendships are simple. Business partnerships are simple. Love is a simple thing too. If you appreciate what is in your life and what people do for you, you will always find yourself surrounded by people who show you the same.
What are some things you, your significant other or a friend does to you that shows you appreciation? Please share with us!

Entrepreneur's Corner, Health & Fitness, My Thoughts

5 Tips For Better Sleep

Do you and your partner share a bedroom or do you have a playroom? So as I have previously shared I am one of millions of women reading Fifty Shades Of Grey. I found it quite interesting how they describe Christians’ “bedroom” as the “playroom” I paused for a minute and thought to myself is my bedroom a “playroom” enough? Through my conversations with clients and casual conversations with friends I realized most peoples’ bedrooms are not only NOT bedroom ready, but definitely not playroom ready either. I believe a bedroom whether you share it with someone or just yourself should be somewhere were two things are achieved: Rest and Recreation.

Here are 5 quick Tips to remake your bedroom for better relaxation or play, if that is what you want.

 

bettersleep
5 Tips For Better Sleep
1. Keep Your Bedroom Clean & Clutter Less

I know it sounds repetitive, but really people: Clean Your Room! Just like your momma taught you! A cluttered room will definitely not set the mood, but it is also hard to fall asleep and sleep well when you have to find your way to your bed with all your crap all over the place. You will find yourself restless and thinking of the things you have to do & clean. It is a physical sign that leaves you feeling cluttered and dirty.

2. For Good Fung Shui Have Bed With Feet Pointing Towards Door

Not a Fung Shui expert, but there you have it. This weekend do some rearranging and google all about it!

3. Avoid Displaying Photos

Don’t know about you, but if you have a picture of your mom staring at you from your night stand…. I am not too sure how “in the mood” you can get. I say leave the photo collage and family trees pics for other areas of the house. Your bedroom is like a sanctuary and you want to keep a minimal display of visualization that brings about emotions of :
A.) Accomplishment or goals( this will cause restlessness because you will want to start working on it ASAP if your anything like me)
B.) Love for family (It will scare away the tigress and bring out a wimpy kitty)

4. Nightstand Essentials

Water, baby wipes and paper towels.. yeah I said it! Trust me you will be thanking me one night as you reach over your convenient nightstand drawer 😉

5. Sturdy Bed & Mattress

Ok people get your head out of the gutter!! Nah, your right that was exactly what I was thinking. Nothing can annoy me and kill the mood more than an uncomfortable mattress and squeaky bed!

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Love & Marriage, Relationships

What Does It Mean To Be Dating

What does it mean to be dating? We hear this word all the time “Oh we are just dating” or “I am just dating” or “I need to go on more dates” So what does it mean to be dating??

In my opinion dating doesn’t mean to settle. I am a huge supporter of dating and of people finding and getting into relationships with amazing and great people. People who can bring out the best in you and who can make your life enjoyable, but often times I feel people rush into relationships just for the sake of not being alone. As much of propagator I am for relationships I am also a HUGE propagator that it is better to be single than to be stuck in a bad relationship or one with someone who is well to say the least just “ugh”.

Often I feel the need to explain what “dating” means. Dating in my opinion is like leasing a car. Drive it around a bit and see if you like it. You test out! You try out! And guess what?? There is a return policy when you are DATING.

Dating means meet more men and women.
Go out socially with them.
Get to know them.
Kiss and get a little freak nasty with them.
Then maybe call or never call them again.

Or if you find yourself liking them and they have grown on you and you feel you have found something you truly enjoy and love, then BUY it! Put a ring on it! Make it yours. If you’re not too sure… I suggest pick up another car and try that one out. That my friends in my opinion is “Dating”. No commitments. Just a bunch of test drives.

Now here are somethings you should avoid:

1. If you are not very into that guy or girl do not “date” for too long. You will be sending the wrong signal. Just move on go find you another one to test drive!

2. Don not expect for the guy or girl you are with to be loyal to you, if you are seeing more than one person…and if you are seeing someone else even as a love shack casual “walk of shame” then be open about it do not hide it. Karma is a B****

3. If you are dating someone and you REALLY DO like them.. then don’t be a chick sh*t and take the next step. Turn it into a serious mutual exclusive relationship. Worst thing is the guy or girl who wants the exclusivity, but is afraid to commit. It is like trying to get a free trial over and over again.

I often tell my clients if you have been what you would say “serious” with someone for over 3 years and you do not see the relationship going anywhere then why stay longer??? I was once in a long term relationship that just was not good. We were good as friends just not as a relationship. Worst mistake we both made was stay together and ride it till the wheels fell off! So If its been say 3 years and neither you nor them have taken a step then my thoughts are why wait around. Time is precious and so is your youth! so go find someone else who will appreciate you and will want to “buy now” and share a wonderful life with you.

How else do you think you will find the person whom you are best with and who you are completely in love with?

I do believe in high school sweethearts and that you do not have to date 100 people or even 5 to find someone you really fall in love with. My point is only you know if your truly happy with someone or if you are only with that person out of fear of being alone.

You see the whole thing about dating is searching for someone whom you have that “oh yeah” feeling and “click” with. Nothing can be more disappointing than a great person wasting away their time in a bad relationship or with someone who just isn’t that good to them. Youth and your prime dating age is ticking away so why waste it getting more and more entwined with someone that you really aren’t jumping up and down and swinging a terrible towel around for.

The world has so much more! Imagine if all you drove was a used tractor. Bumpy, dirty, slow as hell! And you never took a ride on a luxury sports car. Smooth, fast, young, vibrant and exhilarating! My wish for the ladies and the men out there is to not be afraid to be single. To be bold. To want to become better and more confident so you can go out there date more! If you feel you need a little guidance or some dating pin pointers check out my coaching services CLICK HERE

HAVE YOUR OWN OPINION ABOUT DATING? LEAVE US A COMMENT AND SHARE WITH US WITH YOU THINK BELOW.

My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth, Relationships

Women and Relationships

As a Woman myself, you may be surprised I am putting women on blast, but I will and I do because I don’t believe in fluffy dating and relationship advice. So here are some facts about selfish women dating and in relationships. Yup Women and Relationships.

Many times in dating or relationships the man gets the short end of the stick. He is usually the first for people to assume the relationship went bad or who “broke” the girls heart. What I have come to find is many women cause the heartbreak; drama themselves! Then they get dumped or wonder why the guy they are with doesn’t want to make love with them anymore, cheats on them (no excuses for this one, men need to grow some huevos and breakup), and get dumped! But again, it is this selfish type woman who brings this all to her.

According to Askmen.com that a selfish woman has the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Requires excessive admiration.
4. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends) and lacks empathy.
5. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

I have had my fair share of encounters with women like those described above and have seen the interaction with their significant other or current boyfriend and I always wonder not only why is this guy putting up with her and also how does she manage to have 1 friend??

If you need more visualization, here are some clear examples when girl selfishness occurs:

1. The guy  is late for 5 minutes, for a woman it is like world war 3 is about to come.  When the guy showed up, whatever explanation that comes out from his mouth would never reach to her ears.

2. When the guy received a friendly message from a woman. His Girlfriend would then erupted with so many queries about cheating and blah blah and blah blah, not knowing that the woman is his sister.

3. When you two are together in a certain place and then some crazy things happen, somewhat like she forgot to bring her umbrella, make-up kit etc… She would say ,”IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Sound familiar?? Look, I do agree sometimes the guy DID forget to bring your make-up….. or in my case… I DID forget to bring my boyfriends suit for a wedding…. but he didn’t flip out! Why do we women have to flip out??

These are the kind of chicks I agree and you can say “B**** you crazy!” Good men stuck in relationships with these type of women… it happens. So men dating does not mean settling or having to put up with this behavior. And for my lady friends if you find yourself being guilty of any of the above I welcome you to inspect your life a little further and count how many friends you have, how many people actually like you and wonder if your boyfriend is only with you for now until he finds someone better…

For some coaching and how to become more well liked check out my dating services.

Know some crazy B*****s?? Share with me what you have noticed or witnessed.
 

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