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My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth, Relationships

Women and Relationships

As a Woman myself, you may be surprised I am putting women on blast, but I will and I do because I don’t believe in fluffy dating and relationship advice. So here are some facts about selfish women dating and in relationships. Yup Women and Relationships.

Many times in dating or relationships the man gets the short end of the stick. He is usually the first for people to assume the relationship went bad or who “broke” the girls heart. What I have come to find is many women cause the heartbreak; drama themselves! Then they get dumped or wonder why the guy they are with doesn’t want to make love with them anymore, cheats on them (no excuses for this one, men need to grow some huevos and breakup), and get dumped! But again, it is this selfish type woman who brings this all to her.

According to Askmen.com that a selfish woman has the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Requires excessive admiration.
4. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends) and lacks empathy.
5. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

I have had my fair share of encounters with women like those described above and have seen the interaction with their significant other or current boyfriend and I always wonder not only why is this guy putting up with her and also how does she manage to have 1 friend??

If you need more visualization, here are some clear examples when girl selfishness occurs:

1. The guy is late for 5 minutes, for a woman it is like world war 3 is about to come. When the guy showed up, whatever explanation that comes out from his mouth would never reach to her ears.

2. When the guy received a friendly message from a woman. His Girlfriend would then erupted with so many queries about cheating and blah blah and blah blah, not knowing that the woman is his sister.

3. When you two are together in a certain place and then some crazy things happen, somewhat like she forgot to bring her umbrella, make-up kit etc… She would say ,”IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Sound familiar?? Look, I do agree sometimes the guy DID forget to bring your make-up….. or in my case… I DID forget to bring my boyfriends suit for a wedding…. but he didn’t flip out! Why do we women have to flip out??

These are the kind of chicks I agree and you can say “B**** you crazy!” Good men stuck in relationships with these type of women… it happens. So men dating does not mean settling or having to put up with this behavior. And for my lady friends if you find yourself being guilty of any of the above I welcome you to inspect your life a little further and count how many friends you have, how many people actually like you and wonder if your boyfriend is only with you for now until he finds someone better…

For some coaching and how to become more well liked check out my dating services.

Know some crazy B*****s?? Share with me what you have noticed or witnessed.

Add a Comment Below and Share With Me If You Have Other Suggestions

by CasaDeWinn

My Thoughts, People Skills, Relationships

Top 5 Things NOT To Say To Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Hello again! Are their certain things that are better left unsaid? Here are top 5 things NOT to say to your girlfriend or Boyfriend. Recently I had the chance to catch up with an old friend and as old friends do, of course we talked…. Boyfriends& relationships! The good, bad, awesomeness and the headaches. I was reminded through this casual catch up of some of the darnest things boyfriends (and girlfriends) can say to their other half. So since I often share with you guys the “what to says” and “how to say it” today I am venturing to share with you a few of the “What not to say”. If you know someone who is guilty of any of the these…. Maybe you can do them and me a favor and post it on their wall as a “suggested read”

Here are the top 5 things NOT to say to your girlfriend or boyfriend:

#5 Don’t Cut Your Hair or Cut Your Hair

Ok I agree most men do prefer long hair vs. short hair and every man is entitled to their opinion just like every woman is entitled to do what ever the heck she wants with her hair! So ladies, if ya feel like chopping it off do it! And men it doesn’t make you any more powerful or manly to tell your girlfriend what she can and cannot do with her hair. Same goes for men. Men can have out of control hair and a beard… the grizzly look, who cares. If that is what they want so be it.

Advice: Learn to share your opinion those are always welcomed, but neither men nor women like it when you give them instructions.

#4 I Will Dump You If You Get Fat.

Ok this has to be the most immature and insecure thing you can say to someone. This really reminds me of the high school relationships. If someone feels they need to say this to you, clearly they do not love you or are not into you as much as you would hope they would be and they are one super insecure individual that they care a lot about appearances and not about the emotional tie the relationship brings.

Advice: Reconsider this relationship.

#3 You’re Not As Good As My Ex

Ok so after you slap him… and if it was your girlfriend who said that then you giving her the silent treatment and “dump via text” is forgiven.The “Exes” are always interesting. If you are the one telling your current BF/GF that they are not as good, then you have an issue with decision making and confidence. Soooo you’re are still thinking of your ex, but you are not with them? They dumped you I am sure! For certain reasons one of which i can venture to say is that you are pretty lame. So If your BF/GF ever says this to you, please see it as a wake up call that the lame-ass in them is shining through and you should notice it and run the other direction.

Advice: Reconsider this relationship.

#2 Oh She’s Hot! Oh He’s Hot!

File this one under “A” for extremely freaking Annoying! Nothing can annoy me more than a guy or a girl saying the opposite sex is “Hot” right in front of their significant other. Why? I don’t get it. It’s natural to look, normal to admire, but just downright stupid to vocalize to your boyfriend or girlfriend that someone is hot. Are you trying to make him or her jealous? Ok so maybe you have a celebrity crush, hey that is fine who doesn’t, but saying every guy or girl you see, sniff out, or spot are “Oh soo hot” “Oh lo amp” come-on now! Give me a break. I am annoyed for your boyfriend and the girlfriend! In some relationships, there may be a mutual understand to point out to each other if other men or women are hot and hey I respect that … I guess… If you are the girl or guy allowing your significant other to continue this type of behavior than I guess you deserve a mediocre relationship with someone who is “kind of” into you for now until they find someone better than you.

Advice: I would be careful because what goes around, eventually if your the type of guy or girl who is guilty of this, then this behavior will come around to you. You are training your significant other to do exactly what you are doing, but maybe this time his/her version of “Oh they’re so hot” may be a reality and they just might dump ya for the “hot one”.

The #1 thing NOT to say to your girlfriend or boyfriend: “I Love You” When You Do Not Mean It.

Enough said.

Please add your comments below and share with me any other “What not to say to your boyfriend and girlfriend” .

Add a Comment Below to let me hear what you think!

by CasaDeWinn

Love & Marriage, Relationships

Does Sex Drive Die With Age?

Does sex drive die with age. Do our sex lives really start to suck at age 28 and 34? What a LIE!! At least I would have to speak for myself. Mine has arrived and it is here to stay! Can I hear an AMEN! If you feel me then LEAVE a COMMENT BELOW 🙂

But look for yourself here is the full article from MSN written below:

“If you’re a 33-year-old man or a 28-year-old woman, enjoy getting it on while it lasts. Researchers have pinpointed those as the ages at which men and women enjoy the best sex of their lives. The survey also determined that men generally lose their virginity around 18 and are most sexually active around age 29, while women tend to have sex for the first time around age 17 and are most active at age 25, reinforcing that “practice makes perfect” truism. The survey, conducted by the British sex-toy company Lovehoney, contradicts previous findings that men reach peak sexuality at age 18, women at 30. It’s a sad day indeed in “cougar” land.”

LINK to article http://now.msn.com/living/0528-best-sex-survey.aspx

I really find it hard to believe that people can loose there sex drive at that age because at 18 to 26 I was miss awkward and non sexual. Now as I have matured I feel sexier and more sexual than ever! (and it doesn’t hurt that I have an amazing partner…) Now if you are sadly in this category then please do check out my link on COACHING SERVICES not only can I help you meet the right man or woman… you have to make sure your sex drive gets resuscitated and well… he or she’s doesn’t run away from you!

Add a Comment Below and Share With Me If You Have Other Suggestions

by CasaDeWinn

My Thoughts, People Skills, Relationships

Young Love

It is old news to most, Mark Zuckerberg married his long time girlfriend of 8 years this weekend in a small intimate ceremony accompanied by no more than 100 guest. The news brought a smile to my face as it is great to see two people whom love each other make a commitment in front of friends and family to share their love.

Another thing that brought a smile to my face in a kind of a “take that” type of attitude was the two ultra successful under 30 year old people dated for 8 years, yes people while they were working on their success, became successful and then got hitched!

Take that for young people not being able to date and be successful!
In my early immature days I had been exposed to the idea that young people could not date and become successful. One of the “successful” people I once looked at for mentorship used to always claim his secret for success was discipline and focus. He was young mid-twenties, male and had not dated for more than 8 years!! I always found this extremely rare (and strange)! I just didn’t see how it was humanly possible. I mean we are mammals that need love, attention, and sex how is it possible you can go that long without getting any of that? Gosh, can you imagine the amount of zits this person had from all the sexual frustration?!?!

And supposedly not dating and being focused would help you become more successful?

I’m thinking it would make me more stressed out and more irate.

The funny thing is I always noticed this “dedicated and focused mentor” be exactly that… stressed out and miserable!

It wasn’t until years later, once I put a few things together on how he never dated any women, but always seemed to have boy slumber parties and boy bed partners that I realized maybe he never dated or was intimate with any girls, but he seemed to always have boys sleepovers. Then i realized his sexual preference! I am totally open to all sexual preferences, my closes friends would be the first to tell you how supportive I am of it. I just think its extremely low class to pretend to be someone you are not. So this “focused-non-dating” individual painted this image to the public as this purist hero and role model for “work now and become successful” and not to be side tracked by dating, but in reality he proved my point that 8 years without any love, attention and affection would be pretty darn miserable… so that is where the boy slumber parties feel into place, it fed his need to “be close” to another person. Meanwhile, the other guys in those particular slumber parties were in awe of being so close to this purist hero, role model person, never suspected that they were only bait.

My point is… Be Open with Everyone! and Find Love! Now!

Today, I find it fitting to take a few minutes to share with everyone that despite what people may believe that it is impossible to be in a relationship and become successful, I don’t think there is a better example than Mr. and Mrs. Zuckerberg tying the knot. The two met 8 years ago, that means pre Facebook days people! Mrs. Zuckerberg was a medical student at Harvard and Zuckerberg an out of the box computer programmer developing what today can soon become the single most impactful invention in our lives…. Can you say they were busy?

Do you think that were pretty focused and ambitious?

I think so!

Making your love life wait and putting it on hold until you become successful is just a formula for disaster in my opinion. Should certain things take priorities? Of course! But to completely overlook love and finding a love partner is to me extremely immature and not very smart. You might as well just get a mail-order bride/groom if you end up successful and single. Most (wo)men … ugh 99% of them will want you for your worth and not for you. It is the stark truth people. I wish I could say that at that stage in your success you can find someone who loves you for who you are not for what you have…. But I am just not that confident to say that it is possible.

So lesson here is why make love wait. You can work hard in many areas of your life… except love! If your having trouble then seek professional help and check out my dating services

Add a Comment Below to let me hear what you think!

dr-kelvin.com

by CasaDeWinn

My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth, Relationships

When Nobody Likes You

I hate to be a Debbie Downer with a topic, I actually had my doubts on whether I should write about this or not because I feel very strongly and I am against Bullies, people who are mean to others and those who feel are superior to others and like to belittle others. In fact this post is more in support to all those who have been bullied or have to put up with peoples uncalled for and nasty ways of dealing with people… hence, THEY are the ones nobody likes and those whom the rest of us can learn from their “relationship failures”.

I speak a lot about dating and developing good relationships…true most of the time it revolves around love …. That is because I can’t help, but to be a romantic! But what happens when you are the one who nobody likes. For example, recently I came across this:

Why is it that some people even on a social space like Facebook where people whored around the word “friends” some people just can’t get any?? And I know some are thinking “Well I never go on Facebook and I don’t care about interacting with people on their I rather interact in person”. I agree to the rather interact in person, but not so much with ignoring what today is pretty much a way of communication and living whether we like it or not… Virtual communication is here to stay people! So GET CONNECT PEOPLE! Umm.. go ahead and LIKE my page and connect with me now while your at it : CONNECT WITH ME

Now the easy thinig to say is “well they rather have a small group of friends than be liked by everybody” and I agree some people do choose to have a small intimate group of friends, but I also feel that is an excuse for the “nobody likes them folks” to explain their lack of friends and being liked. You see in my opinion having few friends can be looked at in a two ways:

You Have Few Friends Because YOU Choose It;
You Have Few To NO Friends Because Nobody Likes You.

They way I strive to be build my life is with this philosophy:

Have Close Nit Circle of Friends And Be Well Liked And Respected By Many!

Why not! You can develop that if you choose too.

So from those folks that “nobody likes” there is something to learn from a failure of friends.

So I and you should ask also :

What do these people do to repeal so many people?

How do they act?

Here are a few things I have noticed and will point out about these loners:

They talk badly about someone to others, and then go hangout with that person as if they are their best friend.

“ Yeah so&so is such a B***! I cant stand her..you know what she did…”

“Oh so&so of course! Lets hang out this weekend! I’m dying too see you!”

2. They are always devaluing your own accomplishments and speaking about how theirs are so much better.

“That’s cool about your companies bonus I guess…my company gave me a much bigger bonus…”

3. Talking way too much about themselves in a show off type of way

“So yeah like I have sooooo many friends and were just going to have like 3 weddings, 2 honeymoons and top notch all open bar”

“OMG like I cant walk down the street without a guy hollering at me. I have great legs, they just cant stop looking at me”

4.They do not acknowledge people

Scenario: Loner joins the rest of a dinner table full of people, by just sliding in and not saying hi to anyone and they leave without saying goodbye.

5. Are fair weather friends – Friends only when it is convenient to them.

6. Have a critique about everything you do!

7. When in a relationship they seclude everyone except their significant other.

Girlfriend/Boyfriend in town or they just got one = You are forgotten about.

8. Have no loyalty or appreciation. Have my fair share of these folks!

9. They are the “obnoxious drunk” or the extreme “stiffy” friend.

So your at the bar and everyone is drinking or dancing or sharing their steamy s*x stories, but that one clearly-not-religious friend of yours is Mr./Mrs. Closed.- ANNOYING! Why even go hang out??!!

Or you go out and they are the ones drinking & talking so loudly you start wondering if you are out with a friend or a little kid.

Many of have known or know people like this. Some even continue to give these people the time and day ! Why? Not sure, maybe because they feel bad which is a very noble thing to think or feel you are “helping” them. But I believe what makes relationships strong and friendships valuable is when someone can knock some sense in you and not just allow you to keep making the same mistakes. Sometimes the most noble and helpful thing you can do for someone is to bluntly show them the effects of their actions.

Hey do me a favor, let us hear your opinions and comment below and if you LIKED IT , then help me

To building great friendships, sharing love and finding your soulmate!

by CasaDeWinn

Love & Marriage, My Thoughts, Personal Growth, Relationships

Social Media Bad Manners

This has to be one of the most annoying and worst things you can do for your own image… why use social networks to talk bad about YOUR significant other? Maybe you got in a fight and you are upset. Maybe you have issues with communication and not being able to express yourself you’re your half emo so you rather sit behind a computer and talk badly or express your frustrations with your other half to your online friends. Ok you are forgiven. However, if after reading this and you continue or you know a friend who does this and you let them continue then shame on you!

My question to you is, “why are you still with this person???” If they cause you so much anger, pain, annoyance and everything else, is the $ex really that good?? Maybe it is your sugar momma/daddy and your bills need to get paid somehow. Or is it that you are married? Whatever it is, in my opinion you have no excuse. I have said it again and again: I rather eat beans for the rest of my life than to be so dependent of someone financially that I have to put up with fights, rules and just a lot of unhappiness.
I know of several people in business with others where they put up with their business partners unrealistic expectations and just odd “rules”. They pretty much sell their freedom and soul to them to trade it for money. How sad. In relationships I hope that if there is true love buried somewhere that the two parties involve have enough patience and understanding where they can work it out. In the mean time watch what you put out to the public.

Don’t post cryptic status messages for all to see every time you get into a fight. Posts cryptic status messages that make it obvious you are pissed at whatever guy/girl you’re dating at the time is not cool. If you have mutual friends and all those same friends are seeing your negative post about the guy/girl all your friends know, you are only making your friends feel awkward and of course wonder what’s going on…here are some examples:

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you..”

Oh and “It’s Complicated” Relationship Status

“What’s good for tonight? Tryna find somethin to do since my boyfriend would rather go to a whack ass club..smfh”

Bottom line is, don’t air your dirty laundry out in public. If you have major issues keep reading my post, contact me so you can work on becoming a better communicator so you can address these and any issues. Have some funny annonymous relationship social network status you want to share?

by CasaDeWinn

Love & Marriage, My Thoughts, Relationships

The 5 Love Languages

If you have ever wondered why your girlfriend never seems to be content or happy when you by her gifts? Or maybe that he never seems to care that you do errands around the house? We all have our own little way of showing how we love others and how we like to be loved. If you believe that we are all created equal and can be treated the exact same way then you must also believe in the tooth fairy and should not ignore this post. Several years ago I came across this book and I learned about this theory of the The 5 love languages it really changed my life and I give it credit for helping me create and maintain a loving, respectful & abundant relationship with my fiance, but I would be naive to think what to me feels like a fairytale relationship, would stay this way on it’s own without some bumps in the road. So the 5 love languages are an important to understand. Here is a quick video to help you visually see and understand the 5 love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch.

Relationships and people are ever growing beings! We are like plants. We will have our times of full bloom and our times when our flowers die and a time when the soil we are planted in needs time to replenish its nutrients in the soil…to bloom again. During this metamorphosis, we as the girlfriends, wives, husbands, etc . of someone can be ugly, irrational, unappreciative people. So are ALL relationships that go through these withering times bound to fail? How then do you explain those that rebound from these times and grow stronger together?
In my opinion bad relationships boil down to two people not chemically connected (which means they wouldn’t be dating too long) and for those in a long relationship turning sour it is most likely two people speaking the incorrect love language to one another and a lot of misunderstanding. If you have ever felt unappreciative, not loved, respected and not wanted it may not always be that your partner really doesn’t love you he or she is simply speaking to you in the wrong love language.

I cannot stress to you enough if you are in a relationship to familarize yourself with this theory and understand the 5 languages of love. So what is your love language? Stop hesitating and click here to take the test and learn more!http://www.5lovelanguages.com

Share with us what Love Language you are! Leave me a comment below or connect with me on FACEBOOK

by CasaDeWinn

Love & Marriage, People Skills, Relationships

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone Fast

Oh the friend zone!! So beautiful to have a close friend, but yet so darn aggravating to have just a great friend. Do you have your eyes on somebody? They answer your calls? Hangout with you, but they see you only as a “friend”? Here is how to how to get out of the friend zone fast…

This has to be one of the most annoying zones to be in and I will share with you a few tips on how to get out of that zone.

I remember when I was in high school, I was the QUEEN of the Friend Zone. I had so many guy friends, more than guys themselves! I hung out with them, but no more than that. I was never the girl they wanted to date. As I got older I got smarter and well looking better also helped, but I learned a few things I could do to change it from just a friend to someone they would like to date.

Do Not Make Them The Priority
Biggest mistake we can make is make them think your world reveolves around them. Do you find yourself saying “YES” to everything they want to do or say? If you are catering your weekends, phone calls and plans to them then… STOP IT! Next time tell them your busy or a simple “I’m not sure about that”.
Make More Friends
Yeah this one is easy… just make more friends. Whether it is new ones or the same ones you have, make sure to dedicate some time to them too and not just your lover Friend.

Look A Little Different
If this friend always sees you dressed a certain way maybe you are a little comfortable with them so you don’t dress your best or maybe your hair doesn’t look as great as it could… change it up! Next time you know you will see them make sure you make the extra effort to get the “Damn you lookin sexyyy”

The interesting thing is that once you find that special someone… it is the FRIENDSHIP built that keeps the two of you together for a lifetime! Love+Friendship is the winning combo!

by CasaDeWinn

Love & Marriage, People Skills, Relationships

Dating Your Friend

In dating, sometimes what you are looking for can be right under your nose. In this post I expose the often ignored dating market that if considered can turn up surprising results. Dating your friend is one of the best things that can happen to you.

As many of you know I have been intrigued by business and capitalism since a young age. I began my first business venture at about the age of 7 when my older brother and I used to go around our neighborhood selling strawberries and tomatoes to all our neighbors, hey what can I say I was I’ve had the entrepreneur blood in me since birth! So “business philosophies” have always been present in my head.

Funny to even admit that it relates to my dating life and yes people, I do relate all my business strategies to dating.

So recently I “met” someone, I use quotations because I really didn’t “meet” them, I have known them for many years, but nonetheless the meeting this time was significantly different.

If you have ever been in any type of “sales” business or career, you know this quote all too well “Ratios, Ratios, Ratios” meaning, in order to be successful you have to keep on doing the same activity over and over again until you “strike” and succeed at whatever it is you are doing.

And in sales and business development, the same is true that you are more likely to find success from a “repeat” client or pitching someone you have at one point already “pitched” than a business or person that is encountering you for the first time.

Well recently that has proven to be the case in my dating life. The last few years I have spent living in both the East and West coast and meeting tons of men. I’ve enjoyed the casual meet ups, the dinners, the parties, the spontaneous dates, the conversations, etc… everything that is involved in dating! Everyone that I have dated however has been “new clients” meaning new people that I did not know from before.

Most recently that changed and I was open to date an old friend of mine. It was not planned; it just kind of happened and what I learned from the experience drew me to share an often ignored venue that most of you singles who are out dating completely neglect…. The venue is………….. YOUR FRIENDS or FRIENDS of FRIENDS!!!

I know… I know what you might be thinking “The people who have seen me all crusty eyed from last years ski trip? The People who know all my dirty lil secrets? The ones who you may have had a burping contest with or scream at the top of your lunges with? Them? Date my friends??

Some of you may argue the fact that you “don’t want to mess up the friendship” and I agree with that too. There should be careful strategic actions that must be in place, but from my observations I can state that the positives most definitely out weigh the negatives and here are reasons why.

1. They Already Know You.

Your argument maybe that they know you too much, but bottom line is they know you so if there is interest you have to know it is genuine because they know your good, bad and quirky side! Surprises about each others personality is limited… well of course, there ARE something’s only you would disclose with someone you are intimate with… so let that be the surprises!

2. You Share A Lot In Common

Last year, you went skiing together, same concert, and possibly practiced the same sport. You get along for a reason. Commonality is a very important trait in a successful relationship. Maybe you and this person went thru similar life experiences. Faced similar ups and downs in life. Having shared experiences means endless conversational pieces. And think about it, if you are there friend there is obviously similar interest in mind.

3. Skip The Awkwardness Phase

Thank God! Avoid the “What is your favorite color? Or Food questions” Get right to the good stuff! You may experience a different type awkward feeling. Like the kind you get when you first hold this “friends” hand or share a first kiss. You’d ask yourself “How the hell did this happen??” But this feeling can be exciting, if our mentality is towards it is positive rather than negative.

4. There Is Trust

I can’t really explain this, but the fact this individual might have crashed over one night at your house or a summer at your parents place and they didn’t steal anything or make a cheap move on you… I think that’s fair to say there is trust! Or that they do know some of your “shameful” stories and they didn’t blast your gossip. You share a certain level of comfort with this person, feeling safe around them.

5. His/Her Friends Already Like You.

Vacations, weekends, parties, hangouts are just that much more comfortable…. Well at least a bit until your friends realize the two of you actually hooked up! Hahaha, but this helps stir up some interesting conversations. Sometimes meeting the person you are dating friends can be nerve racking so save yourself the trouble!

I also want to add and put out a disclaimer that as “lovey dovey” as this may seem or “innocent” like “ahhh date your friend” don’t get me wrong if there isn’t any sexual chemistry of lust it is not going to be fun or successful, sexual chemistry is a must!

The point of this post is sometimes what you’re looking for can be just under your nose. Just as you would do when working on growing any business or professional venture you have, sometimes the people, businesses and connections you have done prior business with or have establish a relationship with are the ones whom will come thru when it most matters.

Cheers! To extraordinary friendships and endless relationships.
Meet More People, Get Noticed On adrianagomez.com

by CasaDeWinn

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