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Motherhood, People Skills, Personal Growth

One Trait We All Need To Teach Our Children

One Trait we all need to teach our children is Confidence. As kids it is winning in the playground and havng friends at lunch. As adults it translates to career success and sex appeal. What Is It And How Can You Get Some?  My response is  CONFIDENCE

If there is one skill I intend to cultivate in my children it being confident. Confidence gets you friends, gains you experience, keeps you focused, goal oriented and more importantly teaches you to respect your self.

Growing up neither Mark nor I were the kids who grew up in rich neighborhoods or had cool cars or clothes, but one thing we both had was confidence. Mark says he didn’t become confident until college when he stopped being shy and started to hangout with better people. I would consider myself as confident from an early age. My parents “shoved” me into swim lessons at age 3, dance and other “performance” type of activities. I may have been to young to remember my first puplic performances, but I attribute those moments to the fact that by 6th grade in elementary school I was able to run for class president and do a speech in front of my entire school body….. Confidence.

Confidence gets your kids the ability to say “no I am cool, don’t need to smoke weed”

“Nah I am not drinking tonight because I am driving home”

As adults confidence plays a role in your professional career and love life.

Don’t we all know that not so good looking guy or girl but they always
seem to date good looking and great people?

Ever think “man she’s too pretty for him” or vice versa?

When I was asked this question I quickly placed myself back to that
moment when I knew I was attracted to my husband. I asked myself what made me feel
attraction to them. Or I ask myself Hummmmm what Do I like about them?
What turns me on about them? What makes me want to see or talk to them
again? It was this thing called “sex appeal”

See you can meet a great person, intelligent good conversationalists,
kind, loving, etc but that don’t mean you want to get with them. Something about them doesn’t quite move you like
that.

We can say they are somewhat confident but they don’t quite move you.
Lord knows I had met many men prior to Mark that were like this that leave me with the “eh”
feeling. I leave impressed about them, but that’s about it.

What was it about him or other people that just ooze sex appeal?

Again my only logical answer is their
confidence.

Confident people are not afraid to point out their faults. If they have
messed up hair or teeth or a weird laugh, they are likely to point it out. They also point out things others would let slide like when you’re talking and you know
your not fully listening they would be the ones to say ” hey let’s
talk some other time because I can tell your not listening to me and I
rather talk when you can listen”
They are also the people who despite not having a perfect six pack
although that is welcomed and are usually never slobs can be
comfortable in their own skin and perform as if they were GQ model or Women with sex appeal would feel like they are a 36-24-36!IMG_20130629_194126

What does Confidence look like?    Like this————->  

hahaha ok you know I am favoring someone! But serioulsy here are some things

* It Walks With Purpose – When you enter a room do you have a destination? Do you know where you are headed? Or do you lollygag your way around and pause and walk and then turn around to where you entered?

* It Stands Tall– How is your body posture? Are you the hunch back of Norte Dame? Are your shoulders back, chin up? How you stand projects how you feel.

* It SMILES- Genuine, cheesy show me your teeth smile!

* It Makes Eye Contact – Not the creepy weirdo kind, but an intense “ I acknowledge you” look. Nothing turns me on more than a mans ability to look me in the eyes when I am talking and when he is talking to me!

* Wears Fashionable Clothing that “FITS” well- Cowboy boots, flip flops, suits, workout clothes, dressed, etc. Whatever it is, it is worn well and FITS not only physically but it fits who they are and what they do. Worst is someone who is NOT a beachbum pretend to be one or a wanna be 20 something year old who is really 50.

I can comfortably say that when I first met Mark he had all of the above and still does! That is why I married him!  Developing confidence within yourself is also possible. Learn to accept who you are and what you like first and not try to make yourself be someone you think others want to see. Loving and accepting yourself are the first signs of developing confidence.

 

Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts

Why Men Who Work Hard Are Attractive To Women

Why Men Who Work Hard Are Attractive To Women. Who go to work. Who fix things and drill and kill bugs when we see them. It’s in our nature. I didn’t write the human code or our DNA or talk to Adam and Eve about their issues, I just know it’s a fact of life and it’s a fact of male and women tendencies.  I am so thankful that my husband is one of those men. I grew up around a laboror man.. my father is the hardest working man I know! This man cannot just sit around. He knows how to relax, but prefers to be doing something. He helps around the house without hesitation …always. Recently we had to have a tree removed from our yard… my dad and Mark came to the rescue. I tried telling them to just hire someone, but bought hesitated to accept and decided to just do it  themselves. 20150107_115427

Women are made to give. They are adaptable and they love to please others. Women are always asking “what can I do for my man?” Women are thinking about the little things to do for you. The little notes to plant in your pockets. The dinners and romantic evenings she planned for the two of you. Basically all the things you as a man probably overlook and never gave a shit about! Hahaha. Women need to feel safe and they love acknowledgement! The “thank you” the “that dinner was amazing!” Not to get too much into it, because this article is about how women love men who labor, but to narrow it down to two fundamental needs a women has is acknowledgement and the sense of feeling “safe”.

As a man, how do you make a woman feel safe? Is it that you parade around like a bodyguard when you’re out in public? NO! I mean don’t get me wrong no woman wants to date a pansy, someone who can’t stand up for themselves or someone that wouldn’t confront a rude man who is trying to cause problems.

What I’m talking about is this,
The most important “safety” a woman cares about and needs is that the man she is with will always assume the role of the “Hunter”. Back in the days it literally was that, the men hunted and they brought home the food and items that would be used for shelter and survival. Obviously the tables have turned and there is no need for you to walk in to your home grabbing the fish by its head, but the “hunter” in you must be present.

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By hunting I mean, going out there and working. Producing. Cultivating. Improving your and your future partners life. Women despite the change in roles we have seen in this last century with many women hitting the work place and many times earning more income than their mates, still the inner desire and need to feel “safe” stems back to the man assuming the role as a “provider”.
Don’t buy into the hoop-la of “Independent woman” stuff. See a woman WILL and CAN be independent, but even if she is and needs nothing from you economically, KNOWING that you can be the provider if needed is exactly what every woman wants to know.

So men, get off your ass and step up your game.

On this LABOR day ask yourself what are you “LABORing” on. How are you creating value for yourself? Are you acquiring a new skill? Are you planning for the future? Are you increasing your network? All these are things that increase your value.

If you’re a conservative reading this article, you may ask “well what happened to the more important things like trust, love and understanding?” I never said those were not important, but keep in mind a woman can have that and find that with her best friend or some family member. The workings of a great relationship between male and female long term must also fulfill the female needs and prove that the man she is with can and will “take care” of her.

Then there are the men who think women are “gold diggers!” that is an insecure man’s way of thinking. He is thinking “oh she is going to use me” and if your dumb and don’t stand for yourself then a woman with bad intentions would use you, and who’s fault is that? Yours! Not the girls. You as a man also set your parameters and remember that ultimately you can never buy love. You can buy purses and vacations and jewelry, but never lust or love. If you turn her on you turn her on because of your energy with her not what you buy her. What you buy will only at best provide decent sex and a complain to hang out with you until she finds someone better. If that’s all your looking for then go ahead keep it up. If not, you must not rely on your finances alone.
Let me finish by telling you this. Men are like Cars. All have an engine, 4 tires, doors and if it’s a working car it turns on and drives. A woman shops around first by her emotion, what looks and smells good to her. Basically what turns her on sexually. After that, to keep her you must show you can be reliable and go the distance. The less you show her this the less she wants to “ride”. Your sex life diminishes your intimacy level decrease and next thing you know she will start telling you its ladies night every weekend!

So on LABOR day and all others Go To Work and like my favorite comedian Russell Peters says “Be-A-Man” these fundamental instincts we have are exactly that, fundamental despite the changes in society and our times women and men will continue to have basic fundamental needs.

Love & Marriage

Love In All Forms

Love in all forms. Happy first week of February! The month best known for love being in the air with millions of people celebrating Valentine’s Day. While millions celebrate many more millions dread this day in fear of not having that special someone in their lives. To those people I say:WAKE UP! Love is NOT only about being in a relationship or constantly being in a state of wanting. It is about valuing and developing all relationships in your life. Friends, family, work relationships.

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I want to take this time to remind us all not to neglect all other relationships in our lives.

The relationship between you and your significant other. – How has that been? Have you been communicating well? Have you each taken the time to show eachother in your own way appreciation for eachother? Have you taken time to be alone and go on a date?

Your relationship with your children? or One with your parents? – How is that communication? Have you taken time to spend some quality time with them? Do you know what is new in their lives? Successes or struggles or goals?

Relationship with friends – Have you taken the time to check in with them? Sometimes a simple Instagram or Facebook stalking can help…. see what has been going on in their lives and comment on things if that is all the time you have! Picking up the phone of course is always preferred, but with busy lives I understand it makes it difficult to carve out sometime.

…and your pets! Don’t forget them! I swear they have better emotional instincts than we do! They know and feel your love and attention so if you have been busy show them some love and plan a dog park weekend!

Take some time this month to remember and acknowledge all “Loving” relationships in your life.

Health & Fitness

Healthy Holiday Eating

Healthy holiday eatings, is it possible? The holidays are a great time to reconnect with old friends, see family and meet new people! All three are excellent if you are single and dating. If Aunt Martha sees you again, maybe she can introduce you to her friends cute grandson…maybe your coworkers from the neighboring office catch you eye and you two connect over cocktails. They can be great, but can also be a huge trap for gaining weight and in dating looking and feeling your best are very crucial. You may think it is impossible not to gain weight during this time, but I am here to tell you that eating healthy this holiday season IS possible. Here are a few Health Tips to help you maintain your weight and Survive thru the Holidays….     

THIS is NOT a DIET

  • Small Adjustments make a HUGE Difference.
  • Correct Choices Vs. a Strict Diet.
  • Portion Control is the key.

 

Eating Out….

 

  • Ask server not to bring Rolls and Chips to your table
  • Choose dishes that comprise of Lean Meats, Fish and Vegtables. Avoid Rice and other starches
  • Opt for Sauce and salad dressing on the side.
  • Share a dish with someone or ask for a take out box right away and save half for next days lunch.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for substitutions: Baked potato instead of fries, steamed vegetable instead of rice.
  • Avoid “Empty” Calories. cheese, sour cream, butter, and mayonnaise…add hot sauce and mustard to add flavor but not calories.

 

While at Work…..

  • Always have a water available at your desk.
  • Avoid mindless eating by having healthy snacks on hand like fruit or pretzles.
  • Pack your own lunch. This saves you belly rolls and money!

 

Company Holiday Party…. Open Bar…

  • Those “FREE” margaritas are going to cost you…. big time!
  • Opt for a glass of Red or White wine
  • Drink Light Beer…
  • Like mixed drinks?  DIET soda or club soda mixed drinks, avoid fruit juice based drinks.
  • Bloody Mary… tomato juice is a great antioxidant and the Tabasco sauce kicks up your metabolism.

Families Feast….

  • You don’t want to make aunt Cindy feel bad for not eating her food….so..
  • Fill your plate with WHITE meat, avoid Dark meat and vegetables & add a little scoop of mashed potato.
  • Or Get a smaller plate
  • Eat Pumpkin pie Vs. Pecan or Candied yams.
  • Lastly… just remember its only ONE Day.. so don’t beat yourself up and enjoy!

 

 

Busy Schedule…” I forgot to eat”

  • Never Skip Breakfast… take 3mins to make oatmeal, a fruit smoothie or eat a breakfast bar.
  • Always carry healthy snacks with you like: Fruits, Almonds, baby carrots.

Pre-plan your meals… have an idea of what your going to eat.

 

 

My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth, Relationships

Women and Relationships

As a Woman myself, you may be surprised I am putting women on blast, but I will and I do because I don’t believe in fluffy dating and relationship advice. So here are some facts about selfish women dating and in relationships. Yup Women and Relationships.

Many times in dating or relationships the man gets the short end of the stick. He is usually the first for people to assume the relationship went bad or who “broke” the girls heart. What I have come to find is many women cause the heartbreak; drama themselves! Then they get dumped or wonder why the guy they are with doesn’t want to make love with them anymore, cheats on them (no excuses for this one, men need to grow some huevos and breakup), and get dumped! But again, it is this selfish type woman who brings this all to her.

According to Askmen.com that a selfish woman has the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Requires excessive admiration.
4. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends) and lacks empathy.
5. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

I have had my fair share of encounters with women like those described above and have seen the interaction with their significant other or current boyfriend and I always wonder not only why is this guy putting up with her and also how does she manage to have 1 friend??

If you need more visualization, here are some clear examples when girl selfishness occurs:

1. The guy  is late for 5 minutes, for a woman it is like world war 3 is about to come.  When the guy showed up, whatever explanation that comes out from his mouth would never reach to her ears.

2. When the guy received a friendly message from a woman. His Girlfriend would then erupted with so many queries about cheating and blah blah and blah blah, not knowing that the woman is his sister.

3. When you two are together in a certain place and then some crazy things happen, somewhat like she forgot to bring her umbrella, make-up kit etc… She would say ,”IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Sound familiar?? Look, I do agree sometimes the guy DID forget to bring your make-up….. or in my case… I DID forget to bring my boyfriends suit for a wedding…. but he didn’t flip out! Why do we women have to flip out??

These are the kind of chicks I agree and you can say “B**** you crazy!” Good men stuck in relationships with these type of women… it happens. So men dating does not mean settling or having to put up with this behavior. And for my lady friends if you find yourself being guilty of any of the above I welcome you to inspect your life a little further and count how many friends you have, how many people actually like you and wonder if your boyfriend is only with you for now until he finds someone better…

For some coaching and how to become more well liked check out my dating services.

Know some crazy B*****s?? Share with me what you have noticed or witnessed.
 

Add a Comment Below and Share With Me If You Have Other Suggestions

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People Skills

5 Big Butt Etiquette Rules For Women

Have a KaDunkADunk? No problem! Here are 5 big butt etiquette rules to follow. Learn to love your big ol’butt. In many countries and cultures it is a blessing, so learn to appreciate it. However having a big butt does have its issues so read on to learn the 5 big butt etiquette rules to follow.  
5.) Avoid White Or Grey Leggings/Spandex
Take note, leggings mark dangerous turf and grey and white are natural expanders and you don’t know how many times I have seen women with these things plastered on like they were painted on.This then exposes all the cottage cheese associated with the big butt and well ladies not a nice thing to see or to show to a man. Also, shirts that fall below the crotch are necessary with leggings too -TRUST.  Depending on your tolerance for public panting or display of your big booty, you may want to consider a cease and desist.

4.) Play It Cool During Big Butt Anthems
This is a hard one, I know. Now I would never recommend anyone deprive themselves the great satisfaction of delivering a proper  stanky leg rendition. However, I would advise  practicing personal reservation during a$$ anthem music. Not as a public safety measure nor as a preventative measure to deactivate ignorance (afterall, a$$ anthems summon it) but just because its horribly cliche.  Don’t be the first, second, or third chick to take it low and sweep the floor. I say, be the fifth… Yea fifth is good.

3.) Low-Cut Jeans Are Not Your Friends
I got to be real, crack IS whack! You may not like this rule especially since so many of the latest trends involve the low cut skinny jeans,but you gotta deal with it chick, you can’t participate in this fashion trend. Simply because no matter what notch you fasten that belt to, your booty crack will be exposed1 Go for high-waisters, they flesh out your shape and are much more flattering.

2.) Mini Skirts and Shorts

It may be hot and they may look good on others, but if you have a big butt it is just to risky to expose the very likely cottage cheese sections of your butt and thighs. Opt for longer skirts or if you decide to wear a mini, make sure it is only in the fall when you can wear some nice opaque tights to hold it all in.

1.) Save the Best for Last
True story. If you do it from the back as kickoff, you might not make it to the end of the show. He will enjoy it so much it will make you wonder when it will end and when he can get back to pleasing you…but sadly it never happens. So save the best for last and make him work for it!

Big butt or small butt we all as ladies share many things in common despite how we were shaped in the world of dating and not only do I know this, but I also understand the physiology behind every woman, I know What Every Man Wants.

I was single for many years, but never alone. I always managed to have a date and being able to get one seemed to come easy, but it wasn’t always like that. I have spent many years learning from experts and thru trial and error of my own dating life learning and discovering the things all men love in women. I have now mastered the art of conversation and how to date more great men and for the men I know what women like. SO if you haven’t connected with me already go ahead and subscribe to my newsletter at www.adrianagomez.com. Look forward to connecting with you!

 

 

Love & Marriage, My Thoughts, People Skills

How To Get Out Of A Bad Date

How To Get Out Of A Bad Date

 

 

Been on a bad date? If you have been dating, I am sure you have! In this video I show you how to get out of a bad date. So next time you do not have to waste your time with a dochebag!  Watch the video to learn exactly what you need to do so you know how to get out of a bad date. For better dates keep reading my blog for dating tips and advice so you can avoid the bad ones! Enjoy!

 

Been on a bad date? Share with me how you got out of it. Comment BELOW. If you liked this video share it with a friend and show me some love with a LIKE!

My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth

Why People Block You On Facebook

If Facebook is supposed to connect you, why do people get on it and then block you? In a time where technology has grown to be such a large part of our lives and well when it comes to dating, it has been a huge resource to engage and contact millions. So why do people have these accounts to make their lives public and easily accessible to people, only to block others? Why People Block You on Facebook?

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Well one obvious reason is that you are creepy maybe a registered sex offender, you are harassing them, or you are just annoying. In which I agree and ALSO would and have block several people.

Now what is the explanation for the other blocking??

Well I have my fair share of both blocking people and being blocked and this is what I have narrowed it down too:

1. You Know Wayyyyy Too Much Crap About Them

Oh let me tell you, if something makes someone hide more it is them finding out that “You Know” That you know the truth. The truth about them, their past, there dirty little secrets and unethical ways…  I just wish that the same people who “hide” or “block” you would realize that their little lives revolve around hanging around the same people, same places and same little town. Guess what? The world is small and the truth always, always comes out.

 

2. Being The “Ex- Girlfriend/Boyfriend”

Unless you are stuck in middle school, we all have had and been in a relationship. For the people out there who think the first guy you date is the one you marry I have news for you: It isn’t always like that. If it is good for you. If not guess what?? You will be at one point or another the “EX” and have “exes”.   If you fall in the “Crazy ex category” then you deserve to be blocked and I would block you too! I would give you the “Outta my life button!”  And if you have been this crazy ex bf/gf realize your  ex doesn’t want to hear from you or have you constantly still nagging them…isnt that why he left you?? And then there is the time when the “EX” blocks you the new guy/girl. I can understand this especially when the new guy/girl witnessed some of the crazy ex pyscho activity… So to all the girls who have been dumped, don’t be the crazy pyscho girl then you will never have to block the people who witnessed your outbreak. I know its embarrassing to know that person witness your hoopla so just don’t do it anymore.

3. You Are Annoying

I admit I may be on peoples Block list for this… I write a lot about dating, relationships umm possibly some things that may offend people. It is ok I deal with it. So yeah, if you talk a lot about things people just have NO interest in such as ummm you constantly posting about:

– Your relationship and how much it sucks…

– How sooooo many guys/girls gawk at you and your just Gods Gift to women/men… (why are you still single then??)

– How terrible your life is…

– How fairytale of a life you have…

– How everyone should buy your MLM product…

This my friends causes you to be blocked….. again I admit for the non dating, relationship having or wanting folks, I’m just not that interesting and can be annoying. 🙂 It is ok, I still love ya!

Lastly, you block someone because you just don’t like them and want nothing to do with them. To you, they don’t exist. Sounds harsh, but its the truth and sometimes in life you have to learn how to make those type of decisions to “cut the fat” out of your life and keep only the meaningful relationships. God knows I have done a lot of bothering of bad relationships out of my life recently and you know what… it feels sooooo good! I invite you to get weak, negative, drag-ya-down-do-nothing-positive-to-your-life relationships out of your life. 

Learn to attract then build great relationships you may need a little help. Check out some of the services I offer (see you may block me after this one) check it out here http://adrianagomez.com/dating-coach-services/

Lets Connect http://facebook.com/msadrianagomez

 

Love & Marriage

How Hobbies Help Your Relationship

How Can Hobbies Help? Can they help you personally? At work? In a relationship? I think all of the above. Here I discuss how hobbies can really help you have a successful and happy relationship. Wether it is cooking, a sport, pastime, something anything can really help keep you and your significant other keep that relationship love steaming.

When my fiance wanted to get a dog, I supported the idea. I had not had a dog since I was a little kid and even then I was not the one taking care of it, so I really did not know what to expect. Well let me tell ya, I love that dog! And we even got a second dog! I am sharing this story because our dogs have become in a way a hobby or a pastime for us. We enjoy doing activities for our pups together. Many times we may think hobbies mean spending money, but that does not have to be the case. Meet Buzz and Bella… our awesome Boston Terriers!

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One great thing we enjoy doing together and it has become another hobby of ours is cooking. What better thing than to prepare a meal together to then be able to enjoy it together. I am not a natural at cooking. I admit being pretty terrible. The last couple of months of cooking together has really made me a better cook and has opened me up to a new hobby.

 

We LOVE riding bikes, snowboarding, adventure stuff of all types together too!

 

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What if you do not live together? Not a problem! None of what I have mentioned needs to be done with someone you live. If you only see each other on weekends that is great and very doable.
So stop making excuses ad find something you both enjoy and make a point to do it together and become better at it.