Browsing Tag

people

Entrepreneur's Corner, People Skills, Personal Growth

How To Get What You Want

How to get what you want by suggesting things rather than by asking.

I was the baby in the family, so I had “baby” protection What does that mean? That everything you do is “ok” and you never get in trouble and more importantly …. I always got my way. Call it spoiled or whatever you want, but that’s just how it was and that type of childhood instilled in me a “Get what I want” attitude. Throughout my teenage years, college, entering good old corporate American and in pursuit of my own business that attitude remained, but it evolved from a snobby stubborn kid to a strategic and highly confident woman.
The “Get my way attitude” was applied on in many areas. I got accepted into my top choice university, always got the jobs I wanted, traveled where I wanted, dated the guys I wanted and well developed and founded the business projects I wanted… and still want.

This attitude though can be applied to things you want to accomplish, but what I am going to talk about here is how you apply it with dealing with those fun lil creatures who have major emotions and attitudes called… PEOPLE. How To Get What You Want

One way I learned was thru watching others who always seem to get what they wanted from people and also paid attention to how people I interacted with got me to do what they wanted! I was always floored by how some of my mentors always were able to get “yeses” or better yet just maneuver people to act and do what exactly what they wanted them to do.
I learned this skill in my businesses and in my dating life. I know it’s a funny comparison to say dating and my business taught me this, but the truth is it did.
You see, growing up with an ultra hard working-respect-my-mom-type of dad and an older brother who couldn’t be more disciplined and manly I looked for those traits in men. And in my dating extravaganza I met many more who were not vs. the ones who had a little more confidence and self assurance.
I paid attention to what I liked about certain men. What turned me on and what turned me off. Now I must admit many men were good on “paper” like all the facts about them were “perfect” almost like a baseball card! All their stats were great, but when it came up to bat they… Struck Out!
One of the most captivating actions a man could do and did to capture my attention was this method and skill I want to share with you. The interesting thing is that not only was it something I realized myself and many other women loved in a man, but it also helped me when I was a newbie sales person and entrepreneur.
Now let me share with you what I mean and h

ow this concept will not only completely change the amount of successful approaches you have with single women or even men ladies, but also can alter your status and your ability to add more value to yourself in this ever growing, changing and highly competitive market.
When I speak about successful approaches I am referring to all those attempts you have made at a bar, park, gym or grocery store picking up women that embarrassingly fail! You fail so bad you resort to lil penis syndrome where you are just scared to ever approach a woman. I don’t blame you, if I had that many rejecting experiences maybe I would be hesitant too. The great thing is it does not have to be that way.
It doesn’t have to be that way for your business either. If you own a business that relies on acquiring new clients, this concept I guarantee you will also revolutionize your success in your business.
Am I over confident?
Too good to be true?

Well all I have to say is this:
Adopt my “If it don’t kill ya, try it philosophy”.

And if it helps any, I’d like to share with you that almost 99% of the time if a man was clever and smart enough to try this he always got a yes from me in accepting a date.

And for my “Get R Done” entrepreneurs out there this concept almost always guaranteed a lead, referral, new client or opportunity to present my services.

Here it is….
Women do NOT like to be asked, instead they like to be influenced into a decision.

Now you can replace the word “women” to business owners, home buyers, people, patients, clients, etc. Basically whomever you are dealing with in a transaction.
Transaction of pleasure, dating, learning, selling… any exchange between one person and another.

Ok so in dating since we are all familiar with this here is an often too familiar scene of what I mean by the asking approach, failing.
It sounds like this:
“So hey umm do you maybe want to grab a bite to eat Thursday night? I know you work, but I was thinking we maybe if your not to tired we can meet up after work, do you want to meet up?
FAIL!!

That’s very courteous of you to ask kindly, but you know what, it does not cut it!
Women do not respond to questions. People in general do not respond to questions. We do not know how to or what to answer.
We live in a society that from birth practically have things around us controlling are every thought. TV, video games, etc. and you expect for these people to make decisions for themselves?
It ain’t happening!
In seduction every women no matter how conservative or how big of a woman’s right advocate she is Looovvvessss to sometimes be tossed around and controlled and nudged into a decision she wants to make, but hates to admit it.

So to learn how to “nudge” people into an action try this:
Ok so now let us see how this influencing and nudging approach works for your business. When approaching a new client or looking to increase your business influence their decision by approaching them like this:

Hello Mr. Prospect. I would love to come over to share with you briefly ways where you can be more efficient, make more money, be better presented out there in the the marketplace. When would you have time for me to come by? Right now, I’m available Monday 3:00 Or Wednesday at 3:00.

Basically the key when approaching someone in a business setting is to figure out when they are free or have a little time for you without giving them the entire week or month as an option. I have learned that the less options you give people the more you get from them.

Have you ever asked someone “Are you free this week?” The normal response is “Oh I’m super busy, I am not sure” But if you ask “Hey are you free Tuesday evening or Friday evening?” They can usually tell you exactly if they are free or not and even give you specific times.
It’s funny but when people are given less to choose from or no choices at all…. They tend to go with what you present to them.

I hope that the examples I shared above help bring some insight or illustrate to you what this concept of getting your way by suggesting things rather than by asking.

Love & Marriage, Relationships

Words Of Appreciation

We all know that there are words of appreciation, but are there certain actions to show appreciation?
I_Love_You_Note_Appreciation-300x225

If I could single handedly blame one reason why relationships that at one point were great, completely turn negative it would be exactly this, a loss of appreciation from both parties.

I have witnessed many relationships both intimate, friendships and business relationships go completely sour when one party fails to maintain respect and appreciation for the other. I remember learning a few years back “people do not have to do things for you”. Here is one example we can all relate to; a birthday party. No one has to go. So why throw one and why attend? People go because they choose to. Why? You appreciate that person and want to make sure you show them. Well on the flip side, if you choose not to attend and you make this a habit of never attending your friends parties or things that they throw then soon enough you will find yourself alone because people will have seen that you really do not care to make time for them and neither will they.

In my relationship, I always make a conscious effort to thank my fiance verbally when he does things for me and I also make an effort to show him through actions I appreciate him. So what can you do today, to show the person you are with that you love them and appreciate them? Here are a few of the things I like to do and that he does to make me feel like a queen!

Cuddle Time
There isn’t anything I enjoy more it is the cuddle time I get to spend and get from my fiance. Regardless of how busy or stressful your day may have been, cuddling is like asprin, it can cure everything! Make time to enjoy each other.

Cook For Them
So maybe you are not the best cook! Who cares! Nothing shows I care more than preparing something for your loved one. It can be a smoothie for gosh sakes! Throw a bunch of fruit, juice and ice and blend that baby! Or simply pouring a glass of wine. Preparing something and “serving” your other half sends major “I care about you” signals.

Your Partner Is NOT A Mind Reader

This may be the hardest for people to achieve because most people were raised not to be expressive and openly share their thoughts and feelings. I come from a very touchy feely family and my personality is very expressive, so I admit it is the hardest for me to see why people cannot be expressive. Nonetheless, your partner needs to know and be reminded that you like, love, care or think about them. Whether you say it verbally or write it in a note, just do it and genuinely mean it. I tell my partner almost every morning when I wake up and my head is laying on his shoulder that I love him. Often times I find myself receiving a peck on the forehead and him saying the same to me…. I tell you that makes me melt!! Men, forehead kisses is where it is at!

Friendships are simple. Business partnerships are simple. Love is a simple thing too. If you appreciate what is in your life and what people do for you, you will always find yourself surrounded by people who show you the same.
What are some things you, your significant other or a friend does to you that shows you appreciation? Please share with us!

Love & Marriage, My Thoughts, Relationships

The 5 Love Languages

If you have ever wondered why your girlfriend never seems to be content or happy when you by her gifts? Or maybe that he never seems to care that you do errands around the house? We all have our own little way of showing how we love others and how we like to be loved. If you believe that we are all created equal and can be treated the exact same way then you must also believe in the tooth fairy and should not ignore this post. Several years ago I came across this book and I learned about this theory of the The 5 love languages it really changed my life and I give it credit for helping me create and maintain a loving, respectful & abundant relationship with my fiance, but I would be naive to think what to me feels like a fairytale relationship, would stay this way on it’s own without some bumps in the road. So the 5 love languages are an important to understand. Here is a quick video to help you visually see and understand the 5 love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch.

Relationships and people are ever growing beings! We are like plants. We will have our times of full bloom and our times when our flowers die and a time when the soil we are planted in needs time to replenish its nutrients in the soil…to bloom again. During this metamorphosis, we as the girlfriends, wives, husbands, etc . of someone can be ugly, irrational, unappreciative people. So are ALL relationships that go through these withering times bound to fail? How then do you explain those that rebound from these times and grow stronger together?
In my opinion bad relationships boil down to two people not chemically connected (which means they wouldn’t be dating too long) and for those in a long relationship turning sour it is most likely two people speaking the incorrect love language to one another and a lot of misunderstanding. If you have ever felt unappreciative, not loved, respected and not wanted it may not always be that your partner really doesn’t love you he or she is simply speaking to you in the wrong love language.

I cannot stress to you enough if you are in a relationship to familarize yourself with this theory and understand the 5 languages of love. So what is your love language? Stop hesitating and click here to take the test and learn more!http://www.5lovelanguages.com

Share with us what Love Language you are! Leave me a comment below or connect with me on FACEBOOK