In dating, sometimes what you are looking for can be right under your nose. In this post I expose the often ignored dating market that if considered can turn up surprising results. Dating your friend is one of the best things that can happen to you.
As many of you know I have been intrigued by business and capitalism since a young age. I began my first business venture at about the age of 7 when my older brother and I used to go around our neighborhood selling strawberries and tomatoes to all our neighbors, hey what can I say I was I’ve had the entrepreneur blood in me since birth! So “business philosophies” have always been present in my head.
Funny to even admit that it relates to my dating life and yes people, I do relate all my business strategies to dating.
So recently I “met” someone, I use quotations because I really didn’t “meet” them, I have known them for many years, but nonetheless the meeting this time was significantly different.
If you have ever been in any type of “sales” business or career, you know this quote all too well “Ratios, Ratios, Ratios” meaning, in order to be successful you have to keep on doing the same activity over and over again until you “strike” and succeed at whatever it is you are doing.
And in sales and business development, the same is true that you are more likely to find success from a “repeat” client or pitching someone you have at one point already “pitched” than a business or person that is encountering you for the first time.
Well recently that has proven to be the case in my dating life. The last few years I have spent living in both the East and West coast and meeting tons of men. I’ve enjoyed the casual meet ups, the dinners, the parties, the spontaneous dates, the conversations, etc… everything that is involved in dating! Everyone that I have dated however has been “new clients” meaning new people that I did not know from before.
Most recently that changed and I was open to date an old friend of mine. It was not planned; it just kind of happened and what I learned from the experience drew me to share an often ignored venue that most of you singles who are out dating completely neglect…. The venue is………….. YOUR FRIENDS or FRIENDS of FRIENDS!!!
I know… I know what you might be thinking “The people who have seen me all crusty eyed from last years ski trip? The People who know all my dirty lil secrets? The ones who you may have had a burping contest with or scream at the top of your lunges with? Them? Date my friends??
Some of you may argue the fact that you “don’t want to mess up the friendship” and I agree with that too. There should be careful strategic actions that must be in place, but from my observations I can state that the positives most definitely out weigh the negatives and here are reasons why.
1. They Already Know You.
Your argument maybe that they know you too much, but bottom line is they know you so if there is interest you have to know it is genuine because they know your good, bad and quirky side! Surprises about each others personality is limited… well of course, there ARE something’s only you would disclose with someone you are intimate with… so let that be the surprises!
2. You Share A Lot In Common
Last year, you went skiing together, same concert, and possibly practiced the same sport. You get along for a reason. Commonality is a very important trait in a successful relationship. Maybe you and this person went thru similar life experiences. Faced similar ups and downs in life. Having shared experiences means endless conversational pieces. And think about it, if you are there friend there is obviously similar interest in mind.
3. Skip The Awkwardness Phase
Thank God! Avoid the “What is your favorite color? Or Food questions” Get right to the good stuff! You may experience a different type awkward feeling. Like the kind you get when you first hold this “friends” hand or share a first kiss. You’d ask yourself “How the hell did this happen??” But this feeling can be exciting, if our mentality is towards it is positive rather than negative.
4. There Is Trust
I can’t really explain this, but the fact this individual might have crashed over one night at your house or a summer at your parents place and they didn’t steal anything or make a cheap move on you… I think that’s fair to say there is trust! Or that they do know some of your “shameful” stories and they didn’t blast your gossip. You share a certain level of comfort with this person, feeling safe around them.
5. His/Her Friends Already Like You.
Vacations, weekends, parties, hangouts are just that much more comfortable…. Well at least a bit until your friends realize the two of you actually hooked up! Hahaha, but this helps stir up some interesting conversations. Sometimes meeting the person you are dating friends can be nerve racking so save yourself the trouble!
I also want to add and put out a disclaimer that as “lovey dovey” as this may seem or “innocent” like “ahhh date your friend” don’t get me wrong if there isn’t any sexual chemistry of lust it is not going to be fun or successful, sexual chemistry is a must!
The point of this post is sometimes what you’re looking for can be just under your nose. Just as you would do when working on growing any business or professional venture you have, sometimes the people, businesses and connections you have done prior business with or have establish a relationship with are the ones whom will come thru when it most matters.
Cheers! To extraordinary friendships and endless relationships.
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