You all know I enjoy talking about love, relationships, business and traveling, but I will share with you one of my SMH moments when I see people do this.When I see this major dating mistake I think “what a tragedy” You see to me dating is about meeting people, getting to know them… possibly over something called “A date”, testing them out by spending time with them to see if there is any chemistry and commonality.
Too often I witness major dating mistakes men and women make. What is it? NOT dating enough! It is settling for the first thing with eyes and a “P”. I call this the “One and Done”
The “one and doners” are the type of folks who do not even venture to date. They miss the whole concept of what dating is. They find that one guy or girl who is “just ok” and stop looking and then what is worse…they commit a major love disaster they make themselves exclusive to them killing all chances of them ever meeting someone else and also forcing their friends to have to deal with the mediocre dude or chic. The one and done daters will say things like ” oh this person doesn’t bother me and hasn’t done anything to me so I’m staying with them…” Know anyone like that?
But why?
I have concluded 2 reasons:
1. They are too lazy to look for someone else
2. They are afraid they won’t find someone who is “as good” or “better”
I can not tell you enough not to ignore your dating and love life and guess what people… Time DOES Matter! I have seen good people stuck in bad relationships with bad people or end up single and longing for someone. There is nothing wrong with being single if you actually WANT to be, but being horny, negative and longing to be with someone is a no-no.
Yep it happens. Usually the symptoms are it wasn’t “that bad” in the beginning, but guess what it can get real bad and you get stuck in an intertwined relationship where it can feel like there is no escape.
I have said it before and will say it again: It is better to be alone than stuck in a relationship with a bad person.
Signs You Are Dating The Wrong Person:
1. Your Relationship Lacks Intimacy – This doesn’t always only mean sex although that would be #2, it means do the two of you spend time cuddling? Can you sit next to each other and have an intimate conversation?
2. Lack Of Sex – Yup enough said. I used to think it may be something like some people just don’t have sex drive while others don’t. But now I am convinced when you are totally into that person… you just want it all the time!
3. Texting- If you and your “honey” text more than talk… you got issues. If this is a familiar site: You sit together and he/she is texting and you are just “there”.
4. Your Friends Do Not Like Them – One thing I have always respected in my close friends opinions. Sometimes when we are “in love” it is hard to see the other side. It is always easier to look in than it is to see out. If you respect your friends opinions there is a reason they do not like the person you are with. And wouldn’t you want them to like him or her? To me, it is very important that whom I date is well liked.
There comes a moment in your “relationship” with this person who is just ok because your the “1 and done type of person” where you have to ask yourself this:
“Am I completely done looking and not interested in ever getting to know or meet another man or woman?”
If a good friend or family member of yours were to one day offer to set you up with someone they think would be good for you would you turn them down and say “nope, good I’m in love with the current person I’m with”??
If the answer is YES, then congratulations somehow you manage to be forced under a spell by this lame person.
If the answer is NO, then don’t drag on your 1 and done mediocre relationship.
Get a moving soon and start doing little things that will let your friends and family know your are open to meet more people and go out there yourself and say hello to the world!
Stop thinking in scarcity
Think abundance! There are plenty of amazing people to share your life with!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?