Dating is like a job interview and we all have had one. A few years back a cousin of mine went thru this time period where she was dating a lot and God bless her for it! The girl was smart about it and met a lot of guys and well did what I think many people do not do: Date.
Dating to me is an interview process.
If you’ve ever worked for a large company you know that they don’t jump into bed with you after the first interview. If your only taste of the workforce is dead-end low paying jobs then yes I stand corrected they DO jump right in and hire you before testing you out, but again a legitimate company with a name to uphold, millions of dollars at stake and who produce great results or amazing products, those companies do not just jump right in and hire someone. They treat the culture of the company and employees as something sacred.
So for those of you who are trust fund babies, born entrepreneurs from age 10 and or never stepped it up to go after a job with a large company then let me share with you how the process works.
You have to have a stellar resume to land your first interview and if your first interview goes well, then they schedule a 2nd , 3rd and possibly 4th interview for the exact same job position.
At each stage of the interview process they introduce you to new people usually management and if that management likes you then they introduce you to the next.
It all happens as a process and little by little. Now people keep in mind this is for a job! Now in dating which to me is and should be treated like an interview process, what happens to us about that something so sacred and special called your family and friends? Why is it that so many of us who start dating fail to be as selective with who we date and who we introduce our friends and family to that we just bored around and allow some chic or dude your dating distort the harmony in your friends and family??
Companies take interviewing and adding someone new to their “family” seriously because they know how important it is to hire someone of value. Someone who will add great chemistry to the existing group and not be the cancer.
If companies are so protective of their culture why aren’t you with your culture of friends and family?
To me the guy I was going to be known to be “dating” was superrrrrr important that the following things happen:
1. I Have To Like Him and Be Totally Into Him—-> HE, has to like me and be totally into me!
2. My Family Has To Approve and Like Him—-> HE BETTER like my family & be on his best d*mn behavior
3. My Friends Have To Like and Get Along With Him—-> HE BETTER like my friends and respect them.
4. We have to have similar spiritual beliefs, morals, etc all that other stuff that is important in a relationship!
If those 4 things are good, then to me it is like “hiring” time which I then proceed to turn it into an exclusive relationship. I would suggest that your introduce the potential “BF/GF” little by little and I usually recommend them meeting your family last.
A huge dating FAIL is when people just override and skip what I consider the 4 essentials and just date someone who:
1. ISN’T Totally Into You —-> They can’t shut up about how OTHER guys/girls are hotter than you
2. Your Family Is Indifferent or Doesn’t Like Them—> Some people are not close to their family, i could see why this wouldn’t matter to them
3. The person you are dating DOES NOT like your friends and your friends DO NOT get along with them—-> I believe good friends want the best for you so if they openly tell you they don’t like the person you are dating there is a major reason why. I don’t think friends sit around and hope for their friends never to date.
4. Bad Chemistry… enough said.
Why is it that some people fail to realize that when you make someone exclusive and date them… They end up having to date your friends & family too!
If the culture of your friends has been spring break trips, weekly dinners and get-togethers with no drama, no awkwardness why the F would you not protect it or give a small shit about maybe considering how your BF/GF effects it??
There is truth in numbers. If 1-2 people don’t like who you have forced upon them to like then hey maybe those people are picky and illogical and not giving your bf/gf a chance. However, of this extends beyond that then why are you forcing upon what at one time was sacred someone who clearly is a cancer in your family and
It is sad to see when men really do chose “Hoes before bros” or women we can be just as guilty of being exclusive with someone who doesn’t add value to you and who doesn’t mesh with your friends.
Now the question is: Is the issue your friends or the person you are dating?
My fondest wish for you is to remember that when you date it’s an interview. You don’t have to introduce the chick or guy you just me to your family of friends right away in fact I’ve gone on several dates with tons of guys that never ever met any of my friends. They just didn’t cut it, I knew I didn’t want to be serious with them so I just didn’t bother bringing them around my friends or family. These guys were good enough for me to spend some time with, hang out with and entertain myself, but not good enough to make it to round two “interviews”.
Interview process is fun! Enjoy it and make sure you “hire” the right one! 🙂