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Motherhood, People Skills, Personal Growth

One Trait We All Need To Teach Our Children

One Trait we all need to teach our children is Confidence. As kids it is winning in the playground and havng friends at lunch. As adults it translates to career success and sex appeal. What Is It And How Can You Get Some?  My response is  CONFIDENCE

If there is one skill I intend to cultivate in my children it being confident. Confidence gets you friends, gains you experience, keeps you focused, goal oriented and more importantly teaches you to respect your self.

Growing up neither Mark nor I were the kids who grew up in rich neighborhoods or had cool cars or clothes, but one thing we both had was confidence. Mark says he didn’t become confident until college when he stopped being shy and started to hangout with better people. I would consider myself as confident from an early age. My parents “shoved” me into swim lessons at age 3, dance and other “performance” type of activities. I may have been to young to remember my first puplic performances, but I attribute those moments to the fact that by 6th grade in elementary school I was able to run for class president and do a speech in front of my entire school body….. Confidence.

Confidence gets your kids the ability to say “no I am cool, don’t need to smoke weed”

“Nah I am not drinking tonight because I am driving home”

As adults confidence plays a role in your professional career and love life.

Don’t we all know that not so good looking guy or girl but they always
seem to date good looking and great people?

Ever think “man she’s too pretty for him” or vice versa?

When I was asked this question I quickly placed myself back to that
moment when I knew I was attracted to my husband. I asked myself what made me feel
attraction to them. Or I ask myself Hummmmm what Do I like about them?
What turns me on about them? What makes me want to see or talk to them
again? It was this thing called “sex appeal”

See you can meet a great person, intelligent good conversationalists,
kind, loving, etc but that don’t mean you want to get with them. Something about them doesn’t quite move you like
that.

We can say they are somewhat confident but they don’t quite move you.
Lord knows I had met many men prior to Mark that were like this that leave me with the “eh”
feeling. I leave impressed about them, but that’s about it.

What was it about him or other people that just ooze sex appeal?

Again my only logical answer is their
confidence.

Confident people are not afraid to point out their faults. If they have
messed up hair or teeth or a weird laugh, they are likely to point it out. They also point out things others would let slide like when you’re talking and you know
your not fully listening they would be the ones to say ” hey let’s
talk some other time because I can tell your not listening to me and I
rather talk when you can listen”
They are also the people who despite not having a perfect six pack
although that is welcomed and are usually never slobs can be
comfortable in their own skin and perform as if they were GQ model or Women with sex appeal would feel like they are a 36-24-36!IMG_20130629_194126

What does Confidence look like?    Like this————->  

hahaha ok you know I am favoring someone! But serioulsy here are some things

* It Walks With Purpose – When you enter a room do you have a destination? Do you know where you are headed? Or do you lollygag your way around and pause and walk and then turn around to where you entered?

* It Stands Tall– How is your body posture? Are you the hunch back of Norte Dame? Are your shoulders back, chin up? How you stand projects how you feel.

* It SMILES- Genuine, cheesy show me your teeth smile!

* It Makes Eye Contact – Not the creepy weirdo kind, but an intense “ I acknowledge you” look. Nothing turns me on more than a mans ability to look me in the eyes when I am talking and when he is talking to me!

* Wears Fashionable Clothing that “FITS” well- Cowboy boots, flip flops, suits, workout clothes, dressed, etc. Whatever it is, it is worn well and FITS not only physically but it fits who they are and what they do. Worst is someone who is NOT a beachbum pretend to be one or a wanna be 20 something year old who is really 50.

I can comfortably say that when I first met Mark he had all of the above and still does! That is why I married him!  Developing confidence within yourself is also possible. Learn to accept who you are and what you like first and not try to make yourself be someone you think others want to see. Loving and accepting yourself are the first signs of developing confidence.

 

Entrepreneur's Corner, My Thoughts

Why Men Who Work Hard Are Attractive To Women

Why Men Who Work Hard Are Attractive To Women. Who go to work. Who fix things and drill and kill bugs when we see them. It’s in our nature. I didn’t write the human code or our DNA or talk to Adam and Eve about their issues, I just know it’s a fact of life and it’s a fact of male and women tendencies.  I am so thankful that my husband is one of those men. I grew up around a laboror man.. my father is the hardest working man I know! This man cannot just sit around. He knows how to relax, but prefers to be doing something. He helps around the house without hesitation …always. Recently we had to have a tree removed from our yard… my dad and Mark came to the rescue. I tried telling them to just hire someone, but bought hesitated to accept and decided to just do it  themselves. 20150107_115427

Women are made to give. They are adaptable and they love to please others. Women are always asking “what can I do for my man?” Women are thinking about the little things to do for you. The little notes to plant in your pockets. The dinners and romantic evenings she planned for the two of you. Basically all the things you as a man probably overlook and never gave a shit about! Hahaha. Women need to feel safe and they love acknowledgement! The “thank you” the “that dinner was amazing!” Not to get too much into it, because this article is about how women love men who labor, but to narrow it down to two fundamental needs a women has is acknowledgement and the sense of feeling “safe”.

As a man, how do you make a woman feel safe? Is it that you parade around like a bodyguard when you’re out in public? NO! I mean don’t get me wrong no woman wants to date a pansy, someone who can’t stand up for themselves or someone that wouldn’t confront a rude man who is trying to cause problems.

What I’m talking about is this,
The most important “safety” a woman cares about and needs is that the man she is with will always assume the role of the “Hunter”. Back in the days it literally was that, the men hunted and they brought home the food and items that would be used for shelter and survival. Obviously the tables have turned and there is no need for you to walk in to your home grabbing the fish by its head, but the “hunter” in you must be present.

menatwork

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By hunting I mean, going out there and working. Producing. Cultivating. Improving your and your future partners life. Women despite the change in roles we have seen in this last century with many women hitting the work place and many times earning more income than their mates, still the inner desire and need to feel “safe” stems back to the man assuming the role as a “provider”.
Don’t buy into the hoop-la of “Independent woman” stuff. See a woman WILL and CAN be independent, but even if she is and needs nothing from you economically, KNOWING that you can be the provider if needed is exactly what every woman wants to know.

So men, get off your ass and step up your game.

On this LABOR day ask yourself what are you “LABORing” on. How are you creating value for yourself? Are you acquiring a new skill? Are you planning for the future? Are you increasing your network? All these are things that increase your value.

If you’re a conservative reading this article, you may ask “well what happened to the more important things like trust, love and understanding?” I never said those were not important, but keep in mind a woman can have that and find that with her best friend or some family member. The workings of a great relationship between male and female long term must also fulfill the female needs and prove that the man she is with can and will “take care” of her.

Then there are the men who think women are “gold diggers!” that is an insecure man’s way of thinking. He is thinking “oh she is going to use me” and if your dumb and don’t stand for yourself then a woman with bad intentions would use you, and who’s fault is that? Yours! Not the girls. You as a man also set your parameters and remember that ultimately you can never buy love. You can buy purses and vacations and jewelry, but never lust or love. If you turn her on you turn her on because of your energy with her not what you buy her. What you buy will only at best provide decent sex and a complain to hang out with you until she finds someone better. If that’s all your looking for then go ahead keep it up. If not, you must not rely on your finances alone.
Let me finish by telling you this. Men are like Cars. All have an engine, 4 tires, doors and if it’s a working car it turns on and drives. A woman shops around first by her emotion, what looks and smells good to her. Basically what turns her on sexually. After that, to keep her you must show you can be reliable and go the distance. The less you show her this the less she wants to “ride”. Your sex life diminishes your intimacy level decrease and next thing you know she will start telling you its ladies night every weekend!

So on LABOR day and all others Go To Work and like my favorite comedian Russell Peters says “Be-A-Man” these fundamental instincts we have are exactly that, fundamental despite the changes in society and our times women and men will continue to have basic fundamental needs.

Love & Marriage, Relationships

How To Keep Intimacy Fun And Exciting

How do you keep intimacy fun and exciting. Do you find yourself thinking “missionary… again!??” People may argue with me, but the number one sign a relationship is going bad or is already at the point of reconciliation is when your love life gets bad. However, even while it is good there are still many things you can do to make sure you keep it alive. This can be a very personal matter for couples most do not like to talk about it, but I feel it is something that should be addressed and not neglected. Often times we think it will “just be good”. There are many dynamics of course that determine the awesomeness of your love life with your partner and in this post I will only share the physical things we do have control over. I have complied a few tips from many couples that have successful loving and happy relationships and here are some things they do to keep their loved ones yearning for the next romp session!

1. Snap Out of the Routine
If you find yourself getting it on at the exact same time and the exact same part of the week or month for your sex starved readers… then snap out of it! This time initiate a romp session at a different time or day. If Friday nights are the once a week you get it on with your partner why not sneak them in the room on a Wednesday night. These types of actions will not only keep your loved one in suspense and guessing, but will be very healthy for your relationship. “One of my favorite things my husband does is the minute I walk into the house he comes over begins to kiss me all over my neck and little by little leads me into the hallway and next thing you know were engaged in a full on love making session….” – anonymous contributor.

2. Make Out Sessions
A great friend of mine shared with me this tip and little action that I believe is often overlooked and very much enjoyed especially by women. Foreplay!! Having your make out session last longer and then doing the dirty just makes it so much better! Too many times love making becomes a task for people. Like I seriously think some couples think “humm well its been about a week I guess we should be making love if were a good couple… ok take your clothes off…” come one!! The intensity make out sessions provoke is almost irresistible! So next time before rushing into things, take it a little slow, and appreciate each other and every part of them.

3. Props

What would a movie be without music? What would a house be without furniture? Now please pay attention to this one: You HAVE to know your partner. This is not a tip or suggestion that works for everyone. Some people just do not like flavored oils, toys or costume get ups. There is only one way to find out. Keep in mind to be open to the out of the box “props” you may be thinking of. Let your imagination and the creative side of you take over. Maybe you show up with his favorite team jersey on or one day you have silk gloves if you know your partner is ticklish… who knows! The point is don’t be stuck in a box and venture a little bit and have fun!

Love & Marriage, Personal Growth, Relationships

Technology Free Time

Whether you are in a relationship or not. I felt that this tip of mine can be useful for ALL relationships, not just those full of sexual energy. We all have someone special in your lives, don’t we? One of the best things you can do is disconnect, to connect! Technology free time is what we all need!

no-technology

In today’s world we are more connected than ever! Mobile phones and social networks have made our lives almost feel like the Truman Show, where many times we forget that the only person you are putting on a “show” for should be you! So many times we are not enjoying the present for fear of not being able to “connect” or have a need to “share” it with millions of others. In a relationship learn to be present when you are together- Disconnect Yourself and have technology free time.
technology free time

A very close friend of mine in a successful relationship shared this tip with me. “Designate certain “technology-free” times, when you just spend time with each other — no cell phones, computers, iPads, tv, etc. Use that time to cook and eat dinner together, play a game, go for a walk, or do something else “unplugged.”” During these times are when you and your significant other should communicate. Have conversations about what you are going through. Share with them your thoughts and feelings. When I was dating a lot, the worst thing a guy could do is text while on the date. That rule applies not only while dating, but I also think during the times you’re with your significant other you should hold the same level of respect. Not answering your phone for 30 minutes while enjoying dinner or a walk with the dogs is not going to kill your business. And if it is, then what type of unsuccessful business are you running?

But the person you are with may not be just the boyfriend of girlfriend. What about time with your friends? Or your mother? The lesson here is disconnecting will help you connect better with the people you are around physically on this world with. You do remember that we are human beings made of flesh and have emotions and can talk and are more than a Facebook status or a virtual game..right?? SO act like it! 🙂

Love & Marriage, Relationships

Words Of Appreciation

We all know that there are words of appreciation, but are there certain actions to show appreciation?
I_Love_You_Note_Appreciation-300x225

If I could single handedly blame one reason why relationships that at one point were great, completely turn negative it would be exactly this, a loss of appreciation from both parties.

I have witnessed many relationships both intimate, friendships and business relationships go completely sour when one party fails to maintain respect and appreciation for the other. I remember learning a few years back “people do not have to do things for you”. Here is one example we can all relate to; a birthday party. No one has to go. So why throw one and why attend? People go because they choose to. Why? You appreciate that person and want to make sure you show them. Well on the flip side, if you choose not to attend and you make this a habit of never attending your friends parties or things that they throw then soon enough you will find yourself alone because people will have seen that you really do not care to make time for them and neither will they.

In my relationship, I always make a conscious effort to thank my fiance verbally when he does things for me and I also make an effort to show him through actions I appreciate him. So what can you do today, to show the person you are with that you love them and appreciate them? Here are a few of the things I like to do and that he does to make me feel like a queen!

Cuddle Time
There isn’t anything I enjoy more it is the cuddle time I get to spend and get from my fiance. Regardless of how busy or stressful your day may have been, cuddling is like asprin, it can cure everything! Make time to enjoy each other.

Cook For Them
So maybe you are not the best cook! Who cares! Nothing shows I care more than preparing something for your loved one. It can be a smoothie for gosh sakes! Throw a bunch of fruit, juice and ice and blend that baby! Or simply pouring a glass of wine. Preparing something and “serving” your other half sends major “I care about you” signals.

Your Partner Is NOT A Mind Reader

This may be the hardest for people to achieve because most people were raised not to be expressive and openly share their thoughts and feelings. I come from a very touchy feely family and my personality is very expressive, so I admit it is the hardest for me to see why people cannot be expressive. Nonetheless, your partner needs to know and be reminded that you like, love, care or think about them. Whether you say it verbally or write it in a note, just do it and genuinely mean it. I tell my partner almost every morning when I wake up and my head is laying on his shoulder that I love him. Often times I find myself receiving a peck on the forehead and him saying the same to me…. I tell you that makes me melt!! Men, forehead kisses is where it is at!

Friendships are simple. Business partnerships are simple. Love is a simple thing too. If you appreciate what is in your life and what people do for you, you will always find yourself surrounded by people who show you the same.
What are some things you, your significant other or a friend does to you that shows you appreciation? Please share with us!

Love & Marriage, Relationships

What Does It Mean To Be Dating

What does it mean to be dating? We hear this word all the time “Oh we are just dating” or “I am just dating” or “I need to go on more dates” So what does it mean to be dating??

In my opinion dating doesn’t mean to settle. I am a huge supporter of dating and of people finding and getting into relationships with amazing and great people. People who can bring out the best in you and who can make your life enjoyable, but often times I feel people rush into relationships just for the sake of not being alone. As much of propagator I am for relationships I am also a HUGE propagator that it is better to be single than to be stuck in a bad relationship or one with someone who is well to say the least just “ugh”.

Often I feel the need to explain what “dating” means. Dating in my opinion is like leasing a car. Drive it around a bit and see if you like it. You test out! You try out! And guess what?? There is a return policy when you are DATING.

Dating means meet more men and women.
Go out socially with them.
Get to know them.
Kiss and get a little freak nasty with them.
Then maybe call or never call them again.

Or if you find yourself liking them and they have grown on you and you feel you have found something you truly enjoy and love, then BUY it! Put a ring on it! Make it yours. If you’re not too sure… I suggest pick up another car and try that one out. That my friends in my opinion is “Dating”. No commitments. Just a bunch of test drives.

Now here are somethings you should avoid:

1. If you are not very into that guy or girl do not “date” for too long. You will be sending the wrong signal. Just move on go find you another one to test drive!

2. Don not expect for the guy or girl you are with to be loyal to you, if you are seeing more than one person…and if you are seeing someone else even as a love shack casual “walk of shame” then be open about it do not hide it. Karma is a B****

3. If you are dating someone and you REALLY DO like them.. then don’t be a chick sh*t and take the next step. Turn it into a serious mutual exclusive relationship. Worst thing is the guy or girl who wants the exclusivity, but is afraid to commit. It is like trying to get a free trial over and over again.

I often tell my clients if you have been what you would say “serious” with someone for over 3 years and you do not see the relationship going anywhere then why stay longer??? I was once in a long term relationship that just was not good. We were good as friends just not as a relationship. Worst mistake we both made was stay together and ride it till the wheels fell off! So If its been say 3 years and neither you nor them have taken a step then my thoughts are why wait around. Time is precious and so is your youth! so go find someone else who will appreciate you and will want to “buy now” and share a wonderful life with you.

How else do you think you will find the person whom you are best with and who you are completely in love with?

I do believe in high school sweethearts and that you do not have to date 100 people or even 5 to find someone you really fall in love with. My point is only you know if your truly happy with someone or if you are only with that person out of fear of being alone.

You see the whole thing about dating is searching for someone whom you have that “oh yeah” feeling and “click” with. Nothing can be more disappointing than a great person wasting away their time in a bad relationship or with someone who just isn’t that good to them. Youth and your prime dating age is ticking away so why waste it getting more and more entwined with someone that you really aren’t jumping up and down and swinging a terrible towel around for.

The world has so much more! Imagine if all you drove was a used tractor. Bumpy, dirty, slow as hell! And you never took a ride on a luxury sports car. Smooth, fast, young, vibrant and exhilarating! My wish for the ladies and the men out there is to not be afraid to be single. To be bold. To want to become better and more confident so you can go out there date more! If you feel you need a little guidance or some dating pin pointers check out my coaching services CLICK HERE

HAVE YOUR OWN OPINION ABOUT DATING? LEAVE US A COMMENT AND SHARE WITH US WITH YOU THINK BELOW.

My Thoughts, People Skills, Personal Growth, Relationships

Women and Relationships

As a Woman myself, you may be surprised I am putting women on blast, but I will and I do because I don’t believe in fluffy dating and relationship advice. So here are some facts about selfish women dating and in relationships. Yup Women and Relationships.

Many times in dating or relationships the man gets the short end of the stick. He is usually the first for people to assume the relationship went bad or who “broke” the girls heart. What I have come to find is many women cause the heartbreak; drama themselves! Then they get dumped or wonder why the guy they are with doesn’t want to make love with them anymore, cheats on them (no excuses for this one, men need to grow some huevos and breakup), and get dumped! But again, it is this selfish type woman who brings this all to her.

According to Askmen.com that a selfish woman has the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Requires excessive admiration.
4. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends) and lacks empathy.
5. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

I have had my fair share of encounters with women like those described above and have seen the interaction with their significant other or current boyfriend and I always wonder not only why is this guy putting up with her and also how does she manage to have 1 friend??

If you need more visualization, here are some clear examples when girl selfishness occurs:

1. The guy  is late for 5 minutes, for a woman it is like world war 3 is about to come.  When the guy showed up, whatever explanation that comes out from his mouth would never reach to her ears.

2. When the guy received a friendly message from a woman. His Girlfriend would then erupted with so many queries about cheating and blah blah and blah blah, not knowing that the woman is his sister.

3. When you two are together in a certain place and then some crazy things happen, somewhat like she forgot to bring her umbrella, make-up kit etc… She would say ,”IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Sound familiar?? Look, I do agree sometimes the guy DID forget to bring your make-up….. or in my case… I DID forget to bring my boyfriends suit for a wedding…. but he didn’t flip out! Why do we women have to flip out??

These are the kind of chicks I agree and you can say “B**** you crazy!” Good men stuck in relationships with these type of women… it happens. So men dating does not mean settling or having to put up with this behavior. And for my lady friends if you find yourself being guilty of any of the above I welcome you to inspect your life a little further and count how many friends you have, how many people actually like you and wonder if your boyfriend is only with you for now until he finds someone better…

For some coaching and how to become more well liked check out my dating services.

Know some crazy B*****s?? Share with me what you have noticed or witnessed.
 

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Love & Marriage, Relationships

Does Sex Drive Die With Age?

Does sex drive die with age. Do our sex lives really start to suck at age 28 and 34? What a LIE!! At least I would have to speak for myself. Mine has arrived and it is here to stay! Can I hear an AMEN! If you feel me then LEAVE a COMMENT BELOW 🙂

But look for yourself here is the full article from MSN written below:

“If you’re a 33-year-old man or a 28-year-old woman, enjoy getting it on while it lasts. Researchers have pinpointed those as the ages at which men and women enjoy the best sex of their lives. The survey also determined that men generally lose their virginity around 18 and are most sexually active around age 29, while women tend to have sex for the first time around age 17 and are most active at age 25, reinforcing that “practice makes perfect” truism. The survey, conducted by the British sex-toy company Lovehoney, contradicts previous findings that men reach peak sexuality at age 18, women at 30. It’s a sad day indeed in “cougar” land.”

LINK to article http://now.msn.com/living/0528-best-sex-survey.aspx

I really find it hard to believe that people can loose there sex drive at that age because at 18 to 26 I was miss awkward and non sexual. Now as I have matured I feel sexier and more sexual than ever! (and it doesn’t hurt that I have an amazing partner…) Now if you are sadly in this category then please do check out my link on COACHING SERVICES not only can I help you meet the right man or woman… you have to make sure your sex drive gets resuscitated and well… he or she’s doesn’t run away from you!

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People Skills

5 Big Butt Etiquette Rules For Women

Have a KaDunkADunk? No problem! Here are 5 big butt etiquette rules to follow. Learn to love your big ol’butt. In many countries and cultures it is a blessing, so learn to appreciate it. However having a big butt does have its issues so read on to learn the 5 big butt etiquette rules to follow.  
5.) Avoid White Or Grey Leggings/Spandex
Take note, leggings mark dangerous turf and grey and white are natural expanders and you don’t know how many times I have seen women with these things plastered on like they were painted on.This then exposes all the cottage cheese associated with the big butt and well ladies not a nice thing to see or to show to a man. Also, shirts that fall below the crotch are necessary with leggings too -TRUST.  Depending on your tolerance for public panting or display of your big booty, you may want to consider a cease and desist.

4.) Play It Cool During Big Butt Anthems
This is a hard one, I know. Now I would never recommend anyone deprive themselves the great satisfaction of delivering a proper  stanky leg rendition. However, I would advise  practicing personal reservation during a$$ anthem music. Not as a public safety measure nor as a preventative measure to deactivate ignorance (afterall, a$$ anthems summon it) but just because its horribly cliche.  Don’t be the first, second, or third chick to take it low and sweep the floor. I say, be the fifth… Yea fifth is good.

3.) Low-Cut Jeans Are Not Your Friends
I got to be real, crack IS whack! You may not like this rule especially since so many of the latest trends involve the low cut skinny jeans,but you gotta deal with it chick, you can’t participate in this fashion trend. Simply because no matter what notch you fasten that belt to, your booty crack will be exposed1 Go for high-waisters, they flesh out your shape and are much more flattering.

2.) Mini Skirts and Shorts

It may be hot and they may look good on others, but if you have a big butt it is just to risky to expose the very likely cottage cheese sections of your butt and thighs. Opt for longer skirts or if you decide to wear a mini, make sure it is only in the fall when you can wear some nice opaque tights to hold it all in.

1.) Save the Best for Last
True story. If you do it from the back as kickoff, you might not make it to the end of the show. He will enjoy it so much it will make you wonder when it will end and when he can get back to pleasing you…but sadly it never happens. So save the best for last and make him work for it!

Big butt or small butt we all as ladies share many things in common despite how we were shaped in the world of dating and not only do I know this, but I also understand the physiology behind every woman, I know What Every Man Wants.

I was single for many years, but never alone. I always managed to have a date and being able to get one seemed to come easy, but it wasn’t always like that. I have spent many years learning from experts and thru trial and error of my own dating life learning and discovering the things all men love in women. I have now mastered the art of conversation and how to date more great men and for the men I know what women like. SO if you haven’t connected with me already go ahead and subscribe to my newsletter at www.adrianagomez.com. Look forward to connecting with you!